If you won't be working I'd be looking for a location between the international school in Zug and your husband's office
There are no real 'expat enclaves' - we are pretty much sprinkled all over the map. You will find expat friends through activities, hobbies, and your children's school, rather than by proximity. Wherever you end up you will likely have to travel to see your friends, it's the nature of things - so an 'expat community' shouldn't be a consideration.
So first, what are your priorities, and where are you willing to compromise?
House with garden vs a flat? Freestanding houses are in very short supply throughout the area. If a house is a priority, go wherever you can find one. (Seriously.) If you are willing to live in a flat you can be more choosy as to location.
Car, or not? With a car (bearing in mind that parking is also an issue, see point one) you can live anywhere between the two cities. If you are going to stick with public transportation, choose a village on a direct train line to your husband's office and/or the children's school. Look at the SBB website for info on the train routes.
Taxes. If you are earning well above the EF poverty line of 120K, community tax rates might matter. Be aware of the tax rate difference between ZH and ZG, as well as the tax rate differences between the Gemeinden within each canton. Taxes are lower in ZG than in ZH, and for in-demand properties rents are generally higher. Depending on your individual situation, these might cancel each other out - or not. At very high incomes, the taxes in ZG are half those of ZH.
But - are either you or your husband 'US persons'? (Your profile shows that you are Irish, but you are in the US, so it's not clear. ) If either you or hour husband are US citizens or US persons as defined by the IRS, you might find that you also owe Uncle Sam. Generally - and especially at higher incomes - you will at a minimum pay in total, split between both countries, what you would have paid to the US had you remained resident. So higher CH taxes means less forked over to Uncle Sam. Lower CH taxes, more goes to the US. High CH taxes (that is, large deduction) and high income might trigger the US AMT - so you could end up paying more altogether.
This is a gross oversimplification, but I'm just tossing that out there if the tax implications of where you live are part of your decision process. As a 'US Person' you might not get the full benefit of living in a low tax canton to offset the more expensive housing. On the other hand, it simplifies your tax planning significantly and might keep the US AMT at bay, which is something...
(If your company's relo folks provide you with a tax planning session you would be wise to schedule that soon, before you make decisions, as what you learn might influence your priorities. If you don't have tax planning provided it's well worth investing in a tax pro on your own. But for a (very) quick and dirty look at tax differences between communities, either the homegate or comparis tax calculators are good enough to get an idea of the broader picture from the CH side.)
Good luck!
(My 2P: I'd go for a smaller village in Zug. But then, I hate city life, and avoid Zürich whenever possible.)
We live in Horgen, hubby works in Zug. Which school are you looking at? The one in Cham or the bigger one?
I suggest living close to your int'l school, you are going to become interwined within that expat community (as much as you think you wont, you will).
Thalwil is a perfect place though if you want to live in ZH and commute to Zug via train (if you dont have a car - if hubby has a car, go anywhere). You can go to Thalwil at anytime and hear a bunch of expats.
Now go back and than the many people who have been helpful to you on this forum, despite the fact that they've answered the same questions so many times.
Wherever you are though, beware of gradient - we looked at a nice apartment in Horgen near the motorway, but realised it would be almost impossible to walk anywhere as we would be 600ft above the station and the lake, which is a bit much when you're pushing a buggy!
It is true that Horgen station (by the lake) does not have a direct link.
It was a hell of a trek on foot from where we lived to the Oberdorf station as when we first moved here, I'd occasionally get on a train from Zurich HBf to Horgen Oberdorf by mistake.