For all you astrologist types...The New Zodiac

Daily Life, Swiss News and General Topics
1
So apparently The Minnesota Planetarium Socieity has done some work to redefine the zodiac signs as per updated positioning of celestial bodies.

http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle...nciaec8O7EyUsl

There's even a new zodiac sign for those fortunate enough. (and for all those deep artsy ladies who got their symbol tramp-stamped)

TL;DR

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.

Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.

Pisces: March 11-April 18.

Aries: April 18-May 13.

Taurus: May 13-June 21.

Gemini: June 21-July 20.

Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.

Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.

Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.

Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.

Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.

Ophiuchus: * Nov. 29-Dec. 17.

Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

2
Wait a minute..

If what you are saying is true; I still don't care...

3

Oh hang about, Mike doesn't do Astrology. Rats, the man's untouchable.

4
That must be why I always thought my horoscope was BS, I was simply reading the wrong one.

I was Aries, but now it appears I'm Pisces, how do I need to adjust my character?

5

Well for starters, you'll have to exchange your Sith lightsaber for a blue one.

geekout.

6
[Geek] Theoretically he could also choose between green and yellow... or maybe badass purple like Samuel L. Jackson

[/Geek]

7
The signs are outdated, so is astrology. Everyone knows that wise people get by on fortune cookies.

8
Jump in the water were you belong

9

Hey---watch that tone. Life long Pisces here (until that comet knock Earth into another orbit), you need to be nice, we're very sensitive.

10
I'm cured!

11
Hmm, apparently I'm a Saggitarius now.

And ROTFLMAO at all the people who got tattoos of their signs!

12
Ditto to anyone who believes in that heap of bollox in the 1st place.

Paddy, Libra

13

''.......I'm getting a tattoo of my zodiac sign because it's something that represent me and will never change, and I will like the tattoo even when I'm old because it is a constant symbol of me and my spirituality ''

It didn't help her hand out jello-shots any faster and I'm sure she was begging for that epidural come baby time as well.

14
Nah nah. Tea.

I used to do tea-leaves, but it was too messy. So now I do tea bags. What does the future hold...? Let me see...

An inferior cup of tea.

15
sooooo.....I have the following horoscope today:

"You can’t take another microwave meal — tonight, take time to make something delicious! Whether you treat yourself to dinner for one or invite someone hot is up to you. The important thing is to do it up right!"

coincidentally I have had microwave dinners all week (and plans to zapping some leftovers when I get home).

Out of a sheer desire for amusement, do I follow the stars, and if so any suggestions for tonight?