Advice regarding joint incomes

Family, Education, Health and Pets
1
Hello,

So we nearly lasted ten years, unfortunately things have turned sour.

My parter of 15 years has become rather difficult and I am 99% sure she is having an affair. Anyway we had a particularly bad fight this evening.

Her mental health seems to have deteriorated and she is having some form of midlife crisis.

I make about 6 times more than her and we share our money (always have).

The issue is we need her income as well as mine to pay our costs and I am worried that she is going to try and pay her wages into another account at the end of this month.

We have been struggling with our relationship (her affair) for 8-9 months. Her attitude towards me and the children has become so bad that it feels like she doesn’t care about the kids either. This is hard for me to understand. If she hates me etc, fine but her selfishness is unbelievable and she keeps spending money we do not have even when I beg her not to or try to reason with her.

I’m worried for the financial security of our rented home and kids etc over the next 6 months.

Is there something I can do to force transfer ownership of our salleries to some temporary government plan, to ensure we can make payments on our commitments and stop her from just leaving us short each month.

I know I will likely have to pay alimony and I don’t care, but we can’t split the bills as she doesn’t make enough.

We will have to live together for the foreseeable future and we have two kids and she is already talking about “her money” and how she will have a seperate account.

I just want to protect us and the kids from her (new) odd behavior and make sure we can seperate as clean and debt free as possible.

Thank you

2

No, there’s nothing on the government level that you could do. I’d check with your bank, depending on how the joint account was set up you might be able to remove her from it. Iirc our joint account has me having power of attorney or some because I was added to the account after husband set it up some months earlier before I made the move over such so I assume that could be removed if necessary. If it was opened jointly in both names then I don’t think there’s anything you can do to stop her taking money from it except to take away her debit/credit cards for the account so she can’t access it from them.

3

Either joint account owner can access any of the funds without the specific agreement of the other owner.

One could ask your bank to open a new account in your name and transfer any or all of the funds to the new account. I suggest you do it before your partner does it.

Or move it to a Revolut or Wise account.

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