Some are happy being miserable.. I've known a few.
Thing is, theres Happiness and there's Being Content. Happiness is having a "one niter" with a Really FIT girl and Being Content is being in a steady relationship/marriage with a nice and Pretty girl.
Being in a steady relationship with a Pretty girl and having "One niters" with some Fit girls occasionally is just HEAVEN
Happiness is Motion, Unhappiness is Gridlock.
When of course confronted with it they deny it and say they want to be happy, loved bla bla etc. But they willingly act contrary to their statements, and some are well aware of that.
Are women allowed to do something similar?
Are Men allowed then?
I know you are not a psychologist (are you?) but I find it an interesting subject Are there no resident psychologist on EF who could chip in too?
We are often set in our ways of behaving that we find difficult to break out of. Mostly we can't see it ourselves or at least cannot see a way out of it. Others can but they can't help because they 'cannot behave for us'. We ourselves have to take that painful, uncomfortable step -- and continue taking those steps if we want to help ourselves.
Sometimes people are just too lazy to make those difficult steps. Human nature.
P.S. Paging RustyGraben! Herr Graben, come in, please!
Ok you said something like having a pretty wife at home and having one night stands with fit girls would be heaven. So let's say you did that would you then allow your wife to indulge in such activities too? You know have a pretty Dervaish at home and then one night stands with fit men?
For me personally that would not be heaven On the other hand if only you get to act out your heaven and not your wife then you are one bad boy like Hector the Toad in Scarface!
Ergo the woman in this story behaving like a doormat and is not alone in the world.
Hey.. where I come from, women dont do anything without Men's Permission Plus I can have 4 anyway
Everyone has a doormat outside their door in our building Some doormats look worn out while others are brand new. Doormat business is booming I hear
They stay with a bad situation (whether it is a bad friend relationship, bad work environment, bad SO, whatever) in order to get attention from others.
Another reasoning I can think of (have seen) is that some folks are so used to being walked on / abused that they simply do not know how to act in a "good" situation... they are constantly on edge waiting for something more like what they've learned to expect.
They maybe even have had "good" relationships before but felt so ill at ease that they end it and seek out one more like what they are comfortable (even if unhappy) with.
some people would rather be with someone who is wrong for them than to be alone. i've learnt when it comes to friends and their relationships, it is best to stay out of it. unless they ask you for specific advice, it never bodes well when you stick your nose in (even with the best intentions)
sometimes the only way is for that person to find out themselves (be it sometimes the hard way...)
to answer your question, how would your friend have known that the relationship would end this way? no one does.
as to self respect, well that is just you judging her...sometimes it's best to just step back, not stick your nose in, and be there if she needs you.(i know it can be hard, esp. as you seem to care for this person, as we do with our close friends...)
we all make mistakes, no one is perfect etc etc
The other day you were asking if Girls prefer Guys with or without body hair, waxing etc... and now You want to know about self respect and staying in an unhappy relationship...
Whats the story Kid... What are you preparing yourself for?
1st act- Dervaish's love hole shaving techniques: Well you will be demonstrating to live audience how you do it
2nd act- Nut bush city limits- Same thing but you will be moving to your nut bag
Obviously Tina's lovely track will be playing in the background to get you and the audience in the mood
Swissotter I definitely won't be sticking my nose in Dervaish's "business" or the friend's relationship She came to me for advice and has been trying to get over her X for last few weeks. If she goes back to him then it is not my problem. She can do what she wants with her life. I will tell her where to go if she comes back for advice on the same subject in few months
I am out for the day