Any replies from Aussies from Ch who found themselves there in similar circumstances, please tell us it's possible!!
Hi all, looking for some help to change my partners mind! She is Swiss. We met in Oz and fell in love. We spent six months apart as she went back home to prepare to come back. After 1.5 years living together in Oz we applied for defacto visa, however she left Oz very homesick just two weeks before it was approved. We were not able to recieve the visa without her being in the country. We planned to cath up again in Dec this year, I would go to her in CH. Now after six months apart again she has decided she would not like to return to Oz. This was my preference, for us to live in Oz, I am older than her, and run a business here. Since I may also be eligible for CH citizenship,as my father is Swiss, I decided to follow my heart and leave everything in Oz to be with her. She seems to feel that, knowing our way of life in Perth, W.A, I would not find happiness in Switzerland! I have been there twice, love the country, culture, food, speak basic, broken German, but have a real desire to give it a go.
I think if her homesickness outweighs her need to be with you, then that's a sign that it won't work out....
But maybe you come and holiday over here, and see how you feel about it...
It's definitely a very different lifestyle...giving up a business to follow your heart is a pretty big step, and finding a job to replace your work in Oz could also be very difficult - I'd start the job hunting and visa process now, and then you can make a decision later if something seems to fall into place...
Yes.. I agree with Swisspea.. it really does seem that way.
She doesn't want to return, she left before anything became too real and concrete and doesn't think you'd be happy in CH.
Perhaps she needs some time.
Nevertheless, that's a rather precarious situation on which to base such an important decision. Why not come here first and spend some time ?
Perhaps you should keep your business and life back home and take it just a step at a time.
Hello. Well I'm from Australia and have been here for 16 years now. From the age of 46. Met my Swiss wife in India. She became pregnant and we moved to Switzerland. I had no commitments in Australia so for me it was fairly easy decision. But I must admit the first few years were not so easy-language,job etc.
The lifestyle here is not much different to Australia. Its more the size of Switzerland that gets to you sometimes. Australia is just SPACE!
Homesickness can be a problem but love should be stronger. Home is really where the heart is!
One advice: Even if Switzerland has no ocean and no "seaside" to offer, you when coming over, should chose a domicile at or near a more or less sizeable lake. So, do not go to Olten and not even to beautiful Schaffhausen, but take Geneva, Lausanne, Neuchâtel, Biel, Lugano, Luzern, Zug or Zürich. Zürich has an astonishingly sizeable Australian community, again of course not a "replacement" for a sizeable Australian city, but still something.
Yes, if the business goes well, I would not sell it but stay as owner but appoint a local manager. You might in the end establish a similar thing here and connect the two companies. Speak with a good lawyer and have one base in WA, one in Zurich, and the "official" head office in Zug or Vaduz
Dude! Your Gf left you! WTF. People here are riciculously uptight. I am going back to N America. You have to make an appointment with your friends weeks in advance to see them! And... get this! When you bring wine over when you are invited for dinner... they put the wine away and then serve you the cheap wine! This has happened to me on several occasions! WTF! Just ead the stuff here about bosses throwing temper tantrums, or whatever. This place is for little children. they move into the floor upstairs from their parents! How often do you want to hang out with grandma? Every day? And gossip over some silly news? This place is like a prison man! break free!
Go back to OZ where people are fun and spontaneous!
You are in a misunderstanding about the wine. The wine you bring over is generally seen as a kind of present and so put into the cellar to improve. It is a difference if it is really hot outside and the prepared wine a relatively heavy red, and you bring with you a pleasurable Rosé. Then it might be decided to take your wine first. So that it is not a matter of "cheap" or expensive. I in fact never bring expensive wine with me as this might be taken as a gesture that the one around would be below my level.
And appointments ? I do not have friends who expect me to advise my coming weeks ahead. But to contact folks days before might be wise, as they otherwise might be out, or already have guests, or are on short holidays.
And grandma ? The one on my mother-side would still be modern-minded right today. We always enjoyed holidays with her. And most of all when Mum was away and Grandma and my brother and me were together ! It was never boring. On our last time with her, my brother and me (and nobody else) realized that G. knew that she had a deadly form of cancer (deadly then of course, not now) and it only was found out later that she, in order to enjoy the time, kept herself in shape with heavy doses of medicaments. No, she was in reality more modern than her daughter Reality however is that few people even are in the neighbourhood of their grandparents.
And finally "Go Back" ? As I read it, the thread-opener right now still is in Australia. That his GF and him possibly are no longer too close might even make it possible for him to make up tent here but go back for months to care for business overthere.
Sorry mate, I think she is using it as an excuse for saying that she doesn't want to be with you anymore, without "hurting your feelings"...
Girlfriend leaves 2 months before she knows she will get a Visa, then suggests you don't follow her? Seems to me there is something a little mroe than homesickness involved.
Don't leave your business. She couldn't adjust to life in WA and there's a good reason for that, the 2 places are almost as far apart culturally as they are geographically so unless there's an extremely strong bond between the 2 persons, stronger than anything else including homesickness, it won't work out easily. Chances you'd live to regret it are high.
Yes I have been through it.
The major difference was that I did not have a business holding me in Australia but I do have close parents, friends and had a good job. My wife and I met in Australia. I followed her to CH to ask her to marry me. We then returned to Australia and lived there for several years but always the tug to come back and live in Europe pulled her and I back. Switzerland is a wonderful place to spend with family and children, and work is excellent, but it has its challenges.
One of the many things you should consider are:
1. What other ties have you got in Australia? Are they also important enough to keep you there?
2. Do you have the skills to land on your feet in Switzerland work wise? Trust me, it is not easy getting by here if you do not have appropriate skills. I have managed to do so with only moderate German, but the challenge is there. You have run a business but it can depend in what industry. Business is quite different here than in Aus.
