I`d try to stay close to those neighbors you get along with best and try to participate a bit. Leave hubby at the other side of the table and people won`t assume that he`s keeping you updated on the topics. But I agree with another poster that there are times when you just don`t have the emotional capacities for it.
my great-grandparents landed in Roseau, MN in 1896, not too far from there. the local English in Badger, MN is maybe just a little different than the local English I grew up with in Detroit
Of course there are differences, but it's easier for me to talk with someone from St. Louis than an Oberwalliser from Brig, Switzerland. And, funny enough, that's the kind of people who always get the most prominent jobs with Swiss German TV and radio stations. My native language is Swiss German, mind you.
I don't know about Brig, for now I would be happy if I could properly pay for my petrol and Feldschloessli at the market in Zurich.
Detroiters grow up in the firm believe that they speak an English without an accent; they are told so already in first grade, but I'm sure Kalamazooans believe the same. I keep teasing the heck out of my OH, grewn up in Detroit, by saying, "No, of course you don't hayave an ayackcent." It takes five minutes to get used to such peculiarities.
Not even da Yooperish in da UP of Michigan, up dare over da Bic Mac in da Sauna Belt, is a real challenge to me as a bloddy furriner. Of course, dare up Nord you have ta know dat it's always Mackinaw, even when it's written Mackinac, but no real prob bro eh.
Now back to the topic please:
I totally agree. Everybody from the German speaking part of Switzerland learned Standard German for many years and reads and hears it every day. Unfortunately, our folks often are inconsiderate and lazy in this respect. I thinks it's a matter of politeness and decency to use a language that everybody understands.
However, I think it's better now to stick to the original topic. It's about lingua franca at Swiss German parties, not about the Windsor Tunnel or the pronunciation of Bois Blanc Island*. There may be more useful stuff coming, so let's stop derailing it, ok? Please feel free to PM me of you feel like.
*) Boo Blaw Island for you non-Michiganders, non-Michigeese, non-Michigoslings and the whole non-Michigaggle.
I don't know how long you have been here, but as evidenced by CaribbeanGeorge's posts and similar posts from other EFers, I think you are facing two tremendous cultural issues which will probably take a long time to grasp fully:
1) The Swiss (native SG speaking) have a deepseated psychological barrier to speaking HG. It somehow makes them feel inferior. For you to fully understand that would necessitate adopting a SG Weltanschauung,
2) and they seem less able to "step outside themselves" and put themselves in others' shoes. They will not really be able to sympathise with the vulnerability you feel as an outsider in a new country with new customs etc.
You will never be able to impact the former in any way. However in my experience when you do the latter, which for many Swiss (native SG speaking) is nearly impossible to do, you can eventually move forward with them, communicate with them and find balance living in their country with their ways.
I really don't mean to be patronising to anyone, but that is just from my observation and experience.
In my country we bend over backwards to accommodate foreigners in order to have an integrated society where all members of society feel as included as possibl. However, bending over backwards can sometimes lead to backpain. Based on my value system, it is the lesser of two evils. However, this is not a view shared by most SGs.
You live here, and are presumably open to change and differences. Most SGs are unable to be open to change and differences. If you want to have close contact and communication with them, you are going have to change - learn their dialect, ways and mores and show them you want to do things their way.
If like me you are comfortable to appreciate them from a respectful distance, then the only issue you face would be how to step back when they stand really close to you without causing them offence! :-)
On the bright side, the more you hear it, the better it will get (eventually...) and if your German is intermediate or above already, then you can at least take classes to learn dialect.
I went to my first play here yesterday. It was in Swiss-German, like pretty much everything else in Nidwalden, but I understood maybe 20% and enjoyed the singing. It's only taken 7 years... There was quite an amusing bit involving an "English Lady" whose English was noticeably worse than that of the other actors. That scene was done in High German (and some English) for the supposed benefit of the Lady, which I wasquite impressed with.
Yes. Well, to be clear, it includes all German dialects spoken in CH. There is no 'standard' from which they deviate, so your use of "non-standard" is not appropriate in this context.