i am writing asking for tips and suggestions. my neighbor above us is making me crazy. her complain us my child cries all day and she cant work, sleep etc etc.
all the more she stamps on the floor and makes me mad while i am trying to pacify a child who had a bad dream or is in pain due to teething.
i am really annoyed with her and would appreciate expert advice.
please asap
Tom
People that cannot handle that shouldn't live in an apartment building.
To add to the loud music suggestion - if it's quite a young child (baby), then 'white noise' can help (thats when a radio tuner is between stations and just makes a hissing noise).
While away last week staying in an apartment we suffered the annoyance of having children in the apartment above us doing impressions of baby elephants.
You'd have boom boom boom boom for 20mins as they ran around chasing ghosts - then a bump - following by a ow you hit/pushed me - followed naturally by blaarggh blaarggh blaarggh - finally followed by 10mins of peach and quiet while one child was comforted and the other admonished.
And then repeat.
By contrast, the neighbour is responsible for her actions. If she deliberately stamps on the floor, then this is antisocial behaviour and would be grounds for a formal complaint.
However, it would probably best to ignore her stamping if you can. Firstly in the interests of good Swiss-style neighbourly relations, and secondly because if she thinks you're not bothered by it, she may stop anyway.
If she carries on complaining after that, repeat as necessary. "Sie ist ein Baby. Sie weint, wenn ihr nicht wohl ist. Wir waren alle mal so."
(or if your baby is a boy: "Er ist ein Baby. Er weint, wenn ihm nicht wohl ist. Wir waren" etc.)
It's great when people realize this without being told but it sounds like your neighbor may need a reminder. Babies do cry sometimes, because they are babies and that's what they do.
The floor-stomping is harder to deal with. Your baby's cry is louder and more disturbing to you than it could ever be for her so I am really not sure why she feels the need to alert you by stamping on the floor - does she think you somehow haven't noticed?? Grr. You have my sympathy. Really the only thing you can do in such moments is ignore it and focus on helping your baby.
In my opinion you will achieve more if you show that you actually care about your neighbors.
I would write her a nice pleasant letter asking her to be reasonable, that you treat your baby well, but it still complains loudly. Perhaps ask her to visit the Gemeinde / Commune and complain about the noise there, where you are sure she would receive some good advice on what to do next.
If she can't make a decent suggestion then maybe she'll realise it's not as simple as an on-off switch and learn some empathy.
Or go for a walk with the pram/buggy - we found that was the only way to survive our somewhat challenging first baby, which also take the noise away.
Contrary to what many here say, it's far from clear cut, and there's no such thing as "it's the law, live with it" in such cases. Telling your neighbor to put up with the troubles probably is the worst possible (in-)action.
Dialogue is key, perhaps some middle ground can be found. Did you try?
I was a baby once, agreed. I was a child once, agreed. And I probably cried and ran around screaming and jumping and talking and laughing loudly non-stop... because that's what children do. They are what they are.
But it is parents who control to whom/what/where their children are exposed. They don't have the right to impose their children on anyone, anywhere, without consequence.
That said, I think the OP's neighbour is in the wrong. But the correct rebuttal to any complaints is: "Babies cry. It is an unintentional, human noise (as opposed to foot stamping). There is a limit to how much it can be controlled. If you have a problem with the noise, it is an issue with the poor construction of the building, not with me. Please take the matter up with the building owner."
Living in an apartment building requires tolerance and respect, just saying "it's your problem, f*** off" most likely will not help to cool down a heated argument.
What can a person reasonably do in this situation?
I suppose it it were me, I would make the argument I stated above. But I would also attempt to sound-proof the baby's room by lining the walls and ceiling with high density foam. And I would look to move to an apartment with decent construction so I could live in peace without being paranoid that I was pissing off my neighbours.