3. As others have said, is she really committed to the relationship? If in your heart she is and you are too then you have answered this question.
Feel free to PM me if you want any real details, happy to share. For me I took the plunge for love but had 100 % faith in the relationship. Your cirecumstances will be very different and there is a lot to think about. Good luck.
Although I am not an Aussie, I'll risk it! Try it, arrange with your business to have a local manager who could be your front man on the ground and you can help run things from SZ (if indeed possible) for a period of time. You have lived together before in OZ, try living here and see if it still works. But probably better not to cut all ties with OZ (work/etc) until you are certain that the girl knows what she wants (i.e. a life with you). Worst case - you will never wonder whether it could have worked if you did move.
me and my wife are aussie, we moved over, but we always held onto a way back.
i think you seriously need a plan B, its not becuase you think the relationship will fail or you wont settle, its just a massive weight off your shoulders,
i had been to CH twice before we moved, i loved it too, trains that are actually on time, snow like you wouldnt believe and central europe....
but when i got to live here its the little things that started to get to me.
all the little things you take for granted are different, i read alot but still living it is on another level then reading about it.
if you think she is worht the shot and you believe her heart is in the right place then why not, but i would still have the plan B.
BTW, our familiy really are starting to enjoy it here, and if the family was closer (oz really is the other side of the world) we would probably stay.
good luck either way
Hey - have read your post. I think it's a bad idea for you to move here. The girl seems to have had a change of heart, and maybe the truth will hurt but it's better in the long run if you face it now. She doesn't seem to be pining to be with you. I'm sorry, we've all been there though....stay in sunny Australia with your business and meet someone else. I don't want to sound harsh...this is kind of 'cruel to be kind' advice.
If she doesn't want you to come here, and she doesn't want to go there.....well, it says it all. I hope I didn't offend you or anything, but I really think it's for the best that you don't give up everything for this relationship. Like someone else said, I honestly think you'll live to regret it. You'll be trapped here in Switzerland with a girl who isn't as into you as you are into her, when you step outside to get groceries, all you'll hear is people talking in swiss german. Switzerland is definitely not my choice of Country, I only live here because of my other half. And I don't think you should risk it, sorry.
Mate,
Another Aussie here...... Don't follow a Swiss miss without a back up plan.
a. She couldn't stick out the 6 months in Oz
b. The amount of times I hear from people who follow the Swiss home to find them "A different person" is overwhelming
c. Switzerland is harder to live in than you think, so you'll need more than love to move here.
I don't mean to throw this at you like a sledge hammer, but I'd suggest you take a step back and look at this from outside the square. Don't let your feelings blind you.
FYI - I moved to Sydney because I followed a chick (big mistake). I moved to Switzerland because I didn't have one, and had nothing to lose.
Don't screw up your business...... If she loves you back, she may just need some time. Just pop over for a visit to test the water.
If however, you do realise that a move here is the go....... just know that there is a hell network of Aussies around to help you out. Switzerland will turn your head inside out for the first 6 months, but then.... it's actually pretty good.
Flick through the search function on this forum and check out similar stories.
All being said....... I seriously wish you all the luck in the world.
Don't do it. She doesn't want to live in Australia and, for one reason or another, is suggesting you not come. Best case scenario, she's simply trying to save you from yourself out of the goodness of her heart and hates Australia that much. Worst case scenario... you may be in for a nasty surprise when you arrive. Either way, the writing's on the wall.
Yeah, I still say "Hope for the Best, Prepare for the worst".
Besides, if you love this chick you'll need some sort of closure all the same, not just some rambled crap written by all of us who live in 'Die Schweiz'.
I'd recommend, that you get over this chick right now, prepare yourself mentally..... Pack your bags for a visit (only).... have a good time and keep your eyes open for the obvious.
We maybe wrong, but the odds are not stacked in your favour.
Again, good luck with it all the same
P.S. I don't think it's because she hates Australia........ The Swiss get homesick when they cross the street. I'm always hearing "Oh, Australia is so far away", or "I could never go there"..... Jesus wept people, it's only the other side of the world, not the universe.
You can't make someone love you.
Sorry to be blunt, but that is what I do, from one Aussie to another.
She is perhaps wiser than you. Listen well to her opinions. For some, such as myself, it is lovely here. However, your sole reason for wanting to be here is her. My reasons are different, and I came with a willing partner and family who were also foreigners. In years to come you will miss your fine Australian way of life, the open, friendly mentality, the weather, your own language, culture and customs. You'll still love her, but life will acquire a bitter tang that will probably affect the relationship one day. Unless you bring some very specific skill or are a very influential person, you will get tired of answering polite enquiries about your background that end in condescending remarks designed to let you know that Australia cannot possibly compare with Switzerland. Your lack of German (and more importantly Swiss-German, which is generally unintelligable to non-German speaking foreigners who learn German) will mean that as the partner of a Swiss woman you will be constantly exposed to social situations where at least 50% of the conversation is going over your head, and you are reliant on your spouse or someone elses goodwill to keep you within the circle. If you are a self-employed businessman you are probably used to being completely informed and self-sufficient. Nowhere is this more noticeable than when it lacks even within your private life. I've seen it lead to misery here with Swiss/Foreign marriages.
This sounds terribly negative, for which I apologise. It's not supposed to. I just wish to give you the best possible advice I can, based on my experience here. This is a life-changing decision for you, after all. Of course, if you have the right kind of character and attitude, you could enjoy life over here immensely. Many Australians and other English-speaking nationalities do, despite certain negative aspects. I do wonder though, what exactly made your partner so homesick that she eventually simply had to return to her native country? Would this not eventually apply to you too?
Regards,
Shaka.