Best/worst chat up lines (and stories of the night)

Daily Life, Swiss News and General Topics
1
Yeap its one of those days again

You are in a pub/club/whatever and a member of the opposite sex (or same sex, we are not discriminating!) comes to you and... what he/she says thats worth mentioning?

Or, do you have any "interesting" incidents that happened in a night out? Someone cant take no for an answer for example and you have to call security.

Come on its Sunday, the weather is c***. Give us a laugh.

2
Got stuck in a window seat on a business trip one day, with a gent who asked me to marry him and become his "white queen" and go back to live in Africa with him.

He was capitivated by my hair.

My.... twas a very long trip from London to San Fransisco

3
"I have a big car"

4
Some guy was trying to hit on my sister, the not taking no for an answer type. She was getting quite annoyed and finally told him flat out that "Don't you understand, I'm not interested!". To which the guy replied, totally baffled: " Not interested?? How? But I'm so beautiful!!"

My favourite - nightclub, talking with a man and he says: "Well, my wife is pregnant and in the hospital as there is something wrong with the baby." I'm about to say how sorry I am to hear this, when he continues "So that means my house is free, want to come over for the night?"

5
Me: 'Are you sore?'

It: 'Excuse me?'

Me: 'Did it not hurt falling down from heaven?'

It:

6
Awesome, what happened next??

7
No WAY???!!!!! Is that true?

what was the reply?

8
i like it!

for the next boys night out, i think we will have a bad chat-up line competition so would be good to hear more of the really bad/cheesy ones.

some to start you off:

"hey baby, what's your sign?"

I personally really hate these ones:

"Did it hurt?...When you fell out of heaven?"

"Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night."

9
I know a guy who chats up chicks with normal conversation, then simply says,"I want to see your p***y". The crazy thing is it works quite well .

Another friend was being chatted up by a woman in a hotel bar. He checked the time on a small pocket watch he carried- woman asks to see the watch... watch disappears between her legs. He turned down the invitation to find it up in her room .

10
One that worked many times for a colleague - "do you do 'owt." The physicist, Richard Feynman, found that by being direct, not buying drinks, he was generally successful. He stopped doing after a while, as he found that it was lower his own self-worth.

11
unfortunately yes. I cannot write what I told him, it would be censored anyway.

Something similar - my leaving party at the previous office just before I moved. A big client was also there and after a few drinks he started telling me how he fancied me and what exactly he was thinking about during our meetings (a good looking guy, but still, TMI ) His pick up line was "Well, I won't leave my wife, but of course I cheat on her.."

12
His name wasn't Dimitri, was it?

This guy hit on a girl, she wasn't interested but he was very insistant, so to get rid of him she gave him her business card, the following are two messages he left on her answering machine, she sent them in to a Canadian radio... enjoy!!

13
Actually, I have the best one, ever.

"I have a diploma in toilet bowl cleaning." It worked. It was delivered with that proper manly smirk, it was charming, honest and made me laugh. I married that guy.

14
My god......what do you do to attract such men??

15
Wow...Mrs T, you just made my day, I laughed so hard I couldn't even drink my coffee, hahaaaa. What a freak.

16
that's so funny. i've never seen TV infomercial techniques being applied to chatting up girls before. the guy was probably a telesales rep trying to 'close the deal'.

17
Oh thank you, that was brilliant !

18

19
"Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to walk by again?"

20
"help me! the CIA is looking for my penis, do you know somewhere I could hide it?"