How to overcome from divorce 😞

i would not write anything personal we had 6 years out of 7 wonderful in out marriage when we married she was 22 and i was 25 this year we thought we will have kids and decide name but this year turn into divorce she is wonderful woman loving caring so i was same with her ups and down was always there like every other marriage nobody is perfect she has done lot for me as i did for her to e were deeply in love and than last year arguments start where we both say things to each other and than she decide yo divorce however i never think of divorce and never wanted it but she made her mind i was trying to hold us but she gave up already 7 months ago and she looks very happy about it in court room she move on and said she is happy more than she ever was before she said she is very happy when i came to her life and now she said i am the person she dislike the most and now i am not in her life she is more happy than she was ever its hurt me because 7 years are not small amount we are divorced this month but i still think of her and she move on i wish her good life i also want good life for me now i have no family here to talk about and not that close friends who i can share the pain its over but sometime she came in my mind and i think of her i don’t want to think of her the way she leave me but i won’t blame her because she was like every man dream for lets say i am 60% wrong but she was also 40% but she gave up and i was not the person who gave up i try yo talk with her for 7 months to figure out and lets discuss and work on ourself but she always ignore my text never answer and only one word she want divorce and she don’t love me like me anymore all these 7 months only i have tried but she didn’t even try1% she act totally strange these time she was not the person i used to know all these 7 years the way she act these couple of month anyways we are offically divorce but the pain....

I'm so sorry you're going through this. But please try to remember that it will become easier with time. Try to not allow the past to keep you from moving forward. Because you can only move forward... And you deserve happiness and inner peace.

And who knows.... Maybe you will find someone new and come to realize that all of this was for the best. I've found that, in life, sometimes we have to go through something bad to get to something really, really good. So try to not dwell on guilt, etc. because that is just a heavy weight that drags you down and that you do not need.

Try to find something positive to focus your mind on so that you're not constantly dwelling on her and "what should have been." Try to get out and socialize, join groups or activities, etc. where you will meet people to make you laugh and who you can talk to and help you feel less lonely. You have to do this for yourself. You have to seek happiness and allow yourself to find it.

I sincerely wish you the very best, dear....

Don't lose your light.

Hugs~

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thank you very much for your answer and best wishes i will try this year had me but i hope next year will be mine so hard time i had never in my life i am 32 and feel like i went 50+ in this one year of hardship

First this happens to almost everybody. Everybody has gone through some kind of breakup or divorce and in the end, it just takes time.

You probably first have to go through the stages: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_stages_of_grief

First you have to let go and accept it is over with no chance of getting back together. This can take some time.

I suggest you make good use of your time now that you are single:

  1. Keep in very good physical health. Do lots of exercise esp. aerobic exercise such as running and biking and hit the gym while you are at it
  2. Eat healthy
  3. Sleep properly
  4. Go out and do stuff. Socialize, party, meet people.
Yeah, divorces can be really really difficult. Just try to not lose sight of the fact that it will become easier with time... Your emotions will slowly begin to settle, and you will begin to perceive the situation through a different frame of mind. The thing is, the part of our brain that controls emotions and love and the part that controls logic or reason are two different areas of the brain, and these can compete with one another. In time, that part that controls logic will take over and you will begin to view the situation with her less through the lens of your emotions.

Try to remove any reminders of her, because I think that will help you move forward. And also, stop trying to fix things with her and focus on YOU instead and how YOU can move forward. Also, try to focus on getting good sleep, because when we don't get enough sleep, our emotions become amplified. So good sleep can be really important when trying to get over something we experience as emotional and psychological trauma.

And if all else fails... talk to your family doctor and maybe they can recommend a therapist for you to talk to. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the big thing right now, and it can be really helpful in overcoming something traumatic because it teaches us how to control our thoughts and therefore also our emotions (rather than letting our thoughts control us).

Good luck, dear! And don't lost hope... I promise, it does become easier with time.

