Attire & how much homework in state primary school?

Thank you so much for your kind, thorough and thoughtful reply. I truly appreciate all the care and information you put into it! I will certainly take your post seriously and have some further discussions with my husband. We do have almost all of the books you mention already but will get the schooling one (only available as a Kindle book on Amazon here apparently).

We have a contact at the University who is helping us find an apartment (we have a good lead on one as of yesterday). I have been getting listings from several agencies for months, but the few I contacted said it was "too early" given our August arrival timeframe.

I really don't want to give the wrong impression - I really am grateful for the responses and opinions here, it's more that our situation is unusual in that my professor husband will be on a one year sabbatical that can't be extended, and his own university is paying his normal salary but not anything additional for moving/living expenses. I truly appreciate the help from you all!

If this is the case then you are going to have many more things to be worried about than if your children should wear sweat pants to school! You know one chicken breast is 10 bucks, right?

Here is a good thread on saving money: How to live comfortably in CH on less than 120k - EF savings advice thread

(P.S. I live in the heart of Lausanne and I have never seen any child regardless of age wearing sports attire to school. But then again, this is the "big" city and the kids here are maybe a little more hip/fashion forward.)

I think this very important advice that you should consider carefully. Basic living is much more expensive here than in the US and many expats are wrong footed by the magnitude of the difference. Make sure that your husband's salary can comfortably support your life here. Sure, you can scale back your expenses to a large degree, but even then it is good to be aware of this so it doesn't come as a rude awakening.

I had the opposite impression in another swiss "big" city: lot of young people going around with sweatpants and maybe a leather jacket or a puffy one (i associate that style with second-generation ex-yugos and italian football fans).

Anyhow they should be fine with whatever they want at school, maybe they will want to change their style anyway when they get here depending on the crowd so don't buy too much heh.

ditto. no sweatpants around here (thankfully ) though kids are pretty casual- jeans, t-shirts, etc.

and i agree on the priorities of figuring out how to navigate your budget- be ready to have weather-gear for kids (cheaper to buy in the u.s) rainboots, raincoat, ski wear, slippers, gym sneakers etc. otherwise the kids will likely be going on camps with school- ski camp, farm camp, whatever depending on school and you'll be obligated to send them, pay and expected that they have the proper gear.

also, depending on the school policy- your kids may be held back a grade due to language learning (very common in many schools) so their academics may seem very light compared to the u.s so it's good you will supplement what they would be doing in the states, as they probably won't be doing the same here.

personally, given your situation, my one piece of advice would be to just consider it a lost year (academically speaking in terms of advancing) and let them just enjoy the discovery of the situation. to be honest, i have heard and seen many kids coming in after 8years who felt very alone, isolated from other students because of the language but mostly because of the established friendships as mentioned above. this is huge for kids and can be very disheartening, especially if parents feel isolated and alone as well (very often the case). although you may prepare and plan for all the hiccups along the way- be ready that this will all fall apart for a bit and that can be a real tough time (esp for a planner-type person). be ready to have your world shaken up in a different way than expected and be ready to just go with it. best tool for your little ones is flexibility and little expectations so everything is a bit of gift and not a case of "this isn't how i thought it would be". adaptability, flexibility and wonder will be the best method through it all.

enjoy your adventure and don't plan more than the essential. personally, i didn't read any books about switzerland, didn't organize anything but home and school basics and found that this left a lot of space for discovery. best of luck!

Hi,

I have 7 and 8 year old boys. We got here 6 months ago. I agree with all the others who have offered their insights. This is how things have worked well for us. we took a house in a village ( on a good bus route that meets the train so it's only 30 mins for husband to get from home to work in Basel). it is a big house with a garden and very close to the school, shops and is quite cheap ( 500/week). The kids get 6 hours of German a week extra in the school with a language teacher provided by the government from the day they started. They are often the only two being tutored with some older kids ( grade 6??) joining them for 2 hours on one day in the week. they are the only native English speaking kids in the village! being close to the school and in a house means all the kids know where we live. It was very hard at first and their loneliness was heartbreaking ( on top of your own isolation / guilt/ worries). But I sent them out often to play soccer, or go on their scooter and bikes which is safe in a village around the school area. Lots of the kids use it as their play area after school and all weekend. You don't get to meet mums often until your kids make connections unlike back home. So this is how they have formed the friendships and their language skills. They can't have conversations like back home so outside play is good because it's physical and doesn't require much in depth language. Because they all lunch at home they don't get normal lunch time play socialization here. A normal afternoon since about the 4th month is at least 4 or. 5 kids knocking on the door asking for the boys to come play at the school. Often different kids everyday. They are all free rangers here. I can give mine. a few franks ( or rappens) to go to the local beck / lolly shop by themselves where they always seem to run into other kids hanging out. Tonight they were out till 800 playing with water pistols from the school fountain with other kids, all speaking Swiss German. So perhaps full immersion might be a large village with a close commute? I agree not to get to hung up about keeping up with the system back home. reading English books each night on top on their homework might be enough given their exhaustion from living such a different life I see the life lessons of resilience, learning how to fit in, deal with being alone in a crowd, struggling to make connections with teachers and students for their entire day (when we can retreat indoors ) is enough. The maturity that comes from being an outsider to working their way in to be an insider will be the prize. if they are bright, they will easily catch up. I needed to adjust to that when i got here ( tiger mother could have been my autobiography) P.s. we just brought pencils with Australia stuff on them on their first day. Kids loved them, parents and teachers pleased with our restraint as the new arrivals.

