I guess us 'auslanders' just need to get used to their cultural ways seeings as we are in their country. However it is made difficult when they can be so rude and so many of their customs are contradictory.
For instance when dealing with them you have to be uber formal - using the 'sie' form and introducing yourself with your suname and all that. But they will then push past you in the street, stare at you, shout at you when you are doing something they deem to be wrong and tell you to be quiet when they have been more noisy all day. They also think they are superior to you when you can't communicate in swiss german. Therefore i give them the option of german, french, spanish, italian and english and quickly get the upper hand.
In general I just try to be as polite as i can (this annoys and confuses them), smile and let it go over me. Oh and i have started wearing knickers on my head which really gives them something to stare at!
If you ask a Swiss which culture is the rudest, they'll say it's the Russians.
And then they might say some Jewish businessmen.
Some might say the French.
I feel leaving the car running with 3 kids inside is alarming enough to cause a strong reaction. I'm sure many people have learned a valuable lesson from this thread so thanks to the OP for posting.
I doubt that was the problem that ticked the lady. What if the OP was riding in a hybrid car, huh? Good on CO fumes and with a damn near silent engine.
I'm with the rest of the posse on this one - No Mistakes Allowed save you're Swiss
again, I don't think this is an "us" vs. "them" thing. I speak perfect Swiss German so people don't know where I'm from. Believe me: there's no lenience towards the Swiss, either :-) It's just easier to fight back when you know the language, I guess - these encounters tend to leave less of a lasting impression if you successfully hit back...
I condensed the whole situation in my first post. I was still sitting IN the car when she started coming out of her house and speaking (loudly) to me, as my windows were up. And from where she started she couldn't even see that there were kids in the car. By the time I jumped out of the car, she was coming out of her yard about 20 m away from myself.
I thought I said this several times, but I didn't leave my children in the car to walk away and have a chat. The kids were all strapped in to their mandatory safety restraints and I got out for a minute to take the bag, give a hug and say goodbye. And I WILL turn off my engine next time I am parked - though I probably would have left the key in it since I was stepping all of 2 feet away from my car. However I doubt I will leave my house much for a LONG time...I have Le Shop and it makes me nervous to drive here...people with tiny cars seem to drive in the middle of the road...and only like 1 in 5 cars knows what to do at a cross-intersection with no traffic signals.
I am surprised that this thread is still alive actually. I was a bit hormonal, took it too personally and was fishing for support. I don't assume that all Swiss are rude, though I have also had other older women parenting my children (though they have no idea why they are being yelled at) in the grocery store and have seen others parent others' kids on the playground. What I was assuming is that people "generously" give advice on what you should be doing...it's a cultural gap I will need to overcome. I don't want to just live in the expat world, but it's hard to mingle when you just get told off so much.
That being said, the three Swiss people that I actually know are lovely. It's just strangers that I am a bit shy of now - a bit of a disadvantage...LOL.
Yelling? Actually fully yelling?? Really? I have never, ever heard a Swiss person yell, not even my husband when he's off-his-face angry with something. Somehow it just doesn't fit with all the " Swiss are passive aggressive " complaints that pepper this forum.
Yell = shout at the top of your lungs, i.e. loud, bring the house down kind of shouting. Somehow I cannot see an old woman having the gumption to manage that.
All of these comments about "the Swiss" staring, shoving and generally being impolite make it sound like Switzerland is the ONLY place in the universe with a void where there should be manners.
Have any of these aggrieved posters ever been on the London Underground? You can fill your boots with rudeness down there.
This is very true. BUT it tends to be quiet rudeness (ie just pushing and shoving or giving dirty looks). It's almost like people realise they are being rude and don't want to highlight the fact by shouting as well.
No, not at the top of her lungs. She was raising her voice at me. It was more the look of disdain especially when I was trying to apologize for whatever I was doing.
And no, I am feeling about as much judgement on this forum...so, no, all cultures are generally equal.
I cannot be more sorry for doing whatever it was that has now offended so many...
It's no judgement and there was no offence taken. I just think it's a bit sad that people fresh off the boat, arrive in Switzerland, have a bad experience, then judge an entire nation by it. By their outrage and surprise they seem never to have encountered any rudeness or abruptness of any sort in their home nation.
I want to live where they live - it sounds delightful!
But don't forget that millions of people use the underground - many of whom are visitors, tourists, etc so I do not think that the behaviour down there is indicative of English manners per se ...
And, as IanSmithUK says, if there is rudeness it vary rarely involves raised voices and I, personally, have seldom ever have to deal with pushing and shoving.
It hasn't been the first situation...hence the question. I don't go out much, but it seems the times I do, someone has an opinion about everything (things no one would ever even notice in the US) - like I mentioned even my kids get shushed in our private driveway on their scooters at 4 pm by the neighbor 20 m away across the road who is in his yard with a saw. Do I have to take them to a park for them to be able to play? It's just culturally very different and I am trying to adjust being that I have only spent 2 months of the 3 years I have to go. I don't expect the culture to bend to me, I am taking language lessons, now for good reason - self defense.
By your comments you seem pretty negative about the move and you have a long drudge to go if you are pissed off all the time with the locals and their culture. Did you have big reservations before moving here?
Your kids may start to pick up on your negativity and maybe close themselves down to embracing new cultures "Because mummy is sad here." Yes, people can be different and there are always going to be people who will speak up or look at you funny or bring up some odd rule you'd never considered but I think it would be wrong not to try to at least bend a bit with the culture.
Your language lessons should be seen as a development not a defence.
Get the kids involved - go and find a playground with other mums and kids, whether they are Swiss or foreign. Ignore the people who hush your kids - they aren't worth the airtime on here anyway.
You've now officially become Swiss Nicola, you blame it on the foreigners. Works very well in Zürich too, where a minority are actually born in Zürich.
Please take your key with you. Kids are quick and unpredictable. I know this from experience.
I'm beginning to sense insecurity. Drivers are actually very good here, better than in the States. Please try to get out more or you might be finding yourself very isolated, and ultimately, becoming depressed.
I am not mad at the culture. I just really don't like confrontation.
I was actually very excited about the move. I was very excited about coming here and learning the language and blending...I am not an introvert, so staying home isn't something I am used to doing...but I am very pregnant and a bit tired (ok, a lot) and have been home alone with 3 kids all day long for 2 weeks while my husband has been traveling and just didn't need to be yelled (spoken loudly too) that day and it is clouding my opinion of everything at the moment. And yes, I am probably being overdramatic and I should just relax and let it go and move on and never check this thread again as forgetting is a fabulous first step.