Yesterday while walking the dogs we met one of my neighbours walking her babies (twins in stroller) with her two older kids alongside. I will call her mom 1. She had a friend with her, also walking with her kids. (I will call her mom 2). We had just approached a corner and I stopped to let them pass. The dogs tails wagged as they know the older kids who belong to the mom 1. All dogs were on a leash. The oldest boy (I think he is 5) stroked each of the dogs. His mom kept walking ahead. I know him well and the dogs do too...everything was fine. Then mom 2 looks back, turns to mom 1 and says something to the effect of, "you let him touch the dogs"? Mom 1 said, the dogs are not a problem. Mom 2 still had to have the last word, staring at me, "well I would never let my children touch dogs and it is wrong for the owner to let them".
I know the boy, he adores the dogs, he knows their names, their ages. He is not in any danger, and neither are the dogs. Am I wrong to let him stroke the dogs?
Then just as we return to our house we meet another neighbour with her young daughter who is afraid to walk because of the dogs. But I know this girl and she never reacted this way before. Then the mom told me on the weekend she was terrorized by a dog off leash. That girl will probably never stroke a dog again....
Uusally I walk in the forest but the forester told me there is major tree cutting going on and at the moment it is dangerous...and noisy.
I can't avoid kids walking locally...and they are not a problem for me or the dogs who are on a leash at all times. The dogs love children, they are good with them, completely trustworthy. But is it wrong to let kids stroke the dogs? They ask, I make sure they know how (most already know). What can be the harm?
i wonder if said mum objected out of health reasons rather than the friendliness of the dogs.
my mums family take hygiene quite seriously and would never have let my siblings or i handle dogs or cats. i had a pet rabbit , but had to boil my hands for five minutes after feeding the poor thing. or maybe she is just worried about injury ....who knows ?
i guess its just one of those strange things and i certainly wouldnt take it personally.
Well, I think if you do not want children to touch dogs then you should take care of that yourself. The only reason why I ever would not let someone stroke my dog is if my dog is unpredictable and/or aggresive. Of course then I would take him out with a muzzle...been a long time since I have a dog though
Plus, why the selfrighteousness? It is so annoying
I think parents need to be extra careful with their kids around dogs they don't know. I am a dog lover and former dog owner but would never let my son stroke a dog we didn't know purely because, despite me drilling it into him, I cannot guarantee that my son won't poke, pinch or pull ears or tails which might provoke a reaction in the dog.
Having said that I believe the responsibility is 50/50. Dog owners need to be aware as much as parents.
I never make a big thing about it with my son because I don't want to sow a seed of mistrust between him and dogs. I want him to love and appreciate (and respect) dogs as he grows up. If we approach a dog in the street we always talk about it as a "nice doggy out with his mummy/daddy" and if he shows signs he is going to stick his hand out to it or run over to it, I just tell him he has to be careful because the dog might be tired or hot or hungry and might not want to play.
I think the reaction of the mum you met was wrong. Now her kids are going to be wondering what is so wrong with dogs and getting to know them.
I understand your point, but I think that mothers can worry too much sometimes. I know a group of mothers that are friends of mine that let the kids even eat something that fell to the floor (in their homes of course!!! ), first I thought it was weird at first and then my friend told me well, they have to build up immunity .
It all depends on the dog's temperament and whether the kid knows how to stroke a dog. Nothing wrong with it with a bit of common sense all round. I certainly wouldn't feel uncomfortable taking your dogs for a walk in the street or letting kids stroke them if they're well behaved and you have them under control (both dogs and kids ). I wouldn't knock the woman too much. Maybe she wasn't allowed to stroke dogs when she was young? Lots of people are anxious around dogs. I agree with Sandgrounder too - it's good to teach kids to be careful around dogs they don't know.
We had those last years a few people attacked by not leashed dogs. Even some were deadly hurt. It certainly added to that fear of dogs that parents have for their children.
Now it's up to the dogs owner to keep their dogs near them when they cross other people.
(even if I absolutely love to see a dog coming to me to be hugged... )
As a mother of two young children and someone who has never owned a dog, I can say that I would not find dogs completely trustworthy. Not because there is anything wrong with them or because I hate dogs, to the contrary, it is because dogs and humans are different species and there could easily be misunderstandings.
When I was very young, I think I was around 4, I was visiting some relatives with my parents. Their dog started to bark fiercly, then suddenly jumped on my chest and brought me to the ground. The owners took him away before anything more serious happened. They later explained that he was uncomfrotable around children because local children abused him.
I still have anxiety attacks around certain dogs. If they are very friendly and if I know the owners well, I am OK around them, otherwise I stay away from them. You can tell that I treat dogs the same way I would treat people.
I instruct my children to be careful around dogs and I ask them not to touch them unless the owner says it is OK.
My sister got a golden retriever recently and when I spent a few days with them I got used to having a dog around. I even started thinking about getting one at some point.
There is a lovely labrador living next door. I have become more relaxed around him after having some time with my sister's retriever. I noticed that the owner, who has no children, has become much more friendly since I started paying more attention to the dog, asking questions and stroking him. Dog-owners and parents -- we are quite similar after all.
