Tom
Who deleted it, and why?
Ace1: "trolling".
I shan't bother again.
I actually think that it's a topic that merits a discussion in it's own right. Odile raised an interesting point about opinions towards vasectomy which could have generated an interesting debate.
I think from Odile's post onwards could be split off into another thread and made into a discussion which would't interfere with this thread which is useful for recommendations/ first hand experience etc.
No idea what DB's thread said as it was already deleted by the time I'd posted on here.
Not sure if Odile raised an interesting point or a rather personal judgment (hence the reaction), nevertheless the fact that an opinion or judgment may actually exist on the matter is interesting..
Applying logic to such an essential natural part of a human being (virility and fertility) is bound to create contrasts.
At least with condoms there's no wet patch
I understand you're trying to counter some (perceived) stereotyping here. I do get that.
But I just read your sentence the opposite way round in my head - "only real women / those comfortable with their sexuality can happily consider getting their tubes tied" - and I think you'd agree that that's nonsense. Do I need to be more comfortable with my sexuality to get my tubes tied than I do to get an IUD fitted? More comfortable with my sexuality to get my tubes tied than to take the pill? I don't get the connection. And if there isn't a connection for women, I don't think we should be trying to construct one for men.
Whether men watch their partners give birth or not is also IMO beside the point. The whole idea that "real men" are those who do this and don't do that , and if you're a man who engages in behavior X you must be more comfortable with your sexuality than someone who doesn't - rubs me the wrong way. It's the same stupid macho stuff, with only the details redefined. So instead of "real men go off down the pub" while the wife gives birth, we now have "real men cut the cord". Frankly I don't think that's much of an improvement. It's still telling men that their virility depends on behaving in a certain prescribed/approved way, and that's the part I object to.
Since the only men who would ever have any reason to think about having a vasectomy are those who enjoy sex with women, one can only conclude that "men who are uncomfortable with their sexuality" are those who don't enjoy sex with women.
It's rather surprising to see such comments about homosexual men in the year 2015, but it takes all sorts, eh?
Ace1: this is trolling. See the difference?
well further to the point, only those men who have sired children and who are so virile that they need to be cut in order to enjoy sex with women without having more children need to have a vasectomy. In our case, my boys made it through the line of defense so to speak. Depo shot was no match for my shots lol
So one must have a partner/wife and have children in order to have a vasectomy? That is absurd. Maybe a guy decides he never wants to father children and has the procedure to ensure the question never arises.
Well said.
For me, only one thing goes with real man and its;
Real men don't rape.
Sorry for the off topic.
Oh why do threads get deleted? Such a shame that in this modern world people still cannot share divided opinion.
For me, only one thing goes with a real man and it's:
XY chromosomes
The rest of it is morality, culture and prejudice.
I am very comfy with my sex-life thank you.
Did you get a patent?
no of course not, but it is more difficult. In my case with 3 kids already it was just obvious I didn't want any more. Without kids there are more questions. A childless woman under 40 asking for tubal ligation is likely to be denied as was the case for some friends back in Montreal. For men, yes it can be done without a partner, without already having kids however the Doctors want to make absolutely sure this is really what you want and you understand that it may not be reversible.
So perhaps the question is not comfort in one's own sexuality, but rather, an understanding of the permanence of the procedure.
sure. but i think that's just standard practice for Doctors, no matter what the specialty. Their job is to fix what is broken, not to break what is functional. If there is no question of medical necessity then it is simply a cosmetic or superficial need in which case the Dr. needs to ensure that what he is doing is well understood. There are risks that need to be understood for everything from a snip to a nose/boob job etc. If it is not a medical need of course Dr's are more diligent about handing out surgery haphazardly.
I did not mean for this to turn into a pro vs con, man vs eunuch or whatever. Simply stating that if this is what you are contemplating for whatever reason, I can recommend Dr. Cinbis. In terms of performance, I was told the follow up testing should be done within 3 months or 30 ejaculations which in our case was within 2 weeks
Sorry! I did try to divert the debate elsewhere, but mods will be mods!
I'd probably manage that before getting off the train that afternoon:
"****! Ow! Sh**! Nnng! Ee! Ow! ****! Sh**..." etc...
OMG- been out and had no idea this would happen. So sincere apologies to Backtoch- and again, well done. Glad to hear all is working well, as said before, enjoy . My comment was a positive statement to congratulate someone for taking this big decision and being so positive about it.
Won't go into great detail- but agree it was shame to delete other discussion, although perhaps some participants did not mean to have a sensible and positive discussion.
My comment was never meant to be a negative judgement on those men who decide to do or not to do this, at whatever stage, or whatever reason (including Edot, of course, those who have chosen to never ever have children).
Several who took my post as a negative 'judgement' should have known better- due to their education- and having learnt to read a statement or 'essay' question. If I said that 'only real men play rugby' would it automatically imply that all the men who do not play rugby are not men? Daft, really.
Every case is different- and of course couples have to make any decision re contraception together (amazing how many do NOT though- but it is another story). In our case, I had just had so many very serious operations due to a car accident, then an emergency ceasarian after 10 hours in labour as the baby was a transversal breach- and then another difficult birth (forceps) for the second- and OH, bless him- said he never wanted me to have another op ever again. Techniques for female sterilisation have improved a lot since then- but even so, there is no denying that a vasectomy is a minor op, with local aneasthetic and return to normal within a day or two- and that the op is much more consequent for a woman.
I had been on the pill far too long, could not have a IUD due to scarring re ceasarian and had real problems with the first one fitted- condoms? for ever- no thanks. So that was great and no regrets.
When the decision was made, the surgeon told us that the only men who he was aware of had had psychological issues after vasectomy (and he was on an international research panel) were those who were insecure in their own sexuality or with poor self-esteem, often macho types, and who felt psychologically emasculated by it, despite the fact that it made no difference whatsoever to their physical ability to 'perform'. The majority of men who have seen their wives go through difficult childbirth, and experienced the joys, but also exhaustion and difficulties of their childrens' upbringing- felt a real surge os sexuality- freed from the worry about future pregnancies, and so did their wives. We certainly did Lots and lots of research and publications confirming this.
Again, apologies Backtoch- and well done to both of you. Over and out.
Vasectomies are reversible, completely reversible.
Even with the word 'generally' in there this is still a shit piece of information.
Depending on where you look and what is measured the success rate is between 55%and 75%.