Angry Swiss dude

Daily Life, Swiss News and General Topics
1
Hi all- I am in need of a little advice. My husband, daughter and I live in Thalwil. My daughter is 6+. Being six, she has accidentally pressed the buzzer for the couple who live directly across the stairwell hall. The first time she did it, she was coming inside from playing in the playground directly below our apartment. (We can see and hear her the whole time she is down there, plus there are neighbors whom also let their kids play down there). Upon her ringing of his buzzer, she realized she made a mistake and then rang ours and we let her in. But regardless, the husband of our across the hall neighbors was waiting for her at the the top of the stairs

and as soon as he saw her he began yelling at her, by which time my husband and I opened our door. We rushed her inside and told her to apologize. He screams that we have disturbed him and slams the door. All his yelling previous to, "you are disturbing us" was in German, presumably of the Swiss kind. This was a week ago. We told our little girl that she really has to try to ring the right bell the first time. Okay.

Then today, she was out walking the dog with my husband. She ran ahead of

him and, oops, you guessed it, rang the wrong bell. Immediately realizing her mistake, she ran back to my husband and was panicking. Her Dad to,d her it

was okay thinking that the dude has to realize that she is six...a kid, and that

he got his yelling out of his system from that last time. But no. By the time my husband and daughter were making their way inside the building, Mr.

Swiss neighbor dude had made his way down the stairs and was in my husband's face with my daughter watching. I have to say that having angry

German spewed at you is unpleasant, so I can only imagine how unpleasant

this was for my husband and daughter. My husband being the calm, cool, collected guy that he is, just kept repeating, "I understand." When crazy Swiss

guy was finished yelling in German, he very angrily flashed the international

sign for screw you and up yours. In front of my six year old daughter. Did I mention that she is 6? Anyway- then he screams again, "You are disturbing us!" and storms away.

My husband was po'd and now my daughter is scared. Is this a Swiss thing? Or is Swiss boy just irrationally angry and we just happen to have the bad luck to live across from him? Can we formerly file a complaint about this guy to

the police? Would the Swiss polizei do anything about it? And by the way, I am from New York City and I have never witnessed such rage over a wrong buzzer ringing. I cannot even begin to count the amount of times I have had the buzzer of the various NYC flats I have lived in, incorrectly rung. And it was never a big deal.

Any thoughts?

Thanks

2
forget about it. i doubt your daughter is going to get it wrong again.

people can get a bit grumpy when disturbed.

3
I understand your frustration and concern, just live your life normally and totally ignore all that, he's probably another psycho same as many others you have to deal with in daily life and you never pay attention to.

Just make sure your daughter pays attention to avoid dealing with such behavior

4
Send me the name & address, and I'll come over with my 6 year old and have some fun with Mr angry German.

5
Consider calling your landlord and maybe even the police. This man is unstable and his behaviour is abusive and could be construed as a real and tangible threat to your daughter.

Police involvement is possible when you behave this incorrectly in public in Switzerland. Screaming and physically violent gestures at 6 year olds is definitely assault in my book and probably would be carefully considered by your local authorities as well. I doubt they would jail your little one for ringing the buzzer, although this is Switzerland.

BTW, I had my buzzer rang on average once every week or so whilst I lived in Switzerland. There was almost never anyone there and I was told, eventually, that persons would push all of the buttons if the one they wanted wasn't answering just to get inside so that they could make the delivery or gain access to perform maintenance on the building. What would this guy do then? Scream at the gas man or whatever?

If it happens again you need to just shake your head and do that tsking thing the Swiss are so fond of and tell this wanker that he needs to get a life, or else. Or else.

6
He's obviously an a#@%&*e !!!

Hey, you could also put a small little sticker-thingy (pink-panther?) beside your buzzer, so she recognizes your buzzer instantly!!

7
Actually, that is a brilliant idea. Most door buzzer set ups have a location for your name plaque right next to the button.

You could place some obvious visual identifier under the plastic overlay on your name plaque.

8
Rest in Switzerland is really important, I remember when I was young me and my brothers where playing football at noon by our grand mas house in St Gallen and everyone yelled at us for making noise, some swiss can get insanly angry if you disturb there rest. I assume that the man your talking about is one of them. Still it was inexcusable what he did but if you try go to the police you'll probably end up getting a ticket for disturbing him (yes there are laws against is).

I think you just have the misfortune of living next to the guy most swiss are not like that.

9
I totally understand your confusion as I had one of those screamers in my face last week. I found it really hard not to react in the same horrible manner back. The poor woman had to wait a couple of minutes, while a mother dropped off her child in my playgroup, the mother didn't speak German and I think this infuriated her further.

Anyway I flew down to the garage to ask her what she was thinking of screaming at my client like that especially as I pay for the visitors car-park, apparently she had an important appointment. Her face was so contorted with rage and indignity that it repulsed me. I politely suggested that she write to the landlord as apposed to scaring little kids and that if she approached any more of my clients in such a vulgar manner I would be writing to him myself. I then stood there as she drove off shaking my head as if to say "what a bloody nut bag".

After all these years in Switzerland I still haven't got a clue how to deal with these strange and furious erruptions, if they only knew how ugly and ridiculous they looked, I think they'd try a bit harder to hold on to their rage.

