Perhaps as Odile already said, your best bet is a Swiss who has had to cope with all the difficulties of living in another country, and still remembers what it was like.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Living-Worki...ref=pd_sim_b_1
(Try to buy a new edition, the laws change over time)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Swiss-Watchi...9061745&sr=1-1
(Diccon Bewes knows Switzerland better than many Swiss people)
But, and I think it's a big but, he already had a circle of friends, and I fitted in nicely from the begining. Since we all know how difficult it can be to make friends in Switzerland, that was a big help.
I would say it makes life easier. I'm thinking about paying bills, oficial paperwork and such. And customs. They already know the customs, so you don't have to make a fool of yourself in certain situations.
As usual, it has pros and cons. In my case, more pros, I must say.
My wife's the local one, but I'm the one that deals with everything, as I understand how this place works better than she!
Tom
If I had a foreign partner, I would have looked up all the info before even going further into the relationship, simply because at that point you can still get your head to pull the handbrake and I don't want to end up in an unpleasant situation that could have been avoided. I'm super disorganised for my own stuff but I don't slack off when it comes to someone else's well-being when they rely on me.
Can relate to the above entirely. I've been here for 11 years - and having a Swiss husband has definitely not in any way, shape or form given me a network or any kind of support with childcare.
Also sometimes with a Swiss spouse - it can be more difficult to do things with English speaking couples you meet, especially if the man wants peace and quiet on his weekends and sees socializing especially with new people, in English, as hard work
So the Swiss partner's contacts can indeed come in very handy!
I think my mother may have taught my father to drive, though.
Anyway, I'd be happy to teach my wife English, but she's not interested in learning it.
Tom
Tom
At the end of the day, though, makes one a lot stronger than expect to be helped or, rely on your partner to be willing or interested. Take it for what it is: info about your partner. I wouldn't waste time being upset about it nor use it as an excuse to not do all the leg work yourself.
Sign up for classes, get your independent social circles working, push your partner speak the language no matter what, get work on your own, start scheduling nice meet ups with friends..You won't have time to be sad about unhelpful partner. It will get him thinking, that's for sure.
It is so doable. But it is ok to be a crybaby every now and then.
Despit the belief I have about Swiss, that they are very low context and they don't spend much effort on thinking about best offers - they just get the easiest infront of them (sorry if this looks offending) however I see a great thing in having a local partner, which is then you will have a second family.
The feeling that a single person can have (or possibly a married one to non local) may stay always as if he/she is a visitor - a guest here, ofcourse this differs from one character to another - but I believe this guest feeling may slightly change in an easier way when you have a way to visit and socialize more with your partner's family.
It is just my personal feeling, and ofcourse this might not work if the partner's family is not as nice to you as you may expect, then you may hate the day that you had this partnership or you will get isolated from them and loose this advantage.
as zymogen said, one of the biggest advantages is maybe having the swiss network, someone who understands the local mindset and how things are done, and someone who can speak to the neighbours to smooth over mis-understandings etc.
BECAUSE I could do what I want, when I wanted, without regard to (1) having to "share" money, (2) having to notify regarding particulars of where, when and who, (3) I didn't have someone whispering in my ear, reinforcing all the "what if something goes wrong" that we all hear sometimes... Yes, it was easier.
Thinking myself and being told over and over, how someone "should" be helping, and doesn't, how lucky I am to have someone who can help me (but again, doesn't), that is actually counter to making things smooth here. My spouse SHOULD be who he is, feeling the need to justify lack of help to others who say he "should" help makes it worse, not better. It makes me remember how easy it was to move someplace and take care of paperwork and simply get on with it - on my own.
Yes, the potential advantages are real and there. However, the potential disadvantages are real and there as well.
Hopefully it will help others who come to be with Swiss sweeties and may have trouble themselves if they know they're not the only ones who had a hard time.
Finally, hopefully it will also help others who are wont to say "You're lucky, your Swiss sweetie can help you with everything" to understand that that is not necessarily true, and be open to the idea that these people too may need some help.
Should I help my SO with a phone call or shall I let him figure it out himself so he will learn it?
Shall we have Fondue or a Roast for dinner when we invited our (swiss) friends to come over?
How can I get him to watch german telly?
Lovely discussions about how stuff should be done, where stuff can be found and how to behave in certain cases. (we're even here because he knows more about swiss foreign stuff and I know more about swiss swiss stuff)
Sometimes I wish I could come home and talk the way I speak swissgerman. Then although I grew up with english, I never lived the language and so I don't feel as comfortable with it as with my lovely zürischnurre... I can't express myself the way I'd like to and I can't wait for the time where he can understand me...
And no, I don't speak german with him, because I forget most of the time...
No it's not always easy but mostly it's fun...