Anyway, the softer the cushin', the sweeter the pushin'.
Lol. I am not fat, just festively plump.
No, these ones are a bit too subtle for my liking
I really do like the rock and boulder one though
The best/worst one I've heard: "Hey baby, nice legs, what time do they open?"
1. Here's 10p go phone your Mum and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
2. How do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled or fertilised?
3. Do your feet hurt cos you've been running round my mind all day?
4. Do you have a mirror in your pants, cos I can see myself in them?
5. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
6. If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
7. Come sit on my knee and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up!
8. You remind me of a champion bass...I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
9. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past again?
10. Get your coat, you've pulled!
11. Gee what a fantastic pair of legs you have !! 12. Wow, you're gorgeous, the only reason I'd kick you out of bed is to f**k you on the floor 13. "This isn't a beer belly , it's a fuel tank for a love machine". 14. Hey there, would you like to play Lion ? ......You kneel over there and I'll toss you some meat 15. That's a nice dress, it would look even better on my floor Heard most of them! Will that do to start your book off?
I love this one. I've heard rumors that desperate politicians actually use this from time to time - in the developing world. No evidence though.
I've seen the ice cube one done. It fell a bit flat as everyone though the guy had gone completely mad smashing ice cubes under his glass and called door security....I think he left alone...
dave
I thought the math one wasn't too bad - then again I have a geek background.
It's certainly one of the funniest. These are almost 100% slap guaranteed.
I suspect numbers 8, 12 and 14 are to used with caution and take you well into drink-over-your-head territory . That's if you are sad enough to use any of them...
dave
These aren't too bad. They're quite funny.
It would be real cool to see them at work. That said, I wouldn't want to be within slapping distance of the "target".
I know I shouldn't laugh, but that's comedy gold.
Scribbled on a note, handed over wordlessly:
"Birchermuesli x 2"
I guffawed.
Here's some classics, i particularly like Hi, you'll do.
Gesundheit
worst line...a friend I know (shifty character) used the line "I may not be the best looking guy in the bar, but I'm the only one talking to you"
you can imagine how many times that one worked out. I think he's still single.
Scene:- In a bar where a rather attractive mother was treating her equally attractive daughter to her first legal drink on her 18th birthday.
My comment was along the lines of "I'd like to wish you Happy Birthday, but which is the daughter and which is the mother?", while not taking my eyes off either of them.
They both knew exactly what I'd done, but the mother was chuffed to bits and the daughter thought I was the perfect gentleman.
I would have asked you for a bucket!
Like Big Ben said to the Leaning Tower of Pisa, I've got the time if you've got the inclination.
I have heard this used:
"I've been turned down by better-looking girls than you!"
In actual fact the line you have described could be mutated into a more acceptable form (we can take the result and post it on the "Ask a Scientist" thread for more scientific appraisal):
"I may not be the best looking guy in the bar, but I am certainly talking to the most attractive person in the (whole wide!) room"
It has the double whammy of being complementary and self-effacing at the same time.
As a disclaimer, I know nothing about this stuff.
dave