Job application writing style

Dear all,

I'm in the process of applying for a job which, while I don't technically tick all the boxes on the advert, I'd be brilliant at. I really, really want the job, and - as far as I can see - all my previous experience, both in and out of work, has led inexorably to this potentially glorious moment in my career.

My problem is that I've just read back over my covering letter. It's fine. Everything is spelt correctly, the punctuation is perfect, the grammar all works. But it's boring as an 'oliday in Olten. There's no hint of my passion for the job, for my drive, for the overwhelming sense of destiny which accompanies my application.

Now, you all know how I write. Some of you are even employers and/or recruitment types. Would you advise me to ditch the "professional but staid" route and write with my usual idiosyncratic flourishes, or do you think I should play it safe? I'd try not to include anything too florid, and I'd especially avoid hedgehogs (though I do love 'em, I do).

What do you think? Write like Dougal's Breakfast in real life , or stick to the careers' guidance I photocopied when I left school back in the eighties?

I know I'm in the creative business, but what set the curriculums apart from all those we got was the design.

The information had to be correct (and could be the good old boring standard), but a nice looking piece of paper did a lot in the sorting. Sometimes we actually made the comment "how can someone with such great design skills have such a poor CV?"

Also a portfolio sample (usually an A4 thingy with photos and examples of work) did wonders. All contact with your profession I have through my mom, which is in another country and age, but the little portfolios she presented with examples of work from her students and extra-curricular activities did help a lot.

I know coz the 14 year old me loved to help out with her stuff, so I got a bunch of feedback...

Honestly? Probably neither one exactly

As someone who once had to deal with applications for a living... bear in mind your initial audience has 50 of these to read. You have no control over whether yours lands on their desk as the 3rd or the 43rd. Best assume the eyes are already glazed, fingers twitching nervously toward the long-empty cuppa. Your mission is to wake them up again, but without frightening or befuddling them. In short, keep it short. Wear your learning and your whimsy lightly: no erudite sentences that demand a double-read, and no hedgehogs unless the job is about hedgehogs.

Concretely, this means any verbiage that will probably appear word for word in most of your competitors' applications should be trimmed ruthlessly. So for example at least three quarters of the cover letters I came into contact with would lead off by stating that the applicant was "responding to your advertisement", sometimes going on to cite name of publication and date. I grew to detest this opener. We knew we'd advertised the position. We knew where we'd advertised it. And if we really wanted to know which of our ads were reaching people, we'd invite them to an interview and ask. I didn't outright discard applications which used this formula but the few which skipped it earned an immediate spark of goodwill from me, and left my brain just that little bit more wide-awake to continue on to their next paragraph.

Similarly, explain why you are interested in the position, but only in passing; pivot immediately to why the position should be interested in you . This isn't because your reasons are irrelevant, it's just because nine tenths of your fellow applicants will have more or less exactly the same reasons as you (job is well paid, in a top location, company is a vibrant startup or industry growth leader or what have you) and so the danger is that you'll all find yourselves writing more or less the same sentence here and therefore I'll be reading more or less the same sentence for the 45th time and won't be properly impressed. Unless you are confident that your own reasons for wanting the position are fairly distinctive, just pay the obligatory bland compliment and smoothly move on to yourself. What makes you special, memorable and worth an interview for this position? Again, work on the assumption your application is going to fall somewhere toward the end of a large stack and try to offer something fresh.

You don't have to re-summarize your whole professional history (that's what your CV is for) but this is the place to outline a very brief narrative arc (are you a baker turned food safety inspector turned building inspector?) that will help us remember you. It's also where you can highlight any special selling points, aspects of your CV which make you a standout candidate or which you feel are more relevant than they might seem at first glance.

Last, if you are the perfect fit for reasons that involve a little dot-connecting - say, not because it's exactly the same thing you have X years of experience doing brilliantly at previous jobs, but rather because it ties together several disparate strands of your career - say so . As boldly as possible. Don't count on us to connect the dots, we might or might not notice and you don't want your future career depending on whether or not I've had my coffee.

