Its a chance, some are willing to take others are not.. so before you advise someone, its good to know their person or take in life.
You can tell someone to dump the sod and move on... what if they do move on and then fail to find a suitable partner and at the same time are NOT the kind of person who can cope with being "old and single" .. they would only blame it on the person who gave that advice.
And the vice versa... you can decide to stay with the bestard, only to realise it only went worse and you should have left the first time.
Life is like a roll of dice sometimes and you have to take chances. I would rather take a chane along with the kind of person I am. What I can bear and what I cannot. We all have individual strengths and weaknesses... and the decisions in such times should be based on realising them.
Nah, my dislike is for the situation where someone would be more comfortable in a crappy situation because they can't see themselves anywhere else. That by definition is an even more crappy situation.
The unfortunate part, is that your observation of how people think, is valid one. People limit themselves rather unfairly because they fear change.
Of course the OP's problems may partially stem from being an out of career stay at home parent. I can sympathise with this as I am in the same boat. There was month or so where I couldn't deal with what was going on and it almost caused serious problems. Fortunately for me I am good at being a ski bum and surfing the net and wasting my wife's money so it all came out fine.
To me it is pretty easy. You should not have sex with him anymore, you don't know what other risks he is taking, is he on the low-down? Find a good lawyer. I have so many female friends that are divorced, having a great time and want to stay unmarried with their choice of boyfriends. They are having a ball! 38 is the new 28, being sad and frumpy ages you, get out and get some good loving! There are so many resourceful men, who know how to love a real woman in so many different ways, they don't need prostitutes.
As many have suggested I agree about taking the time you need to gather your thoughts and regain your strength - This must be a tough time for you. Holding off on the sx, even if your sx drive is high, is a good idea too. There's a lot to be said for self help.
I can't say that Hoppy's suggestion of staying single and enjoying men's affections as you please is the approach I would choose (This just seems to fuel the frenzied inferno of frivilous fornication!) However I have spoken to women who find this lifestyle satisfying and rewarding, and I guess if you only date single consenting men, it could work without complication...
Anyway I hope, above all, that you manage to clear your thoughts and understand your heart/soul - Getting your heart to agree with the conscious decision you seem to have made will be tough indeed. The open, honest and unbiased opinions that people have offered here are a great support to help you weigh up your options.
But I would really suggest talking to someone from home who is a close and trsuted friend/family member - someone you know is on your side. The warmth, unconditional love and shoulder to cry on can be some of the best balm for your soul you can get.
Take care and I wish you all the best, whatever path you choose.
There are many ways to enjoy male company without fffffornicating- unless you think that men are only good for one thing. Friends and family of course are always important, my friends being single doesn't stop them from having fun with me or their kids, the world does not stop because of one man.
As a man, I say take a 3 step run up and kick him in the nuts. That should jog the brain he is thinkng with. As for all you guys saying he is a guy who is a slave to his physical needs blah blah. WHAT CR@P! If you can't keep it in your pants you don't respect yourself. If you don't respect yourself how on earth can you respect let alone love anybody else.
/climbs off soap box/
Now to the OP. Go for some councelling, if nothing else it will enable you to talk about it with somebody who will listen and not necessarily give advice. This is very important cause it will let you come to your own conclusion. At a time like this you are entiteled to feel selfish, what you thought you had and were working to keep your partner has thrown away. If you decide to keep him then good on you but make sure he knows he will always have to work at rebuilding the trust between you. It's not a punishment, it's a reality. If you decide to leave him then so be it at least you tried the councelling and have thought it through.
Take some of these people up on there offer to meet/talk. It's amazing how much better you feel by just sharing your problems. Like somebody posted ealier be careful who you tell in your family & friends because they will alwyas judge your hubby by what you tell them, and the DON'T have to forgive him.
And just for good measure kick him in the nuts and say it's from me. Just saying thanks for the stereotyping of all men think with their John Thomases.
God, so much moral pontification over something so insignificant. Assuming he's not an idiot and used protection, then don't blow it up into more than it was. It's only sex.