Bullying in School

Daily Life, Swiss News and General Topics
1
Hi all

I read the following statement from tooki and now have some questions.

Was it a problem at your school? How was your school like (big/small, in town/countryside, public/private etc). What was the reason to tease a kid? (their appeareance / no money / physical hanidcaps / speech disorders)

What do you think of swiss schools? (Do you have own experience, or kids, whats the diffrence to other schools).

I am asking all this, because I never had such problems at school. I grew up in Switzerland, and went to public schools. (Currently studying biology in Zurich, 7th semester)

My primary school was in a town of 10'000 inhabitants, there were about 4-5 grades of each schoolyear, so middle sized. I got bullied sometimes, but never more than calling me names. I never got physically attacked. Sometimes I felt bad because other kids were mean to me, but I was never alone. There always were groups against each other. Me, together with some others, also teased sometimes the complete outsider girl (she was muslim, hardly spoke any german, couldn't swim), but I think we were still nice in a way when she really needed help. And also she was never alone, always had a friend at her side that supported her (It was like we changed sides from victim to villain and back very fast)

That means I was on both sides. I don't think I had a hard time in school.

As I went to the secondary and high School, Kantonsschule Zug, things didn't change much. Again there were 2 outsiders in my grade (not me), but we let them live.

And we always were really nice to apparently disabled people. The only problem one could get in that school is when behaving extremely strange or not social. Such people get segregated, but still not bullied.

The two outsiders became 'normal' after some time, that means nobody was avoiding sitting next to them, we were all having lunch together...

And I also couldn't see much bullying in other grades. I actually really enjoyed my 4-5 last school years.

Teachers never were a big help. They never interrupted or corrected bad behaviour. But that could be because of the 'passiv aggressive' way of the swiss, there just was nothing to see from outside.

If you have questions about schoollife in switzerland, I know how it works, I survived it

Btw: How I as native swiss got to this forum: I was really bored and typed in 'boring' in google, and ended on a 100 pages containing thread about how boring Switzerland is.

Btw2: for everyone who needs occasional translations (as I do), www.leo.org is my favourite site.

2
Welcome to the Forum Odi, that is a very informative first post!

The son of my girl friend was about 12 when he was attacked near his home by four classmates. They knocked him down and then urinated on him!

My girl friend (Naturalised Swiss) went to all four parents and asked for an apology. Only one gave an apology, the other three said sorry and quickly closed the door on her.

Not exactly at school, but school related.

3
I was deliberately pushed/bumped into and harassed by a group of about 10 Swiss youths while walking in the downtown arcades of Bern with my boyfriend at about 9 p.m. on a Saturday about a year ago. The reason given for the harassment: "You are foreigners, we are Swiss". Does that count as bullying?

4
I'm afraid that some people, almost anywhere in the world, bully foreigners or people who are somehow different. It is not just a Swiss thing, sadly.

Hi Odi and welcome I'm Odile and also Swiss (but I lived in England most of my adult life).

5
Well I came to the US when I was 6, and immediately started

first grade. Perhaps I was different, being the very quiet and

passive type. I was constantly teased, bullied, spit on, rocks

thrown at, jumped, fights, etc. I some how lasted till 9th grade

and dropped out of school. The school rarely punished the

tormenters, and when they did, they always got their revenge.

And when I did hit back, the school suspended me from school

for a day. And eventually I became truant, refusing to go to

school, and the school board was all upset that I am ruining their

attendance record statistics. My family situation at home wasn't

any brighter.

6
why didn't she report them to the police? knocking down and pushing around maybe not, but urinating on the kid is definitely crossing the line. also if you don't want to report them to the police, where's the husband to go around to their fathers and demand an apology or face some street justice of their own?

7
Possibly because it is very likely to make things worse?!

8
I cannot recall it but I suppose I used to be bullied at primary school just like everyone else did ...

Dunno but my experience in Switzerland is that a vast majority of teenagers get red-bulled on the train. That's a mandatory condition to last allnight long in the night club

9
It always astonishes and appals me how inventively cruel children can be.

And I'm pretty sure it's a worldwide phenomenon.

Here in NZ we recently had news coverage about a 13 year old girl who was beaten so severely by four other girls she now has a brain injury. As far as I could tell there were no serious consequences for her attackers. I think the principal said that if they did it again they might be expelled.

10
Well, I endured a pretty dreadful six years at a crappy comprehensive school in the English Midlands.

Fortunately, all that ended a very long time ago. Why dwell on the past?

I bet those miserable oiks who made my life a misery every break time, lunch time and waiting-for-the-bus time don't get to look at snowclad mountains when they sit down to their nasty plastic ready-meals with their nasty painted "partners" in their nasty double-glazed terraced houses in that nasty plywood-shuttered town which they almost certainly never left.