Yes, you probably do need to wind up by expressing that you "would be delighted to hear from us" or however you want to phrase it. But the closer that is to being the only piece of boilerplate in your entire letter, the wider awake and the thankfuller I'll be.

Yours,

the secretary with an empty tea mug and a whole stack of these things to review

The ladies above have nailed it.

I would add that I would only be "creative" if the nature of the position called for it, such as advertising or public relations etc.

The other point to get yourself to the top of the pile is to examine the needs of the company/position and suggest what you could bring to the table and the method you would envisage. Uniqueness is key.

Perhaps you could also carry out a good ol'fashioned egogram to stay safe. Basically counting the amount of times you use "you" and "I" and make sure that it is balanced or slightly in their favor.

If you have a blog or similar which better reflects your style you could link to that in your application. That way, it's not in their face but is there as an option if they want to get a better feel for you.

I fully get that "this is the job I want" feeling and I truly wish you the best of luck with it.

The key to success is to always make them feel that you are very passionate about the job. Use minimum number of words but you must be able to show that to them.

What the recruiter reads in your letter of motivation is much, much less important than who hands them said letter. Spend your time accordingly.

Get on LinkedIn and see who you know at the company.

Don't know anyone well? Check for mutual acquaintances and get a (positive) introduction.

Have absolutely no useful network? Then reach out cold and show your enthusiasm. Find out what the company is really looking for (not just what's written in the job description). Drop names (but only genuine, positive, connections).

It's your job to make sure that when the recruiter picks up your CV, they are just checking it as a formality to make sure there are no skeletons in your closet. The brutal truth is that 9 times out of 10, you've already won or lost before anyone at the target company gets near your cover letter.

Good luck!

Do you two not talk to each other of an evening?

With twin toddlers? I barely manage to talk to Mr. Helm in the evening about anything else but the single Godzilla I have at home, I can imagine the only time these two have for a proper philosophical conversation is those 5 flashing minutes between a train change.

I think a little quirk is OK - and certainly I think some passion has to be there. I'd say let Mr Breakfast out.

How about this - write another letter in your "other" style. Go to town, but make sure you're still on point. Then look at your drier one. Then see if some of your words/phrases can be slotted into the original letter.

I have a good covering letter - I'd say its a pretty damn good covering letter - and I have a kind enthusiastic "master" copy that I adapt for each role I apply for. I generally get the interview. I don't always get the job... but the letter sounds like me. Me on my best behaviour, but me nonetheless.

Good luck.

R

Actually, treat it like an essay response to an exam question: you've got to demonstrate you have all the skills whilst staying firmly on topic but also having grabbed the examiner by their metaphorical balls from the get-go. Dynamic opener. Strong dismount. Really formal/formulaic stuff in the middle if need be.

I did exactly this when I took my career in a pretty radically different direction. I knew that I wouldn't end up in the 'interview' pile based on the standard criteria, so I didn't focus on that. I turned the process on its head and described how I would approach the job and why I had such passion for it.

This way, you don't need to show that you tick all the boxes. You show that you have strong ideas, a clear plan to execute against, and then you spell out why you believe you will execute against that plan successfully. At the end of the day, it's not about you getting a great job. Employers don't care about that. They're much more interested if you can show how you'll deliver great results for the company.

In my case, they were hiring for a single role. I came in and pretty boldly told them that they were pursuing the wrong strategy, and if they really wanted to see results in this space, they would have to increase the resources, make sure there was visibility and engagement at the CxO level, and really do things differently. They liked my ideas, the role was adapted with a team, and the interview process quickly became a one-man race.

Finally, I think it's OK to point out in your covering letter that you are an outlier, that you don't meet the conventional mold for the role, but that it doesn't matter because of [insert all the reasons you'd be brilliant here].

