Not calling the Police but finding enough time to video it and upload it to Tik Tok.
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That’s actually my current bike, although the rust is not painted on and the duct tape is needed to hold the handlebar grips on and is what attaches the front light to the bike 
In a fit of pique, I once took an angle grinder to the front mech and removed that together with the shifting mechanism. If I want to move the chain onto a different chainring, I need to use a stick to push the chain 
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I have been using many years succesfully about 2 kg heavy Abuss Steel-O-Chain chain lock. My e-bike is heavy anyway, no need to go to gym so often.