Like when he/she bumped her head against the wall or door and ended up with a big swollen forehead?
We went over to my wife's sister because my wife insists that our little one has fun playing with her big three cousines. We went there, I went out shortly and came back 30 mins laters to see the baby literally howling with an apple shaped swollen forehead. I have always been dreading such a moment ever since I witnessed a similar accident in my own flat years ago with a friend's baby. Our baby is 18 months old and apparently she was playing with the bigger boys (4 and 8) upstairs while the mother and other inlaws were downstairs. She wanted to go out and they opened the door harshly or I don't know how it happened.
Following my five minute urging we took her to an emergency service, she seems fine with the buldge smaller now but we noticed a second scar close to one eye.
She seems fine but I am not. I am mad, I know it was not my wife's fault. But I feel anger inside; something happened which I feared so much. I always wanted her first accident to happen after 5 or 6 years. I hope this one does not leave any marks.
I am sorry this has left you feeling so bad inside but I believe it shows what a caring parent you are.
Our son (now 6) fell forwards and bumped his head on a wooden floor when he was only 4 months old - I was distraught. Our children are so precious and we believe we can always protect them but the truth is that we can't.
I am sure your daughter will be fine which I know doesn't take away the anger your feeling right now, but you will feel better about it as time passes.
It is a shock when a little one hurts themselves for the first few times. My son has had a few bumps and scratches including matching scars just below each eyebrow.
Each time he has bashed himself in a totally unpredictable accident (or maybe I am a bit thick or my crystal ball was fogged up) so you just have to accept that sometimes these things will happen and, like with many things in your child's life, you won't be able to put a timetable on it.
Is this your first child? Accidents with your first child are always the worse!
When my husband rung me at work to tell me that our 7mth old had fallen off the sofa I was more concerned about calming down my husband than about the welfare of our child.
Our 4th child has had more bumps, bangs and bashes than the other 3 put together. You do get to know what falls/bumps are the worse and need extra attention, but unfortunately (?) it is all part of growing up and exploring life! Remember children are resilient.
Whilst no-one wants their little ones to damage themselves (my 3 are well on their way to making me grey!) it is part of life and growing up.
After all we all need to learn the laws of physics and how they apply to us!
All you can do is try to minimize the injuries received and be there with the hugs and band-aids ( or have the local doc on speed dial )when they happen.
To be frank it is much better to have them take a tumble off the sofa or bed at 18 months and learn the lesson than try to fly off a bunk bed aged 5 because they have never taken a tumble and do not have an appropriate sense of danger....
First baby's first accident was awful. Poor boy was only about 14 months and tripped on the steps resulting in a whopper of a bruise. I immediately took him to our doctor, who at the time thought I needed more care than the boy, due to shock.
We've since had a lot more experience with bumps, bruises and, unfortunately, stays at the Kinderspital with concussion, dislocated elbows and knocked out teeth.
It's always a horrible experience, but it does get easier to deal with. Toddler age is typical for these kinds of accidents and that's how the kids learn to cope within their environment. I wouldn't want to keep my kids in padded cells til they're five or six years. Just make sure you know your first aid.
Leaving an 18 month old unsupervised with a 4 year old and an 8 year old sounds like a recipe for disaster. I think you should be thankful that a bump on the head was all that happened.
According to what I read of the incident, it is fairly obvious that the children had played together before. While I wouldn't think folks would allow their 18mo toddler to hang out unsupervised with UNKNOWN children like that, if they've been observed to play well I don't think it is such a huge deal.
Then again, I'm #2 of 5 and our younger siblings were often allowed to play without direct adult supervision as long as my older sis or I were about so I suppose that's why I don't think of it as a big deal.
I agree. I would not leave an 18mo old baby with 4 and 8yr olds, simply would not want to bother them with the responsibility when they should just have fun and not constantly think of the all the nutty potential dangers an eager tot can get himself in withing seconds. Especially if it is in multi level building.
It's normal to feel the way you feel about it, I wouldn't rub it in, though. I am sure your wife feels bad enough. Must have been a hell of a door bang.
and, I do feel we should not have left her out of sight; even when we are around, she is difficult to control; she is a bit of freespirit wanting to walk without holding our hands, drink her orange juice on her own, have her bath on her own, etc. My wife should have told them to play in the living room rather than upstairs but she thought the 8 year old cousine-who is quite fond of our toddler and had proven his care before- would be a good caretaker. We had a terrible fight with my wife which spoiled the whole valentine's day mood. It is ofcourse settled now but I think it left some scars.
I will probably get over it soon, seeing the little one had no lasting damage, but I cannot help repeatingly seeing her in my mind lying in the hands of her mother with a terrible bump on the forehead.
You've all learned one lesson the hard way, but with no lasting damage done to the child. But this bit bothers me. Who is 'we'. Several of you ganging up on your wife - or is it a typo? Unless your wife disagrees that an 18 month old is too much responsibility for an 8 year old to cope with, I don't quite see what you need to fight over. And how will your wife 'get over it'? Is she not upset, or has she been too busy defending herself for anyone to notice?