Thank you - this is a great anecdotal example. I know everyone's experiences are different, but I love your description. The free range attitude suits me beautifully. Thanks for the advice about bringing little gifts - that had occurred to me before, but it is just the kind of thing to slip through the cracks until we are already over there I will add it to my calendar right now! Thanks again.

My sister is hoping that her professor husband can do a sabbatical like yours, but the finances will definitely be a challenge if Switzerland is the destination.

I admire your willingness to bring only what you can get onto the plane with you. But I wonder if you could also send some boxes of things ahead, especially clothes, using some slow service that doesn't break your budget? I'm not sure, but I think you aren't supposed to send new things, and I read on here that you are only allowed to bring 2 months of medications, so you'd need to figure out the rules. If you want to send some boxes and don’t feel comfortable asking your university contact, I'd be happy to receive and keep boxes for you until you arrive. Feel free to contact me for my address if you decide you want to do that.

You've already read about how expensive Switzerland is. Some of the threads another poster recommended on living frugally in Switzerland show that it is possible to live frugally here. I haven’t managed it, but there are a number of reasons for that which do not apply to you.

Something that will apply to you. I made an expensive mistake early on and hope I can save you from the same-- be aware that you probably can't return things and get your money back. I was used to going shopping on my own to pick out clothes for the kids (or ordering them on the internet) and then having them try the clothes on and I’d just return whatever didn't fit, money back. Here, no. A fair number of stores won't take things back at all (unless it's something under warranty and you can show that it is defective), and at the nicer places you will only get store credit. Even if you bought it yesterday, the tags are still on, and you have your receipt, the best outcome is store credit.

My expensive mistake was to buy a necklace at a jewelry store (at a chain that you see everywhere here) as a thank you for our long-term babysitter who had helped us to move and was leaving us that night. The stone fell out of the necklace as I was wrapping it at home. The next day, I tried to return it, not expecting any difficulty. The store asked me very suspiciously if I’d showered with the necklace. No, it was to be a gift. (But also, it was the kind of necklace one wears every day and doesn’t remove for showers.) The employee grudgingly said that she could ask her manager after lunch if the store would agree to repair it for free, or exchange it for another of the same. I explained that it was supposed to be a gift for a visitor who was now gone, and I had no use for the necklace. It was defective, purchased just a day ago and never worn, so I’d like a refund to my credit card. She said no. I thought surely the problem was language, and all it would take would be for our bilingual relocation agent to call and explain on the phone. The next day, I explained the situation to the relocation agent, but she did not see things my way.

In Switzerland, she said, you must decide beforehand if you want the item or not, and you can’t change your mind. I hadn’t changed my mind!—the product was defective and because it was broken I couldn’t give it as a gift at the time I needed the gift. She suggested I could get the store to repair it and then I could give it to someone else in the future but she didn’t think the store would take it back (nor, her manner suggested, did she really see why the store should take it back). I said I’d lost confidence in the brand and the store—how good could the necklace be when the stone fell out before even being worn? What if it fell out again but not right into my hand and was lost? If the store wasn’t going to stand behind its merchandise, I didn’t want to shop there. And I didn’t want to keep an expensive item, bought specifically for a particular individual, just in case I thought of someone I could re-gift it to. She was unmoved. I was stuck with the necklace.

If you are at a shoe store and they ask if you want to take the box the shoes come in, say yes if you might want to exchange the shoes. You can “return” shoes for store credit or an exchange only if you have the box.

The exception seems to be www.Zalando.ch where you can shop on line, get things delivered, try them on and return them. It is a bit pricey, but no hassles.

Places you can check on line to help you decide what to bring and what to buy here (perhaps others can add what they’ve learned from shopping in Germany or France):

A popular on-line clothing store for kids’ stuff: www.verbaudet.com . And www.Zalando.ch

The department store in Fribourg is Manor: http://www.manor.ch/fr/

The two major full-service grocery stores here are Coop and Migros. Coop on-line: http://www.coopathome.ch/home-page-d-accueil/C/fr .

Migros on-line: https://www.leshop.ch/leshop/Main.do...Menu=SHOP_MAIN

You can find a fair number of things cheaper at Aldi, but the variety of the selection and the prices vary week to week. https://www.aldi-suisse.ch/fr/page-daccueil/ .

Jumbo is the local equivalent of Loews/ Home Depot: http://www.jumbo.ch/fr/home.html

Fribourg is not very convenient to any IKEA.