Not all dogs are friendly and I think it is always best that parents explain the dangers of dogs to children. I am a experienced dog owner but about ten years back I was at a horse show and there was the most beautiful Border Collie sitting beside a fence as I walked passed he sniffed me and I put my hand out to stroke him and he nearly took my fingers off! It is something I have always been aware of ever since. My five year old son is obsessed with dogs and would go up to any dog he sees and stroke them. He loves dogs but I have told him he must never stroke a strange dog as they be protecting his owners etc. Instead I always tell him he must ask the owners if he can stroke the dog and must respect what the owners say. OP I am sure your dogs are trustworthy and lovely but do not take this personally maybe Mom 2 has had a bad experience. My daughter was 6 months old when whilst in her buggy a young puppy jumped up at her buggy to play with her and ever since then she has been weary of dogs! No dog is ever 100% trustworthy and no dog should ever be left alone with children.
I think the mother has a point. I think it is better for every one if the basic rule is not to touch dogs. If a child is to touch a dog I think it is something that should be mutually agreed between the owner and the parent. A child is not old enough to make the judgment if a dog is safe to pet or not. How is the child supposed to know if the dog owner is a responsible dog owner or not?
So in the situation as you describe it, in my view the correct approach would have been to first ask the mother if it was ok that the child pets the dog and only after that allow the child to do it.
Please respect that not everybody loves your little pets the way you do. Personally I have a very strong aversion to dogs (any dog) and I would like that to be respected by any dog owner, both for me and for my children. I may choose to let my children handle a dog but I want it to be my choice, not the choice of the owner of the dog.
Even friendly dogs can be dangerous because some, when they are stroked get excited & therefore could (especially if they are big dogs) knock children over or into roads.
Dogs have claws & rough tongues & smell each others backsides. Some dogs have other dogs wee on their heads because they like to sniff bushes where other dogs have also used them as toilets...... ....children usually like to stroke dogs on their heads.
I never allow children stroke my dog & if they ask I just tell them to ask their mum or dad & then if its OK I will allow it but only when my dog is sitting & I have my hand under his jaws. My dog is the nicest dog you could imagine but is still a dog.
It's funny, back in my day we had this old fashioned remedy to counteract the ill effects of dog germs from drool and spilled wee wee - it was called hand washing.
Could it be that the mother meant that the child should not be touching the dog without asking her first?
I am both dog owner and mom and what I am trying to teach my child is that she should first ask me or the owner if she can touch the dog. I think it is best that children do not run up and touch the dog without asking first.
I have had unbelievable situations where I live:
1) I was told off by a teacher of the local "Hort" (who was not supervising children) for walking my dog near them (on a public place) Told her off right back and to keep the children somewhere else as it is public (and of course my dog is ALWAYS on the leash and a short one at that)
2) One little girl of about 3 walked up with her baby sister of about 1 instructing her to touch the dog. The fater was a few meters away and chatting and did nothing to stop this
There are people out there who didn't grow up with animals when they were kids, and as such, don't see animals the same way us dog owners do. They probably don't get that their kid wants to pet the dog, so just keep walking and ignoring.
I have a big dog, and there are tons of kids where I live. Some of them are afraid of her, so I keep her close to my side and we keep walking, and other kids want to pet her. When they do, I ask her to sit and get down to their level and talk to them and encourage them to approach a dog in a safe way.
If there are parents out there who don't want their kids to touch dogs but aren't really paying attention to what their kids are doing, I need to be extra proactive to make sure that everything is OK. I have complete confidence in my dog that she would never do anything to hurt the child, I'm more worried about the child getting startled and getting scared and upset if she did something they were not expecting, like lick their hand, etc.
Don't let it bother you, some people just aren't animal lovers.
I see nothing wrong with what you did. You have an established relationship with your neighbor(mom1). If she is ok with HER children touching your dog, then it's none of Mom2 business. If mom2 doesn't want her children to touch your dogs then that's her choice, and she needs to be responsible for that. Mom2 has no right verbally attacking you or mom1. Her(mom2) responsibility is with her children and not trying to make other's handle a situation the way she would handle it.
Now, it would be a different story if your dogs were off leash and running up to strangers. Or, if you had forced your dogs upon mom2's children. But, from what I read, Mom1's children are the ones that stopped to pet your dogs.
As a dog owner I share you sentiments that there is no harm. I guess its up to the individuals and for every person that doesn't want to touch your dogs there will be one that does.
Just ignore it, you won't change people's mind no matter what you say, so in that respect there is no use in worrying about it. Leave the dog petting for those of us who believe that a dog is a man's best friend.
I have the opposite problem where I actually don't want people to touch my dog, but they just can't help it.
My main concern with kids and our dog is that kids don't just come running up to pet her. She behaves fine, and the most she will do is lick a face or hand, but I don't want kids to assume all dogs are like this. So if a child comes straight to the dog without asking me or talking to me first (or if their parent doesn't ask), I walk away with the dog.
Also, if they ask, it gives us time to put her in a lay-down position, for me to get down there with her, and have a safe, controlled meeting. It is also good for the parent to be doing some chaperoning of the child, too - especially for things like "pet her softly, no, don't pull the ears."
Mum2 overreacted. I would call her a jerk, actually - so illogical and annoying. Sheeeesh! Mrs Doolittle, you did nothing wrong. The matter was only between you and Mum1, so Mum2 was also being a busybody trying to impose her mistaken beliefs on both of you.
I would think it's mean and ungenerous not to allow a child to stroke a dog if his/her parent allows it and the child knows how to do it properly/safely.
Some mothers allow their children to crawl on the floor, ground and grass, pick up and eat dropped food - Mum2 might have something to say about that too, I bet. Or does she do that herself but thinks friendly dogs are a danger somehow?