-Respect
-Communication, including the willingness to share and the act of simply listening to one's partner when he/she desires, without prematurely reacting
-Common goals
-Compromise (since one party is not EVER completely right in an argument)
-Focus upon the positives that one's partner brings to the relationship, as opposed to what qualities he/she is missing
-Dedicated efforts to maintain "couple" time, even in the face of all the reasons why it is too hard to schedule
-Appreciation for one's partner, combined with ways to show it (not just on anniversaries, birthdays, and Valentine's Day!)
-Willingness to deal with conflict fairly; recognizing when fighting is done in a destructive manner and willingness to step back in this case
-A mindset that the relationship is an equal partnership, and the subsequent handling of decision-making as such
-Recognition that taking each other for granted is dangerous.
-Recognition of sex as a crucial part of the bond between partners because of the intimacy it gives, and never marginalizing its importance within the relationship
I used the word "partner" in the list as I believe any relationship needs these things in order to be successful!
IMHO, the basis of any relationship is respect. Without respect there will be no love. Indeed we must respect each and everyone in this world regardless of their origin or their status or their gender or age or whatsoever but unfortunately its not always like this. As a result of this, one can very easily become subjective that is when one hates other and so on.
If he/she loves the other just for what he/she is and not for not he/she is then one can love the other at any circumstances. In my opinion, most relationships are influenced by many factors like other people, stress at work, weather hahaha much more but if a person loves his/her better half even at difficult times like they did in happy times then this kind of couples will live very happily for sure throughout their life.
IMHO, the bottom line could be, JUST DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING FROM THE PARTNER(wife/husband) EVEN IF IT IS LOVE, RESPECT or CARE. INSTEAD, GIVE YOUR RESPECT, LOVE AND CARE UNCONDITIONALLY! Then one will not have any disappointments which will also make the opponent understand the goodness of other and eventually he/she might learn from other :-)).
Its difficult(but not impossible) to do rather than to write or say :-)
Need to ensure the issues are discussed, clarified, and never go to bed angry. Protecting your marriage is an interesting concept, for which I rather suggest to care for your marriage. Care, Respect, Communication, Dedication, Being one-self, Passion, and lots and lots of patience.
Actually, I have had a fish choucroute many times in Alsace, don't see why octopus wouldn't work as well (especially as I LOVE both), maybe with some salt cod to boot!
Tom
While my wife and I agree on most food-stuff, i.e. we diverge slightly on tete-de-veau (hers), kidneys (mine), and other such minor things. However, she has leaned to increase her intake of chiles, and me of tripe. Compromise means letting her cook a couple times a week instead of me monopolizing the kitchen (fortunately, she's a good cook).
Tom
Yep, 40 years married - ups and downs, compromises- I've changed, he's changed, we've adapted- I tell you what - growing old together having brought up a happy family is something very very special - we happen to be married but that's not necessary
When one falls in love the other appears full of life, the other becomes the incarnation of life and both yearn and both feel confidently strong and together. They reach for what they thought they could never be, but only imagined possible.
The other becomes a liberating unpredictable strength. The miracle that each feels, is that such a wonderful person can possibly let themselves be loved and discovered.
But as time goes passes, the two become domesticated, available, always ready, always predictable. They lose their attractiveness.
And people tend to fall out of love, because the other has changed too much to please them and thus no longer corresponds to the initial object of affection. If both let go and fail to reinvent and stubbornly make love concrete and tangible, then love is destined to fade.
It's a nice theory and I'm not sure I've expressed it correctly.
I suppose it would be amazing if people really did find a way not to succumb to the lethargy of daily life and responsibilities, and are able to remember why they fell in love.
Otherwise it's a very lonely solitary existence
One reason I doubt my wife & I will ever divorce is that we're both too stubborn to let things fall apart, so we keep pushing until we've sorted out the problem (or it becomes irrelevant!).