Our children had their share of minor accidents. I admit I can still see the swollen face, the knocked out tooth, the broken nose... Some of the accidents took place while we were not present. A couple at school, a couple while someone else was looking after them. I was in charge of two 'other' children when they had an accident. Mr L has had a couple of 'other' children under his care have an accident. Fortunately, none required more than a stitch or two or a short stay in hospital. One thing the reaction of the parents had in common. In NONE of these cases was there a discussion about not taking enough care or lacking a sense of responsibility. Nor were there any recriminations. The accident had happened. It was maybe caused by a wrong decision, a wrong reaction. But we ALL make them. Whether we are driving a car, cooking the lunch or looking after children.
Had there been really serious consequences, the reactions might have been different, but nothing can undo the event. And making one person the guilty party really doesn't help.
"We" is used probably wrong at that sentence. What I meant was, I had a fight with my wife; the discussion was kept strictly among us two; my wife and me. Obviously though, bystanders could have guessed that we were not at best terms with each other.
Accidents do happen, yes.. I wish only her first accident would happen sometime later and to a lesser degree
Thanks for the explanation. I still wonder what you fought about though.
I can understand the shock and so on, but I'd consider '18 months old and a large bump on the forehead' for a first accident a 'lesser degree' in itself, however worrying it was at the time.
Later.
After writing the other post on this Thread, I realised that Mr L and I were never into 'it was your fault' about anything. I'm not saying we never had disagreements, but we didn't do the 'guilty' stuff.
I don't think it was because we are particulary 'nice', or 'tolerant' or 'forgiving'. Simply that we are both realists. Next time it could be me. There but for the grace of God go I.
Is there some sort of cruel valentine jinx? This is exactly what happened in my family yesterday, except that my daughter is 5 and the nature of the accident was different. She was running around, then tripped and fell and cut her forehead on the corner of a kitchen table.
My husband was furious -- with me -- because I was there and let her run around like that, so I 'did nothing to prevent it'. Like what? Unlike him, I do not hover like a helicopter over our children all the time. So that makes me irresponsible, I guess. (I cried myself to sleep last night).
What is it with modern fathers? Thirty years ago they did not know how to change a nappy, now each time a kid gets a scratch they give you the type of outburst normally reserved for scratches on their precious car...
I can't remember our children's first "accident" - and the oldest is now 5.
Was it the time he climbed out of his cot and landed on the ground - we'll never know which way up (or down ), when he helped his sister out the cot and she landed flat on her back... Or maybe the time when we were up at Markstein and despite his assurances that he would break he didn't and continued on his sledge through crowds of folk and under the safety barrier towards the road... Our youngest has bumbs that we don't even know how they got there!
Anyway that brings me to a weak link which is yesterday as we hurtled down the last stretch into Kriens (down from Pilatus) on a sledge when I completely lost control with my eldest in front of me and we went airborne.
Luckily we landed smoothly and although ended in a heap of snow, the only crying was from a face covered in snow. My relief (I really was worried he was going to get hurt due to my innability to control the sledge) was palpable...
Hmm, when ours had her first accident she fell out of the pram right on to brick pavement. With her mom. A call to my many-siblinged friend in Athlone followed "Did she black out?" No. "Cried straight away?" Yes. OK! All is well.
Next time, she fell out of our quite high bed (slightly higher than the pram), onto a rug covered wood floor. With Dad. Mom was a bit less receptive ( )- to begin with- but a mom's immediate reaction to her child being harmed is immune to criticism.
And that was that. Accidents happen and nothing productive comes from blaming the other parent.
I agree that nothing productive comes ever from blaming anybody else at such situations; as always one has to learn from mistakes and take preemptive action/measures for future cases. However, it is not easy to be not sentimental...
As for modern fathers being more involved with children, I guess it has to do with mothers being tougher to their husbands and fathers becoming father later in life (in my case at 38years of age whereas my father had his first kid at 28 years already)
The first accident is terrifying and really upsetting. I remember my son falling off a really low futon at just a few weeks old. He of course was fine but it didn't stop me worrying and feeling intensely stupid. Then there was the time my husband took our son to the park and thought that he would put him on the roundabout. My son was 8 months old at the time crawling and whilst my husband spun (slowly) the roundabout he decided to crawl across the middle and off the other side gaining a graze from forehead to chin. I remember asking my husband what he was thinking putting a baby on a roundabout. But what was 'obvious' to me wasn't to him and vice versa. Accidents can happen even though we've taken loads of precautions and some times they happen because we lack imagination about what a child will find interesting. There was a time when we seemed to have frequent flyer miles at the casualty department. The chances are that you will have a lot more accidents to cope with the important thing is too support each other because even it is "someones fault" seeing their child hurt and upset is enough without anyone else expressing it. When I trapped my sons hand in a car door he tried to comfort me I was so upset. My son now almost 9 gets up after even really bad accidents saying "I'm OK" so much so it's his catch phrase.