I would like to ask you guys, how do you balance your personal life and your career?
I am a 24 year old, currently doing a master degree, and often catch myself planning based on personal life (girlfriend, family etc) and often friends advice me that this is wrong - "You are still young you should focus on your career right now" or sth like this.
Recently watched the movie - Up in the air, and again was confused what is the right and the wrong thing.
Would you please share your opinions with me about this.
On a slightly more serious note: For the first twenty years of my working life, work always came first. I missed parties, weddings, christenings because of work commitments. I failed to attend evening classes regularly, didn't manage to maintain a proper hobby (other than drinking), and even abandoned driving lessons after never living in the same place long enough to pass my test - all in the name of work.
Did it do me any good? Did it bollocks! I'm still on the lower end of the wage spectrum, have very little property to speak of, and still have to worry about the price of angostura bitters.
A couple of years ago, I decided that (within reason - rent still has to be paid, after all) life would come first, and work second. After all, you might give up your social life for your boss, but he's never going to give a second thought to 'letting you go' during the next 'restructuring exercise'.
Ultimately, it's a simple transaction: You offer your labour on a regular basis in exchange for a regular income. Few shops continue with their transactions through the night, so why should you?
Close the Shop of vds every day at six o' clock, enjoy your life, drink ale, chase ladies, get old and die.
Do something that signals the end of your workday - remove your tie, listen to your iPod, whatever. After that switch off. Don't think about about work until the next morning.
If you're out socialising with workmates, ban all talk about work unless it's saucy gossip or slagging off the people who aren't there
Do not have a Blackberry, iPhone, etc. welded to your hand at any time. Nor iPod blasting in your eardrums and thinking 'I am tuning out the world in my own little gig'.
Managed to land a job after 12 months. through the forum
My husband and I have only had a few months in 20 years when we have actually both worked full-time in paid employment...it's always a compromise, like pieces of a puzzle that have to fit together - it's corny, and you know sometimes it's a rough road to ride, but who knows what tomorrow will bring.
The year I turned 30 was a really significant year...tragedies and triumphs that year...hang in there - 24 is really only the beginning of your adulthood...most people have some rough idea of what they'd like to do at 24...
Oh yeah, and we did have a real 'turning point' where we realised that work had to fit our relationship, or we'd end up with no relationship...and similar to DB I just can't see the point of a life with a big career and a trail of destructed relationships with people to show for it...
@24 you don't balance anything, just be cool, don't mess it up so much.
You are in what should be the semi-finals of the most wild part of your life. If you don't have it at your age, you'll become a lost cause.
On the other hand, if you study w/responsibility, build your image, brush your political skills, follow a career path, maybe you'll end up becoming a f****** boring accountant at Price Waterhouse driving a Volvo until you end up as partner, namely a dead walking man w/a nice bank account and a wife that probably shags someone else because it ain't fun w/you.
Just one piece of advise: try to find something that you really like and start maturing the idea of making (or driving) a business out of it. Slowly but steadily, try to take steps in that direction.
Following your co-pilot is a risky business. Mind you if you don't take risks at 24...
I wouldn't throw up my studies at that age to follow someone mind, qualifications are sometimes needed more in the future than you might imagine-when it may be harder to get them.
Yup and it is not an easy ride, fo sho..But that has got more to do with relocation into a place one didn't chose, not speaking the language, not being familiar with the country, mentality, etc. and being slowed down by some other unfamiliar scenarios that life brings on top of that.
But to your original question - go by your instinct. Sometimes investing into your career means improving your personal life (and everyone who is engaged in it) in the long span.
On the other hand - there are so many people that associate their personal worth with their career and professional life and cannot anylonger see their personal life disassosiated, it is sad.
A healthy balance is important, guard your personal life so it does not get infected with work worries, priorities and ugly ethics, it is so much more frenquent than the other way around, I think.
I think you got pretty much enough advice from other members, but just regarding this one, NEVER follow your partner / co-pilot blindly abandoning what you already got, it can be a very bumpy ride, things can turn up ugly and love would turn to hate at a certain stage.
If you wanna do that, you should do it right by securing yourself, career & new life, it might take a while but it will defo save you alot of hassle at later stages.
End of, just follow your heart, if you meant to be with someone, she'll shine infront of you & chemistry will happen, it's not something to plan for or you have to do.
There's no formula - just do what feels right. Think about what's important to you, and what makes you feel good at the end of the day. For some people, that's getting out and being able to hang with their buddies at a pub watching a game of (can I get this Euro-slang right?) footy. If you're more goal-oriented and really love your job, then maybe long hours during the week and spas on the weekend are your route.
In the end, though, you're only going to be satisfied if you sit down, consider what you want, and make the choice in full realization of the ups and downs of both sides. If you work those short hours and head over to the pub now without thinking about the consequence, in 20 years you might regret not being the boring accounting partner in PwC with a half million franc income . On the other hand, you might be more like DB and realize after all that time that you'd have been happier keeping it shorter and less driven.
You can't have it all, though, so you need to sort out your priorities and then be sure you're willing to accept the consequences of whichever path you take.
Personally, I agree with phdoofus on one point - never stick with a job you hate. I love what I do, and I (almost) always have; the long hours are often fun because of that, and because I've got great coworkers.
I think what your friends mean, when they say to focus on your career right now is to give it more priority than finding a wife/gf. I dont think they are saying to reject anyone who comes along but just to focus on finishing your Masters and not let anything else distract you. Afterall, at the risk of sounding like some old fart, 24 is very young!
And with regards to your second question, I went from billing around 60 hours per week, having a blackberry perpetually stuck in my hands to zilch. Talk about shifting from the 6th gear to neutral. Still trying to get used to it. Definitely still lots of envy / jealousy on my part when I see friends/ex colleagues climbing past me. On the other hand, they've got all the money in the bank and no time to spend it. An ex colleague was telling me the other day that she postponed her hair appointment twice because of work - I find it laughable now. So, in a way, I am glad I made the decision to shift to neutral. Oh well, something's got to give eh..
Work to make money so you can go and do other things, don't just work to make money, so that you have money.
People say concentrate on your career like that means everything else stops. It doesn't. Work hard when you are there and go home happy.
If you are contracted to do 8 hours a day, do it and go home. Just make sure you work hard in those 8 hours. Only idiots sit at work for 10 hours doing nothing and thinking it will impress other people.
If you have a blackberry (and I do) leave it at work if you don't need it, or switch it off. I still have my own phone for personal stuff and if something is so urgent it can't wait for the morning then people can call me on that...and feel my wrath.
In my experience jobs are pretty much all the same, its the people you work with that make it bareable or not.
Now that I'm here it is SO MUCH HARDER to accept that I need to go back to Australia and work and study.. I don't know if I'll be brave enough to actually go.. but if I do it will be a veryyyyy long and tearful plane ride (apologies in advance to whoever ends up next to me!!)
I sometimes think its not so much about putting in all the hours god sends to get yourself a career to earn a decent crust, its more to do with finding a career that you enjoy doing, pays a reasonable salary and also where the market cant dry up instantly.
I recently had the same conversation with my 16yr old nephew and advised him to look at these options. I suggested dentistry - when was the last time you saw a poor dentist!?