The thought of that cheers me up no end.

[](https://www.englishforum.ch/attachments/general-off-topic/24684d1300217158-bullying-school-miserable-midlands-town.jpg)

11
So true, I have exactly the same sentiment.

12
These monstrous six foot intimidating kids who made me cringing and choking for breath some time ago, those who ridiculed me in front of everyone in a class room. Especially that little girl, a secret love of mine whom I cherished with innocent boy's feeling and she was so close to my heart. She saw me with face looking down helpless and destined to wrath of these teenage butchers. I hope she knows that I'm standing now on top of the alpine peaks and from top of the world I can look down at them - you lowlives who never left their gloomy district. They are blue, their mood is blue and they live in blue houses too. Didadidadida, didida!

13
Teenagers are the worst - correction: teenage girls.

I came from an all-girls school and always loved my own company rather than having a big group of friends. That, with my Type A personality and insane need to overachieve meant that I was captain of my school's squash team, national youth team, president of the music club - plus I had a boyfriend from a posh school nearby

My lockers were always vandalised, rude/threatening notes ("careful walking home today!") were slipped in, childish giggles whenever I walked past, and spectacular rumours like I was pregnant rang through the halls. This went on for almost two years. I didnt mind as I had my own little group of friends (just two other girls actually - whom I am still very firm friends with till today) but it was annoying. I was told to be the "bigger person" but it only got worse. It all stopped one day when I got waylaid in the toilets by that same group of girls. I would have been beaten to a pulp if not for the fact that I grabbed one of the girls' ponytail and dunked her head into the bog.

Earned me a week's detention as one of them got scared that I was going to drown her dear friend (oh purlease) and ran for the head mistress - but I was left pretty much alone after that.

Moral of the story? Bullies are cowards - insecure and angry cowards who thrive in a group. Fight back. Hard. You'll be amazed at how fast they run off with tails between their useless legs.

And thats the message that I will drum into my kids from Day 1 - together with: "do not be afraid to use the bog as a tool"

PS: willkommen odi!!!

14
Hmmm... might work with some bullies, but not the big burly buggers with whom I had to share the school corridors and playground.

I learnt pretty quickly that endurance was the only solution. Fighting back invariably led to more pain...

15
We had bullying here in my small town .... about 4,000 inhabitants ..... but sorted it out pretty quickly.

Phoned the teacher of the boys, who had cornered the two little girls and attempted to pull their leggings (and panties) down (! ..all about the ages of 9yrs old!). The teacher arrived at our house and took their statements.

Their father sent a letter to the Head of the School (president or whatever he is called) threatening that if this EVER happened again, he would call in the Polizei to deal with it. Bearing in mind that this same age group would grow up and be going on School Ski holidays together .. it needed sorting out at ground level!

We never had any more problems. Seems to me that parents have to be vigilant, and very assertive about abusive types of behaviour, so it can be nipped in the bud, before being allowed to blossom into full ... whatever?

Kids need to be shown BOUNDARIES!

16
I agree and I would wanna start from here: http://www.pinkshirtday.ca/2011/02/1...inst-bullying/

Just watch the YouTube - message and lingo is quite funny

17
This always has a 101% success rate with me.

18
Youtube blocked the video, so here's an animated GIF version:

19
Hi odi and welcome to the forum.

That's hysterical!

I can admit having my days of blues every now and then (and we all do), but in general I love it here.

Re your topic, it's definitely a global thing. I remember from my child school that there was a mentally disabled girl who was put in our class instead of school for children with special needs. And the poor girl sure got it all.

I wish I could say I was the brave kid who defended her, but I was just a normal kid - frighten that if I would stand up for her I would be treated the same. So instead I closed my ears, eyes and mouth. I did feel for her though and we often hung out after school. Sometimes I apologized for my poor friendship and not standing up for her, and she always replied the same way: "That's okay, you don't have to worry about me, I'm used to this."

Yep, this still is a sting in my heart. Brave girl.

I don't know if this problem is ever to be fixed, but it would be nice if parents would inform their children and support them to stand up for bullied kids. Or at least, teach them that it is okay to tell the adults when something is not right.

Then again, we also have adults as bullies, don't we?

20
OK - but what happens next day, next time? Knives? It could all go away - or gets much much worse.

Bullying is such a complex issue - and as a mum, grand-mother and experienced teacher - i still do not have the answer. Probably there is no '1 answer fits all'.

I liked the UK Form Tutor concept - where all students in secondary schools had at least 1 teacher they saw twice a day, and who would be accessible as the 'special' person to help and support in times of difficulty of one kind or other. This sadly does not exist here.