Has being a trailing spouse threatened your relationship?

Daily Life, Swiss News and General Topics
61
Having relocated because of my husband's job 4 times, from which 2 times in Switzerland) plus, my job being to support the accompanying partners in Switzerland: I know something about relationships being threatened by the relocation:-(

The good thing is that companies start to realize this too, and I am working hard for this!!

I am trying to raise awareness, not only about the difficulties that the accompanying partners are experiencing here but also on their importance:

Have a look to my blogs:

Accompanying spouse: Who are they/what are they so important and also an article about dual career which was aimed to be a bit provocative ( if not source of inspiration) about Dual Career couples.

http://job4u2-switzerland.blogspot.c...-are-they.html

http://job4u2-switzerland.blogspot.c...e-they-so.html

http://job4u2-switzerland.blogspot.c...itzerland.html

I am also trying to give the accompanying partners more exposure to the Swiss job market and created a linkedIn group called job4U2 Circle:

www.linkedin.com/groups?home=&gid=4357262

About my personal experience now: I was once lucky to be, at the same time ,young mother of 2 very young children, had resigned from a job I loved, moved to a new country and my husband made an MBA just at that very moment: you guess if that has threatened our relationship...?

62
How cool- my husband and I are in the same situation. We were both working in the same profession and a very demanding, competitive environment. We both earn well but back then, we both come home stressed and drained from the job. We don't have children too, but I think I will borrow your line and say I retired early.

63
A view from the other side of the tracks - I personally would love to try out being a 'trailing spouse', but it aint gonna happen. Not an easy job (being a hausmann/hausfrau), I realise this, but I'd have liked to give it a bash.

64
I'm in the same boat. My husband works and I hang out. In the US, we both worked crazy hours, full of stress. When we moved here, my father had just died, I was exhausted, so I took some time off. My German's not great and I've done a little consulting, but mostly I've puttered about. I'm actually thankful to be here rather than the US because I've since had some health issues that I'm pretty sure would have caused me to loose my job, or at least not able to keep it up and i'd be stuck in something crappy in the US. That might have been worse than being a trailing spouse.

I can't say that my husband comes home to a clean house and great meals, but we like our life. I'm thinking about small things I can do...

65
See you're assuming that you are allowed to be a hausmann/ hausfrau. Imagine your partner finding a job, a good job, in a country you dont speak the language and then expecting you to pack your bags, move to a foreign country, and find a new job. That can make it more difficult. Also, I got rained on at golf today

Yes, its not all bad.

66
We moved from the UK to Zurich in early 2010 in a burst of enthusiasm. My wife - the trailing spouse - was very keen for a few months but eventually got bored and started to find fault in the lifestyle. The language barrier didn't help.

About 7 months in, her old boss in the UK called to ask if she'd be interested in taking on some work (finance, private hospital - he was struggling to find someone who knew the ropes). She agreed and, long story short, she ended up going back to the UK. It was supposed to be for 3 months, but she's still there. We are still married but now just meet up when we can. I travel back to the UK on business once every couple of months, and occasionally we manage to meet for weekends somewhere in Europe -- or Scotland, where we both have family.

I have a decent job in Zurich and like it here. Am determined to stay, whereas she seems determined not to return. Not ideal. We're in our early 50s now, which works both ways. Seems the sort of age where a couple can independently drift on indefinitely without worrying what the other is getting up to, but at the same time, getting a bit old to consider starting all over again with someone else if that was the preferred option.

So in conclusion, at the moment I'd say that 'trailing' has definitely threatened our relationship but we're still hanging on. If I'm honest, I'm not overly concerned. The bigger problem for me is that life is more uneventful here than it should be as I obviously don't go out as much as I would as part of a couple. Still love living here though. On the plus side, the solitude gives me the chance to immerse myself in all those creative things (making music, writing, photography etc) that can seem a bit selfish in the company of others. So it's swings and roundabouts. If you don't want to be bored, you are not bored.

All things considered, I'm happier here on my own than living in the UK under any circumstances. It's still an adventure, and it will always remain so as long as I want it that way.

For others, I would advise the trailer to waste not time in making a positive effort to meet up with others -- perhaps by doing a daytime language class or learning some new skills at college or developing new hobbies in a club setting. You need to quickly feel you have some sort of social life and support network, or you're quite likely to end up dissatisfied, bored and lonely, once the honeymoon period expires.

67
I am in a similar position now.i was once a paediatricain. I followed my husband to Swiss land and am here for the past 1 year , being a at home mother to a 1 yr old child.

My husband has got an offer to stay another 1 yr and I have decided to go back to my country to practice .

He will follow back after 1 yer

68
I've lived and/or worked in 6 cantons over the past 20 years.

It's been tough.

The trailing spouse does not get a chance to develop their potential as they might wish to as they put a lot of effort in caring for the family and supporting their spouse's career.

I don't regret it but it has a personal price.