Good luck. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I would send off half a dozen or so, in a different ore passionate style & see if the response is better. One of my trendy RAV advisors looked at my Swiss Style CV, made on a Swiss CV course, she laughed & said How the Fuxx do you expect to get anything decent from that. She said just make a brochure in the style of my website & add a covering letter. Not every Swiss employer is looking for a boring old fart, you need to find a more adventurous employer TBH.

Great feedback from the posters above - I'll add my two rappen, both from my experience recruiting people on a regular basis, and from being the current non-technical feedback provider to my husband, who is in a very niche field with 25+ years of experience, but is looking to make a partial career switch.

1. Very bluntly, people don't care about how good you are (or you think you are ). They care about how you're going to be beneficial to them and their organization. Don't list your impressive skills, academic credentials, experience in the cover letter (they can see the list in the CV/resume), if not to concretely demonstrate how you will use them to benefit the organization in a tangible way.

Example: I have a PhD in electrical engineering . So what? Better way: my research and publications in XYZ will contribute to the advancement of ABC (key requirement/strategic goal of the job).

2. Be enthusiastic about why you are the best option for this particular position/company/organization. I like to read personal facts that tie to the opportunity. Tell me something about you that makes you unique and tickles my interest, while directly applying to a key requirement of the job.

Example: I once hired someone for an accounting position where "excellent project management skills" (hideously generic, I know - did not write the job rec!) were needed, and she had told me in her cover letter that she had successfully started and had been running a non-profit organization in her spare time, including specific examples of challenges, solutions, and accomplishments which demonstrated her excellent project management skills.

Good luck!

Thanks to everyone! I finally got something down that I think straddles the professional/passionate barbed wire fence. Going to sleep on it, I reckon, then get the green pencil out. (How's that for a bag of mixed metaphors? )

And yeah, Helm's right: we're either wrestling little dinosaurs or staring slack jawed at Imgur before collapsing unconscious into bed.

... and it's only going to get worse!

Here's one more post to encourage you to try a different style. The last application I wrote started with

"Dear Future Colleagues at ,"

I then continued with my understanding of what they are looking for and a couple of words why I would be able to offer that in spite of lacking experience from their industry. I also told why I was applying for a job in another country and connected it to why I found the job interesting.

I just read that application letter again and although I'd probably keep the same style I would shorten it a bit. In total it was about half a page long. The opener can seem a bit bold but I wanted to go all in with this one. I did add a reference to the job ad (including a unique ID) because it is a huge company and I didn't know how many applications the recruiter is handling.

Surely that will be quite painful, better probably to sleep next to the barbed fence may i politely suggest ?

@BokerTov has it right, IMO. All the employer cares about, quite rightly, is what you can do to help them, This doesn't mean you can't talk about yourself or your suitability, but everything should be stated within this frame of reference.

As for quirky vs conventional, it's almost impossible to advise. Much will depend on the individual HR person looking at the applications. I can think of people in my own organisation who would respond differently to a slightly off-the-wall cover letter. As someone said, it also depends on the nature of the position. You can (and probably should) take more risk with a copywriting opportunity than with a corporate accountant position.

If you go for the quirky approach, the secret is getting the tone just right -- to display your skills, and perhaps raise a chuckle or two, without coming across as juvenile or 'trying to be clever'. That is a tough thing to achieve.

Caveat -- I should say that I've tried all these things myself, many times during my time in Switzerland and have managed only two interviews and no job offers. So don't listen to me.

I am afraid that I can't offer any helpful input but having had time to read some EF threads lately I seem to have missed all your news.

Sorry that you are in a position to seek new employment but I am sure that if you can get to the interview stage then you will shine.

Also, many congrats on the new arrival - fantastic news.

A new chapter in your lives is beginning which I am sure will be one of much happiness professionally and on the home front..

I can't offer anything, but wishing you good luck and say thanks to starting the thread.

I got a few very very good ideas for my own application letters, going to change them!

All the best to you!