I hope you can put it behind you, these bullies need a taste of their own medicine BUT who in their right mind would want to retaliate in such a manner. Write down the date and time of each incident and complain to the landlord via registered letter. Fight fire with fire and good luck.

10
Nonetheless, I'd almost like to see the police try and give a citation to a small child when the supposed adult is acting in an overly hostile and threatening or abusive manner.

You will note that I did mention talking to your landlord first.

Cause you are correct, this is the CH, and I could just see some small child being frog marched off to the gulag for disturbing some "good citizen" while he was resting.

Still, you are right about the loud outdoor noises being prohibited. I would be curious to know what the law says about accidental incidents caused by small children who are not legally adults but are allowed to walk themselves to and from school, sometimes multiple times per day. Could be outrageous or entertaining, you never know.

11
I think you've landed yourself a nutter, and this is not the Swiss way at all.

Kids ring our doorbell all the time, along with people selling things, giving out church related items, SVP promoting themselves.

Everyone in our area puts up with it, and doesn't start screaming at people, etc. We had a group of five and six year olds last year who would go round and ring all of the doorbells in the buildings and then run away. It took some time, and some parent chit chat, but it got solved with no scary behavior.

These people are really the exception here. They are tolerated by other Swiss only to a point, and therefore they love to find newcomers to pick on. I had to learn to tell people off, and in a way I would never do at home. In the US, I'd assume they could be dangerous and avoid them like the plague. Here I assume they have bad manners.

Someone shot at my dog once because he ran into their bushes. I should have had him on a leash but I didn't. Totally my fault, but not an acceptable response. I let him have it until people were standing around watching, and he had nothing left to say. I was irate.

It would be a cold day in hell before I'd tell off someone in the US carrying a gun.

12
That's really strange. But I would also put a little sticker, a flower or something she likes next to your bell. At 6 she obviously cannot read and just presses the buzzer from her memory.

Besides this I really recommend you to contact the owner or the company that looks after the building.

I think no one in the world is allowed to get screamed at.

13
The appropriate "Swiss" response to such a lunatic is to take your right index finger and tap it repeatedly against the right side of your head (4 or 5 taps to the temple area). You then turn around and walk away without ever saying a word to him, not even an apology.

14
The sticker next to your bell idea is an excellent one.

A six-year-old should very quickly learn which bell to press.

Calling the police would just make matters worse.

You probably don't know what your neighbour's circumstances are.

Maybe he works at night and needs to sleep during the day.

Maybe he is ill.

Maybe he was watching a whodunnit and missed the punch-line.

Having your doorbell rung in mistake for someone else's IS annoying.

Why not just buy a bottle of wine and put it in his postbox with a card simply saying 'sorry'.

You obviously have to somehow learn to live with this person, however annoying and unreasonable he appears to be.

15
Also I don't think it has anything particularly to do with being Swiss, although this probably makes the situation feel worse because you don't understand the language and feel that you are constantly on the back-foot in such situations.

The guy sounds like an idiot with serious problems if such a simple mistake makes him fly off the handle.

It's hard but I think the best thing to do is to treat him as you would anyone in this situation and just say, "Entschuldigung" and walk off without getting steamed up. If he can't deal with a simple apology for a child's simple mistake, that's his problem.

If he starts to act with some aggression or in a physically threatening way well that becomes a whole, more serious problem.

16
Nutters are not CH invention, what would be local would be thinking that people will just take this wrath, no problem, and correct their sins. There are aggressive people all over, but only somewhere people think they won't get any response back so they just aggress.

I am against treating violence with violence, but lengthy procedures involving registered letters might bring some fruit laters, true that, one needs some kind of reassurance that nut case won't yell at your 6yr old tomorrow, when you are not around (well, he obviously does in front of you, too, and your hubby...).

When people do not retaliate, they are sometimes viewed as pushovers, in some cultures. Especially if there is a language barrier, he probably allows himself saying things his wife is holding her ears for. So, if you don't tell him off, you might be seen as a door mat, not well mannered adult person. Next time he yells, calmly and uninvested, raise your voice for short, that will shock him maybe enough. I had to learn to do this, against my nature, so people would stop aggressing and picking. They back off super fast. No trouble anymore, ever again. I would write a letter simultaneously, that you find unacceptable (and unsafe) to have an adult in your house treating a 6yr old with aggression, repeatedly. Copies to commune, cops, the regular shtick...

I do think screaming is aggressive enough, wouldn't accept that, even if he had an excuse (which 6yr buzzing the wrong thing is not). You will laugh about it soon, speed up your German, though, in the mean time.

17
No excuse for scaring children. Take him out.

Sorry, I have little tolerance for usless members of society today.

Buy him a bottle of wine!?! You are kidding me right?

18
No, I'm not kidding.

The op has to live opposite this couple and, by buying a bottle of wine and saying 'sorry', at least they are attempting to right the apparent wrongs.

Everyone is different and we have to learn to live with strange reactions to what we consider normal situations.

We can't go around beating people up all the time.

If the neighbour continues to be difficult, that then is the time to 'take him out' whatever that means!

19
Agreed. 6-year old kids don't work, don't pay taxes, and are a drain on the system. I have no tolerance whatsoever for those useless little buggers.

Oh, wait, you meant the old man?

20
I know the norm here is to enable such behaviour from the natives. I'm just sick of that sh1t.