Time is the best healer. With time you will get over it. Keep your chin up and spirits high. You can meet people at pubs etc..There aren't many pubs, but you could visit the Irish pubs in Zurich where it's easier to make new friends. Good luck

i am trying i almost giveup half of the things we were doing together i stop playing game which we were playing together for hours i stop cooking food which we both like and she always ask me to make for her i stop going to the restaurant where she always ask me to bring this bring that i ask her to keep all the furniture or sell it because all will remind me of her we used to have 13/14 sphynx cats i didn’t take any becz she like cats i am cat person but i plan to never have any pet i almost gave up on everything we use to do together , some day is good some day is pain

thank you dear i will look into link also i plan to start gym again from next year i work full time 7 to 6 sometimes 7 to 7 i will try to manage going gym 3/4 times a week i have one friend he always come to me on weekend every weekend is very good he understand my pain he took my out he try to spend every weekend with me but on normal days even in work place with so much pain and sadness i act like i am the happiest guy at work place and than suddenly her thoughts came and i ask my self there was indeed things which could be better why she just gave up.. anyways i am recently divorce may be i hope next year bring good

indeed its hard but i will try my best i am now very scared and cannot afford another heartbreak i tell myself i will now spend life single , and will be there for myself and for family and friend sadly my family don’t live here but i will try making new friends i do have friends but in switzerland life is busy and when they have time they spend with their family but one friend i have is very good he always here for me on weekend.

It is very painful but stop looking back and start looking forward. However much you want to change what happened you cannot.

Remember when one door closes another opens.

Children are more rewarding than cats

thank you luckily no children involved otherwise pain would be double. i am trying the pain is fresh

I meant you might have children in your future.

Come-on...

You're demeaning the most successful animal in the evolutionary history

Breathe in slowly. Hold it. Breathe out slowly. Repeat.

Set up a routine that involves a sport activity and good nutrition.

Look in the mirror everyday and repeat “I love myself, I love myself, I love myself."

And sometimes you just have to say “f@$ck it”

Sorry to read this dude (although please, use paragraphs) but she married very young and in those 6-7 years of development as an adult she likely changed as a person and decided she wanted different things from life than you do. With time you will get over it and you are young enough to meet someone else and marry and have kids if that's what you want. It will just take some months to get your head straight and be in a situation where you are ready for someone else.

Remember, statistically close to 50% of all of the relationships and marriages end in separation and/or divorce. It's basically a coin toss if you decide to go down that path and it is very possible that even if you do meet someone else and get remarried and have kids that you will be separated and divorced again at some point in your life. It's a very common situation to happen in your 40's to 60's and I have seen it in both friends and colleagues. Of course, people being people, no-one ever thinks it will happen to them, otherwise who would bother getting married and having kids?

The best you can do now, if there is no hope of reconciliation, is try to make the divorce as amicable and painless as possible so that you remain on good terms afterwards.

Lots of -great- advice already, just going to add a list of things that helped me; not in any specific order.

1. The most important conversation you have is with yourself & you have the ability to rewrite history or more importantly the parts you choose to remember, remember the good, tone down or remove the bad parts.

2. Journal, write three things that you are grateful for that day, can be simple.

3. Write down one thing you are looking forward to the next day, again can be simple like coffee at break time with my favourite team mate

4. Exercise, it is the most important non prescription drug, when you are sad or angry run up a mountain and scream (when no one is around) and workout to exhaustion, you will sleep well.

5. Challenge your self to do something scary for you like rock climbing, it will focus your mind on keeping yourself alive and thinking about "stuff"

6. Write down on a piece of paper if you had everything in the world, money resources, what would your perfect day look like? Cross out those that are not yet possible see what is left, two key ones for me as an example was being out and about in nature (I find it very grounding) & reading books, those are things you can do now +

7. Help someone else, go volunteer, I used to go peel veg and help out at the soup kitchen in Geneva and talk to the homeless people. (helps put ones life in perspective.)

8. What If? Ask your self this everyday what if I keep going, improve myself what will/can the future hold for me - this is one of the beauties of life. (don't be afraid to dream)

9. Keep busy, make yourself a schedule and work towards self improvement, I used "The 12 week year" to set myself goals, it was fun and I improved.

10. Look after yourself first & try and improve everyday -because- in the future when the next special person appears you are going to be one impressive person.

Hope you are able to use a few of the above, you are young and have so much to live for and wish you the best on overcoming adversity!

I went out an bought a motorbike, that made me very happy. Just avoid hooking up with somebody else too soon, enjoy yourself, other mothers have nice daughters too and I had more sex after divorce than I ever did during almost ten years of marriage, a two or three month relationship once or twice a year is enough to keep you ticking over for ages.

... And use full stops, capital letters and newlines.

The biggest problem with OP is he asks questions and people suggest him something, but he doesn't read those suggestions carefuly... If you look at all of his previous posts, his writing style has been consistent. Lots of people commented on his posts about fullstops, commas etc... But he returns back with posts in a similar style. Not sure if his relationship issues were to do with communication? Just guessing...

OP has been given good advice, hopefully he takes it, at least with regard to things to do in his life.