dave
Argue the points, or even with the persona "HAT". But don't start making opinionated, potentially libellious assessments about the person off the forum , who may now be uniquely identifiable and whose character may be damaged by such postings. Think on.
Obviously you haven't understood what I am saying in my post.
I am saying exactly the same as you here.
People perceive you through some details, they then match to patterns they have build on their unconscious, and they form a conclusion about you in a matter of minutes.
That is the way it is.
I was giving him an example of how this works with a concrete real life experience.
You perceive the other people based on your own prejudices, positive or negative.
And in many cases you without noticing match some other's prejudice with your own unconscious attitudes.
I realised in the past this, It is a scientific fact, has been studied by psychologists.
I realised that in most of our human interactions we are trapped by this mechanisms, so we end "living" again and again the same thing. and we complain that is allways the same, that the people is that and the swiss is this and the latins those etc etc.
It helps to understand it and try to raise your mind above it.
I had a coffee inbetween.
Truce please.
Have a free beer. on me.
We have had enough flaming on the net.
I was venting my frustrations , and not asking for help to correct my idiosynchronic character.
I am happy the way I am, and I do not seek to please others, in a way that may change things which fundamentally defines me as a person.
If you or anyone does not welcome me, I leave. No need to contest.
A real friend accepts the good and the bad that comes with the person.
A real good neighbour does the same. I am not there yet.
Maybe my neighbour LOVES me, but she is too shy to say so.
PS: Thanks Dave.
You sound like me, 24 months ago..
Please stop.
Ask Dave and Lob...
This is not amateur psychologist's hour again. You are posting real details about an encounter with a real person. Bad idea. Ok you may be trying to illustrate something (perception-reality gap presumably), but in doing so you are overstepping the mark in my opinion. If you want to make such a point then at least be hypothetical.
I understand exactly what you are saying and even the patronising tone of it.
dave
I had wanted to get to know HAT personally, but after Salsalovers comments, I think he is a nasty person.
krlock3
yes, this was a joke.
If you damage some of my things, then I will offer you a free beer.
Promise.
I'd be gentle too.
HAT
I too am a homeowner here and feel totally for you and the frustrations you have to endure but even the slightest aggression shown to your neighbors will only be meet with elevated aggression from them. The Swiss live in a country which is very cramp and many of them are claustrophobic, when backed into a corner they can and will become very aggressive which will not bring about any solutions to your problems. Remember, you are the new kid on the block and they have home turf advantage. You have to learn how to manipulate them without their knowledge and don't expect changes to happen over night, it wont. I have some neighbors that are stereotypical "Swiss" but they think I'm the greatest neighbor they ever had only because I went out of my way to understand what it was that they really wanted out of me as a neighbor.
Just give it a few years, before you know it you and your new neighbors together will be giving some other new neighbor a hard time till they learn to fall in line as well..
I think you are missing the point about "free beer", do a search and learn what it's all about.
I tried, I am dumb. Educate me...
Go to "Off Topic" forum. I know, you usually float about in Complaints Corner but there is a whole other world out there. In "OT" there is a sub-forum "Jokes and Funnies". Click on that and look for the thread "Free Beer". Or Just click on new posts, I'm sure someone has written a new one in the last couple of minutes.
Classic mental model.
I have also some other things to do....except browsing the Complaints Corner.
I have to water my burnt hedges....
HAT
Yes, CATS is the other problem. Putting chemical is no good, cos I have 2 toddlers.
I have a sonic device, but this cat comes anyway.
Also this device consumes 2 D-size batteries, per month. ($$$)
Grated orange peels, how do i prepare them?
Chilli flakes? Buy them from migros?
Please advise.
HAT
Surely you jest! How could it be clearer?
a) Soak them in Free Beer overnight.
b) I hear that Migros are offering free beer tokens with chilli flakes at the moment. This should help with a)
UPDATE: 29 June 2008 (Sunday).
For only those interested to know.
Just 2 days ago, after my "acting" around the burnt hedges, the family next door (couple), actually gathered around the said hedge and were seen to be talking about it. My wife said maybe they are now aware "we are aware" of the damage.
On Sunday I was taking an afternoon nap, preparing for a BBQ at 1800hrs with a neighbour (we invited them).
At 1730, my wife woke me up, and said "they are burning the hedges again with the BBQ".
When I heard this, I calmed myself down, and then walked outside to the garden. Yes indeed this man is setting up his BBQ at exactly the same spot.
His wife was in the front garden, while he was at the side of the house.
Looking a little apologetic and sheepish, I uttered these words to the wife, "excuse me, may I say something?" . She was smiling and she walked towards me, closer to listen.
I said, " I think your BBQ will dry the Thujas and maybe even kill it. ".
On hearing this (from afar), the man shouted back something to the wife, and she explained that the hedges were ALREADY brown and that her husband said it is not his fault. (sure, he can hear me from 15m away? I think he knew what I was talking about even without listening)
To this, I replied " its ok about the brown leaves now, but I only hope in the future the BBQ is not so close, because the heat is very great ".
The woman, still smiling, shrugged her shoulders and said to her husband something, to the effect that he moves the BBQ to the ground level (grass). (So natural, that I suspect she knew this coming all along)
I quickly disappeared into my house, re-emerging 5 mins later, the man "angrily" (or rather assertively) told me, " see , I now move the BBQ away from your plants..." rather unpleasantly too.
So, I still conclude this. Although I spoke out and they responded (somewhat unwillingly and defensively), but it was really a test of the civic consideration of this neighbour. Am I stupid or are they inconsiderate?
I asked another neighbour to take a look at the hedges (quietly and secretly), he agreed with me it was obvious the hedges were BURNT and not died on its own. He also advised me not to make a ruckus but to stomach it.
I agreed with him, but explained also why I felt so angry.
Some people, you just can't reach...
At end of evening, I saw them angrily pointing to the hedges and discussing something. I appeared and ran towards them, explaining to them "please don't be mad, I only say things directly."
They smiled back (rather in an acting mode), saying "no no, its ok, you can say things to us..."
Sigh.
That is the update. Please do not post unkind words against me, I have had enough for this event.
HAT
I'm glad they didn't burn your tree's again Hat, even if they didn't react with good grace. Hope this is the end of this particular saga for you.
Classic - not only do they clearly know that they have burned your hedge they figure that since you didn't complain about it they can just go and do it again .
Then when you do complain about it, it's time to deny all knowledge and give you the surly attitude and evil eye.
I must commend you HAT on the mature way of handling things
I know how difficult it is to be civil with people who are totally uncivil
I sincerly hope you are not troubled by them and your bushes are safe now.
do what my Swiss neighbour did and throw a bucket of water over the grill.
this was done from the first floor down into my garden.
boy that really set me off