anonymous letters - what to do?

Daily Life, Swiss News and General Topics
61
I'm not in a position to judge OP's husband, good or bad. What I was referring to was that the OP said she had no one to speak to after a fight. I'm just suggesting that she get some friends of her own.

62
I do not really agree that this is normal here. My Swiss neighbours meet all the stereotypes of being passive aggressive, but would never even think of ignoring a threatening letter at all. They are not American, so they do not run to a lawyer, but they would surely inform the police, landlord, mum and the fire brigade about it... and then every single neighbour. (I had some at my doorstep asking if it was me who complained to the landlord about XYZ before and I did not even know that some parties in my house had some issues with each other...)

And the OP does not have a wild suspicion, but said that the letters have details that are very private. So I guess it would take a serious psycho beighbour to spy on you so much to know those type of details... (well, it does take a psycho to write the letters anyway, so who knows...). I find the "hubby has an affair" option the best: it makes perfect sense that he gets mad when the OP sees the letters and it makes perfect sense that he wants to hide them.

The "hubby writes them to scare the OP shitless" option is very weird for me... if somebody has so big problems, I would expect them to show elsewhere as well in daily life.

63

64
True. But it makes fun reading

gtg empty the dryer

65
Spaces, sorry to hear about this - perplexing and upsetting. Are the contents of the letters sent to your husband very similar to the contents of those sent to you? There may be an emphasis on different points in the letters that may shed a little more light on the sender and his/her motives?

66
For some it is and others it isn't.

67
Could it be the landlord ?

68
Informing the police might not lead to an investigation, but it makes sense that they are informed and you can tell people around you that POlice is informed. If the person sending the letter is well informed, he(she) will stop.

Knowing Swiss Police , it is very unlikely they will investigate without a formal complain.

And this is your second step, any second threat, sign, note, grafiti, not necessary a letter would lead to to lodge a formal complain.

69
Go to the police and lodge a formal complaint and then go to the post office and ask for the letters to be traced.

70
it is really very upsetting..i feel sad for the situation..people present here are only playing guessing game...but it is you who know how things are, exactly... you are the one who knows ins and outs of your partner completely... you need to tell him that u are worried, upset....and that you want him to start procedure for investigations...let him do this...and then notice his reaction...

tell him u are worried for your family....he has to put u in rest even if he is very brave and such things does not disturb him...that is what is all about a relationship............you will surely find a way...my best wishes are with u...warm hug

aout

71
But... but... Wollishofener said that's what to do. You telling me he isn't normal Swiss?

Hmm... you may have a point. I will conduct a small study among my own neighbors and get back to you.

Where do you read that? All I can find is that it "seems like someone knows info about what's going on in our family" - which they would do, if they are overhearing/listening in on the couple's fights. I still think this is the most likely explanation.

If OP still has doubts, I reckon she should pick their next fight somewhere outside the home, and see whether a letter ensues and what details it contains. Simpler and less acting ability required.

72
That is a good point. And wow at what some of those couplesin your example did. OMG!

LOL! That is crazy! Instead of just telling the guy can he please clean out BOTH lint catchers they play that silly game. LOL!

You do make a good point, it might not be the guy after all and he's just handling the situation in his own way and tries to hide them from the OP just to keep her from getting so upset, emotional or doing things that will create more drama. OP it's not good to accuse him when there's no proof and don't tell him you don't believe him, if he really is innocent it's kind of mean for you to accuse him. If it isn't him, don't let the letter sender win, by making the whole thing create a problem between you guys and mistrust between you. Maybe it's someone who wants to break you guys up or cause trouble between you two. Either that or someone he had an affair with, that would explain his hiding and wanting to keep things low key etc.

73
I havent had a chance to read through all the replies but if someone has already suggested this my apologies..

Why dont you send one to yourself saying stuff and maybe include some details about him in it..

If it is your current other half, he might get freaked out a bit and admit it..

Insist on holding on to this and tell him you're going to the police as its got to the stage where you have had enough and see what happens.

It may suddenly stop..

I.C

74
UNregistered letters cannot be traced

75
As the weather here has been nice enough for a lil while to have the windows open a smidge, I'm leaning toward the "nosy neighbor" bit... or even perhaps a "nosy female neighbor who is attracted to your man AND resentful he took up with a foreign woman"... or as someone else sort of mentioned, could it be his mum being protective / trying to drive a wedge?

(Some) Women are mean vindictive and spiteful who often have no compunction about finding subversive ways of forwarding their own agenda - so, think to yourself, if you are arguing loud enough for neighbors to hear and whether or not you have any females living near you who have been eyeing your man.

76
Are they hand written or done on a computer?

Have you tried matching the paper to any in your house?

Where were the letters posted? What does the postmark say?