A major pharmacy here is Sun Store: https://www.sunstore.ch/fr/sitemap/

You might take a look at, for instance, prices of sunscreens and other things your family uses regularly. I can’t find the over-the-counter medications section on this site, but I have been charged about 1CHF per 100-mg tablet of Ibuprofen (it came in a little 10-pack, not a bottle). Also, if your kids use allergy medicine, be aware that many of the medicines available over the counter in the U.S. have not yet been approved for kids here and may not be available.

On the subject of clothes needed and not needed, I agree that Fribourg weather is pretty much like Michigan but with milder winters. But I order the kids’ clothes way, way ahead, and it hasn’t worked out that well, possibly because the weather for the last 2 years has been unusual (or so I have been told). The winters weren’t bad, but the fairly-cold late-winter and early-spring weather lasted much longer than I expected, and the summers were quite cool. So I got caught short on sweaters/sweatshirts/thick long-sleeved shirts (the kids outgrew what I had for the winter before the weather got warm enough not to need them) and had a lot of shorts and t-shirts that the girls never would have worn here (we went back to the U.S. where it was baking hot and they did wear them there). Also the weather for much of the year is really changeable--you leave the house in bright, warm sun, thinking summer has arrived, and an hour later at a playground that gets some wind, the sun is gone, and you want your winter coat. People from Fribourg say there is almost never an evening in summer when they don't need a jacket.

Just so you’re mentally prepared, eating at restaurants, no matter how humble your tastes, is budget-breaking. So you'll want to be prepared to cook everything at home. (By the way, I've never found measuring spoons here. You can find measuring cups that have markings for lots of different systems, but I haven't found spoons.) If you have a choice of a fully-furnished apartment complete with kitchenware, place a high premium on it because all the basics are expensive to purchase.

Also, you probably know it is difficult for Americans to get bank accounts in Switzerland? It keeps changing, and varies from one bank to another. Maybe your university contact has advice for you. A fair number of stores don’t take credit cards, so it is great to have a “Maestro” card, which is basically an ATM card (you need a bank account to get one). Something you could do now if you haven’t already is to check if your current credit cards have “smart chips”. Without a “smart chip,” a credit card is pretty useless here and in much of the rest of Europe (apparently only America is currently satisfied with the magnetic-strip technology). Before we moved, I contacted my credit card companies to get cards that had “smart chips”. At that time, to get ones with smart chips, I had to “upgrade” to one of the annual-fee and “rewards” types of cards.

Finally, regarding Fribourg fashion. I took a look at the kids at one of the primary schools in Fribourg this week, and just around town. I only saw two boys in sweat pants (in both cases, they were wearing sweat pants with matching zip-up sweat jacket). The other kids looked just as casual, in my opinion, but all the others were wearing jeans or tannish or greyish denim. None of the older boys were wearing noticeably neater/dressier clothes—absolutely no one was wearing “chinos”, for instance. They all looked like sloppy American kids to me.

And, also, if you want to contact me when you arrive, or pick a school system, I would be happy to try to help you make a few connections. I hope you get an apartment with lots of kids around. The Swiss seem very family-oriented and would probably feel sorry for a child living far from home and family the way you were when you were 13. You might not be inclined to play the "pity" card, but worrying is a bonding thing here! The Swiss I have met are likely to be welcoming / helpful if they are sure that help is wanted. Maybe don’t try too hard to “keep a stiff upper lip” and put a brave face on things if things are not going well. "Complaining" and "worrying" are different. Feel free to worry out loud about your kids—the Swiss parents I’ve met worry a lot about their kids too. Wonder aloud whether your kids will be able to make friends because a year is a long time for kids to have no friends. Hope out loud that your kids will maintain ties with the kids they meet here in this special year, as you have (hopefully) done with the people you met long ago in France. If you can move the conversation that way when you meet your neighbors, it might help a lot. I think the Swiss may assume that newcomers want to be left alone, unless it is clear that newcomers don’t want to be left alone. (But it is a fine line because people here don’t want to be forced to socialize either, so you wouldn’t want to seem too forceful.)

Too long, rambling now! Best of luck, and the door is open if you want anything.

Thank you so much. Lots of useful information! I really appreciate you taking the time to help me. I like when people learn from my experiences, so I know where you are coming from

Funny about the measuring spoons - I just bought some light plastic ones the other day to bring with me. We are preparing to eat at home almost all the time; we do that here mostly too, but we are planning even more so there (and mentally preparing the kids for this too). Once visas and renting our own house out here get more settled, I will start to comb through the money-saving tips more thoroughly. My husband will draw his regular salary from his university here, and we have savings that we know we will be digging into.

Re: your sister and her husband, depending on their timing, this would be a great time to go to a Euro-based country (obviously). However, his language skills and his sabbatical goals affect where they should go (also obvious). When we briefly flirted with the idea of switching to France, we were delighted by the financial prospects but rejected the idea based on my husband's lack of French fluency and established professional contacts there.

Anyway, thank you... I may be in touch! You've been very helpful in several posts. Much appreciated.