I can attest Salsa_Lover is a warm, friendly and generous chap.
What puzzles me when I read similar posts is the onus being on the people here being a problem: surely people are people all over the World? I don't feel naïve about this, culture has a lot to do with it but I've met some smashing people here. I like it so much it's become my home for the last decade. I've lived in many different countries, am aware things are different everywhere you go but I'm yet to find a place where I'd say I don't like the people.
Sure, there is insincerity everywhere, but people constantly surprise me. Perhaps it's my curiousity which leads me to interacting and finding fascination in the human element, helping to overlook the common faults. In fact, the faults and flaws are often the interesting bit. It can all get a bit Stepford, otherwise. It helps to be living in the country's biggest city, I suppose, which is of lil' comfort to the OP...
But in the flesh you'd think I was a grumpy sod: Hell - afterall - is other people
Online sometimes you sound like a grumpy 60-year-old sod, actually.
I'm sure in person you're a charmer in his 30s.
The people in Zurich are just normal people... you get your mix of stuck-up snobs and your normal friendly people, and I myself have been out on random nights out on several occasions completely on my own, and had a blast with the locals, often getting chatting to someone and then going on to a club and getting on the guest list etc. Several of my colleagues are also the soundest people you can meet and I consider them friends, and are they the only people of their type in the whole of Zurich? No, of course not.
Pubbing and clubbing, while great fun, is never the best place to go out and expect to make some firm friendships... just the same as it is often the case back in the UK too. Everthings manic, everythings busy, and people are in groups and busy with their own stuff.
I'm an only child so i've had to learn how to deal with boredom and entertain myself my whole life... I have loads of gadgets that keep me entertained, but at the same time i've had little problem getting out there and meeting people when I really feel the need for human contact. Hell, i've even made a couple of cool friends from my short time at EF, one who happens to live on the next street, so I see no reason why over time and with a little patience I can't build some sort of social group here, no matter how small.
Fact is, if you are in a foreign country with no grasp of the native lingo then expect to find your time there lonelier than someone who does speak at least reasonable-ish high german. My command is average, but it helps massively to the point where I can have a laugh and joke around with the locals in everyday life, and believe me the Swiss do appreciate it, and they do have a sense of humour. There's a lot of nice people in Zurich, and if you give them the time and effort, they'll give it back.
Really.... move to Lugano or Zurich
Roveredo has a population of circa 2200 souls.
You're young only once, get out and enjoy life.
There are many places where you won't feel so lonely.
I'm sorry you are feeling lonely. I'm in the same boat. We arrived at the end of March and I just can't shake this sadness I have. I have met lovely people, swiss and many, many expats. Some have become friends and I know our friendships will grow as time goes by, but for me, I just miss my life back home, mostly my girls friends, laughing together, crying together, solving the worlds problems together , just the comfort of it all. I've been told by many that it takes a good 6 ms to a year to really feel like you're settled. We'll see. In the mean time, I am joining ZIWA (Zurich Internations Women's Association), getting involved in my church and just getting out there.
Keep smiling!
Kathy
I really understand you and unfortunately I must confirm what you're saying.
I've lived in Tessin, Lugano and Bellinzona, for 5 years...without friends. I've never expected to find people like this and I tried to have contacts, but nothing to do. Like you, only for drinks/dancing and sometimes eating. The last year, I met american and canadian people, that was so funny. But as all expatriates, they're going back to home.
Maybe you can check if in Bellinzona they have a british club or something else.
I wish you good luck and try to be stong!
If you want to get to know the Swiss, you will have to become an active member of a club. This is really the only time they will be really comfortable in the company of people they haven't known since childhood. My local vintage motorcycle club is full of dyed in the wool old Swiss fellows and their wives, there is a profusion of well coiffed facial hair and belts with brass cows to be seen at our monthly meetings (on the blokes), but they are extremely friendly, love to practise their English on me, and refer to me as "der Englander", as opposed to "der Hollander", another member who has lived 40 years in Switzerland, after marrying a Swiss lady. It is a club rule that you must refer to everyone as "du", and their outings / rides out are impeccably organised.
Cheers
Jim
I will be moving to Switzerland in the next few months. I hope I don't feel too lonley. I know it is always hard moving to a new country with a different culture. I currently live in London and have a good active social life, I am now feeling a bit scared abut making the move to Switzerland and hope I can adapt quickly.
I am hoping to live in Zurich if I can find somewhere to rent.
I need to meet people who speak English and want to hang out, even if it is just for coffee or dinner.
Steve.
Gal x
Sounds like a perfect couch to me!
I had (maybe more "felt" like I had to) leave my 10yo dog back in Florida with my mom, I couldn't bear the thought of something drastic happening to her if I'd had her shipped (dog, not mom - although that would be terrible too!) so my beloved Harri got left behind.
So far as the OP and his/her dilemma...
I can offer this advice:
Growing up as a military brat it was generally a year of observation and learning the "lay of the land" before I figured out what folks I could truly connect with and what interests were available that would be more than just passing.
So, just because you've not found anything or anyone of particular interest yet, do not let it get you too down (for too long).
Also, I agree with what some of the others have said, if you have particular things that you know interest you, it is a good idea to see if there is a "group" that engages in that activity in your area (or within reasonable distance). Whether it is something you already do or something you are interested in learning, it is a relatively sure way to meet others with similar interests to get involved in something that interests you.
One of the things I have noticed among the locals is the invitation / proposal to meet up for coffee. Now... I tend to be a bit of a frugal gal AND I tend to be a bit chatty and chummy... meeting up with someone for a coffee at some shop doesn't particularly interest me.
BUT
Getting to know some folks maybe at a class or something (cooking class? language class?) to start sharing time in more personal areas such as everyone bringing something to toss on the grill and meet up at a park for a "pot luck" experience... that is my idea of a good time. Not necessarily exciting but comfortable and companionable.
I mention that though more to point out that it is important to find folks who DO truly, deep down, enjoy the same sorts of things that you do... not everyone wants to spend time on someone else's dog-hair covered couch but to me right now it seems perfect!
--
2 adaptations can be tough, no ?
I have been back in zurich for almost 2 years now, I came back with a total 100% positive attitude to get me integrated, and I have a very active social life, organising sports events, BBQs, going out with people, partying many times per week etc etc.
But now I feel entirely disconnected of this place.
Much more than what I felt at the beginning of my immigration experience in Geneva, when I was really alone with language barriers and without much social life.
---
maybe it is time to change, no ?
Are there any sports that you like where you could get involved ? Or a course ? How about consulting a relocation agency for advice ?
Hope you find lots of new people with whom to enjoy your summer
Almost one year along, after I got used to being here and entertain myself, I am once again moving. This time to Winterthur or somewhere close to that. I cant speak Swiss German so I am very concerned that history will repeat itself. This past year was very hard and many times thought of going back... instead resolving to go back home every few weeks. I am used to a lot of social life and friends all the time, barbeques etc.
I hope to meet some of you when I arrive in Winterthur end of next month. I met some great people throught this forum
Do I need to break the ice? "Hi, I'm an anglophone and I want to have a beer with an EF member"
Setting up something on the EF Social Event forum takes prior planning and local knowledge. That might be a bit intimidating for someone who is new here, doesn't speak the local language, and is struggling to make friends.
Thoughts?