rb_ca
9 August 2008 14:18
1
Poetry-lovers,
Inspired by the great Haiku thread, here is a modest offering from another tradition. Anyone who can compose a limerick about Geneva gets special mention!
There was a young maiden from Bern
Her lovely face made the heads turn
She married a banker
He really should thank her
For all the new clients he earned
While ringing the bells in Lausanne
The chaplain devised a great plan
The Sunday night mass
To replace playing jass
With the Chair of the Bank of Japan
Once in the fair city of Zurich
A chemical spill most sulphuric
Got into the water
It shouldn’t have ought ‘er
The scientists claimed it was uric
I've got a few good ones, but I have to check first if there's a Nantucket in Switzerland...
Meanwhile, here's a quick one...
There once was a man who would fright,
Because he had to pee in the night,
So he'd wait to do his thing,
When the church bells would ring,
Much to his sleeping neighbors delight.
Almost a true story.....
From Geneva I took the slow train
It stops every where, such a pain
So long was the ride
Very nearly I died
Instead I got caught in the rain
rb_ca
9 August 2008 17:11
4
There may not be a Nantucket in Switzerland, but there are surely a few Swissies in Nantucket... If it's the one I remember from school, the asterisk key will come in handy!!!
rb_ca
9 August 2008 17:19
5
Fab!!! Thank you, this one's for the anthology.
I got stuck trying to rhyme "Geneva" (like if you pronounce it "Genever" it rhymes with cleaver. Terrible mental image - wisely gave up!!)
Yea, that's the one...a ceiling, a bucket and a bunch of asteriks
As for Geneva, I'm on the other side of the Röschtigraben, so not too familiar with the French part, but here goes:
There once was a man from Geneva,
Who was a devout Catholic believer,
When his wife slept around,
He never uttered a sound,
But if she ever got a job he would leave her.
LOL, LOL, LOL
BTW, other things that could rhyme with Geneva
see ya
weaver
and verbs followed by "her" as above
There was a young girl from Geneva
Whose dream is to be a great diva
But she sings like a frog
While swigging some grog
That surely won't get her a viva
How about this one for Geneva:
There was a young guy from Geneva,
he made a mint during dot.com fever.
Now he's a banker,
and god such a w*****r,
You never did meet such a weener
Or how bout this,
There was a young girl from Geneva,
Whos thought she'd apply for a visa,
To Spain she would go,
To escape from the snow,
And dance to Eviva Espania
ole
There once was a girl from Thalwil
Who loved her schnatzlettes of veal
And to her delight
The boys kissed her goodnight
But she never gave them a feel
She went to the badi by day
They hoped she would lay in the hay
But her father was stern
The boys really yearned
But she wanted them only to pay
AbFab
10 August 2008 08:36
12
The was a young scientist from Geneva
Who claimed, he'd be in the encyclopaedia,
To others' mirth
He moved the earth
With help of a gigantic lever
OMG I can't stop - who turned on this faucet???
Hans Rudi came from Zermatt
In his husli he sleeps on a cot
On the snow he was born
By the big Matterhorn
He loves to ski - like a lot!
Ok, not really about Switzerland, more the EF
I went to the froum one day
to talk about my washing day
but a troll had got in
and was making a din
even though he had nothing to say.
Gruezi, mien Name isch Heidi
Ich bin von die Schwiz, isch so kleine!
D'welt isch so gross
Was mache ich blos?
Ich gange hei zum Grosi
Translation:
Gruezi, my Name is Heidi
I am from the Schweiz, its so little!
The world is so big
What shall I do?
I'm going home to my granny (yes yes I know there was only a grandfather but it had to rhyme right? LOL)
This is a great exercise for the language.
A mature woman from Bern
Her body was no longer firm
Her mind was quick
She was good with a whip
So she gave lion training a turn
Ok anybody want to do one together and see what we wind up with???
Eva came from Geneva
She married Werner, a Berner
Next.......
she married Werner who sold Bernina (aren't those sewing machines?)
They both moved to Thun
Had plenty of room
because people loved to see them
Will think more later....
rb_ca
10 August 2008 19:25
19
I LOVE this game! We used to call it "le cadavre exquis" at school (who knows why?...)
Here another angle:
Young Eva went east from Geneva
'twas rumoured she wielded a cleaver
She then married Werner
A wealthy old Berner
and...
Next!
or:
Once Eva, who hailed from Geneva
Developed the hots for a weaver
But when she wed Werner
And became a Berner
She...
Happy end?????????????
Finished that off for you