'How about a coffee?' and other boring pick-up lines

Daily Life, Swiss News and General Topics
81
Hmmm. . . . . so I can't just get by on my looks. Shit. Now what am I gonna do?

82
You are already doing it, maybe without realising it.

dave

83

I don't know why you are so active in this thread: you couldn't score a monkey in a brothel with a bunch of bananas

84
I may not be a flintstone, but I'll make your bed rock.

36.2% of the time it works EVERYTIME !!!

85
Screwing a monkey with a banana is more difficult than you think...

86
Personal experience?

87
Ha ha ha ha ha ha. A monkey brothel, what a funny image, and DaveA standing in the middle of it, holding bananas. Ha ha ha ha ha.

88
Am I cute, or do you need another drink?

89
Thanks for the vote of confidence. I am actually the Gorilla in the Dairy Milk advert.

dave

90
Now, telling the ladies that you did a bit of drumming for Genesis, and with the added temptation of chocolate, you might be getting somewhere.

Priceless chat-up line territory.

91
Tiger Tiger burning bright, take chemgoddess out tonight

dave

92
a little long winded, and you may need crib notes, but a deal clincher for sure!

----------------

Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.

93
personally, I love Ron Burgandys line....(Will Ferrell in Anchorman)

“I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal.”

94
"What winks and s like a tiger?"

"I don't know, what does wink and like a tiger?"

" Grrr!"

95
Hmm so going back to the original point we've learnt that Swissies use "Fancy a Coffee" as a pickup line...

Well what happens if you genuinely mean you just want coffee? Is it automatically assumed if you ask this it's the case?

I think from memory I may have fallen into the trap unwittingly

96
I saw her first

Was that love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

97
No you didn't i did

98
With those eyes? Anything you damn well please.

99
Girl waiting at the bus stop, so I stopped the car...

"Do you need a lift, and I don't mean your face ? "

100
Yep. Another classic:

"Yours is ugly!"

Which was refined in an unexpected way once when I was in a car with 4 other blokes and we spotted a couple of obviously Scandinavian girls (slim, blond, tanned, etc) walking towards us on the pavement.

"Even yours is fit!"

I worked in a few places like that during student holidays. It certainly taught you the art of standing up for yourself. It was in many ways just as important a part of my education as the studying.