I was asked for cash in lieu of a box with a present inside recently and exchanged it for the local currency of where the couple were going on honeymoon. They were delighted. Also, it looked a greater quantity in foreign currency than local, ha.
It's getting more and more expensive to be a guest. I recently spent CHFthousands on an invitation, including the stag weekend - what happened to a night in a local pub? - flights and accomodation, taxis, hirecar, new tie and shirt plus gift. Can't be doing that for every Happy Couple only to have them split up three years later.
"Can I have that Thai Bhat back please, seeing as you're no longer speaking to each other?"
Didn't even get a live band but a crappy Best Of cd at the party...
Hence the need of some diplomacy and friends taking over guidance and control if the couple is from different cultural background, sometimes.
If the couple's parents are quite wealthy I think a good solution could be "let's do it big, parents pay for everything"; but the problem keeps on being a big issue if there isn't enough dough. Maybe one could reach an agreement of the type "Keep it big, but let's do it yourself or let your friends/family do it by themselves". Otherwise downsizing. What is not an easy task in certain cultures where one cannot simply go to Las Vegas and that's it. Or not celebrate at all. Or no wedding.
300 Euro/franks imho for family/close friends in Germany is OK,
in Italy it would hardly be enough to cover expenses at all.
What happened to the good old days.
I think for the evening only 100fr would be enough
And you know, after doing that for years, I had no problems or guilty-conscious hoping that we would get some money in return when it was our turn. When you're truly starting a household it REALLY helps. There WERE people we didn't invite because it was just too expensive and you have to draw the line somewhere. Anyhow, I guess I just wanted to say that there is a practical element to the gift-giving at weddings too.
However, I have a "friend" who is getting married soon and the wedding spans three continents! They are getting married in one, living in another, and family/friends are coming from three. In this case, it is most practical to ask for nothing (which they have done). As many have said, "let your presence at the wedding be your present to the bride/groom". But we all know that many people do not feel comfortable not bringing something . So the couple has asked for cash in these cases (anonymously given or not, whichever is preferred by the guest)...and has set up an account where the money will be saved until they decide where they will "settle down". Then the money will be used to help set up house (as a gift was "traditionally" given to do so).
In general, with regards to cash, I think it definitely helps to let people know that their money is going to something meaningful and won't just be used for "everyday living expenses".
But in terms of wedding etiquette, anytime you are invited to a wedding, whether you are going or not, a card of congratulations/well wishes IS expected....what you put inside is entirely personal and completely up to you!
A few years ago, when I did not have any experience with Swiss weddings I did some research and found out that if you're invited to a wedding reception/apero, 25-50 CHF per person is acceptable. For the whole day incl. dinner, it starts at 100 CHF/person but 150-200 is more common. The sky is the limit here, close friends and family might give even more. This is also what I experienced at my own wedding.
Therefore I think 300 EUR is just right, it probably won't make you stand out but it is certainly not scabby either.
I was once invited to a wedding in Spain. All of us coming from the UK were told very clearly before the wedding that although guests at weddings in that part of Spain would generally contribute towards the meal (by buying a piece of the bride's veil or the groom's tie as a keepsake), we should not feel obligated to do so as we had already paid for flights and hotels to get there.
I was invited to five weddings a few years ago. I was too ill and too poor to get to four of them, but I wanted to give gifts. I made each couple a clock, and each design was different based on what I felt that couple would appreciate. They seemed to like the thought.
I personally think 300€ is too much and I would feel guilty/bad if someone gave me that much who wasn't an older well off family member! I think 100 - 200€ should be enough. But I guess I am cheap...
Also, I sometimes think that if I don't go to the wedding maybe I should give more as I don't have all those other costs (dress, hotel, flight, and the list goes on), but somehow I guess I have never done so!
How 'bout high school graduation present? Our former neighbor in the US is graduating and I would like to give her a gift of cash, not sure what amount is appropriate!
I would also say 100 SFR is enough.