PS: Blimey there's some quick typers around here, two answers to AbFab's post appeared whilst I was trying to write my one :-)
Well as a parent I can say that I do actually agree with you - up to a point. Clearly not everyone will be charmed by your own "little treasures" and this must be remembered, I think the OP was aware of this since she asked the child to stop. The issue here is really what seems to be an inappropriate overreaction by the gentlemen in question. He was quite within his rights to feel annoyed but a more suitable reaction would have been to ask the parent to please stop the child doing whatever it was that annoyed him, threatening to hit a 3 year old isn't acceptable.
Slapping the child is considered perfectly normal in many civilised (and uncivilised) parts of the worlds. In some parts of the world it is sufficient to tell misbehaving child that it will get a slap unless it stops - and it works [1] (and that could be the way of thinking of the gentleman mentioned in the opening)
[1] - of course the child has to know what the slap is and how it feels.
Blinkin' eck! I used to get a slap for stealing cakes or beating up my sister not being lovey dovey with people on public transport!!
What kind of message does it give a three year old if mum lets some old git slap her (or threaten to slap her) for being, in her eyes, nice??
at least the guy was not pedofil and said "yes"
Please bear in mind that grumpy old man only threatened, did not actually put his hands anywhere near the kid. And so words are just words, plus there is a language barrier /vocabulary to bear in mind.
Sure it's excessive, I would have not reacted lîke this myself, but I'm all in with AbFab that parents should respect other people's space (and teaching their kids to do so as well) when in tight public spaces like the tram. It's not the little girl at fault, it's the parent.
ok, basically maybe... yes. but how in the world you/old man come across the idea to hit a 3 yr. old? whats against to say: excuse me, can you please take your child back/under control? i think twiglet would have done that anyhow and after being asked immediately as no one wants somebody being annoyed with something. its stupid and if he would have done this...i would have kissed him the glasgow way
is/was twiglet saying that she wants her child to do this?
its simply a complaint about that overreaction. and that was it.
And your back up links would be...?
but this guy is not his parents and nobody apart from myself (if EVER) has the right to ever tell off or touch my child.
As I, and few other people had already pointed out - this might be due to cultural differences - is some countries telling:
a) "stop it or you'll be slapped"
b) "excuse me, can you please take your child back/under control?"
is pretty much equivalent. Sometimes a) is better because in case b) you can get into really boring discussion with over-permissive parent about his/hers 'angel'
As for touching I agree (and I have never stated that the 'grumpy old man' had any right to hit the child).
As for telling off - anyone will tell off your child given the certain limits of tolerance are reached. And that's perfectly normal (and will not happen if you have at least tiny bit of common sense).
i dont think that this is the case in switzerland/middle europe at all.
first i want that the guy if i am around to tell me to take care of things. as far as i got it twiglet was busy taking the pram out, so no hands free.
wtf? talking about common sense and this guy did not have any.
I would say the exact opposite is true!
I was thinking the same thing actually. Maybe the guy was just trying to be funny and got his English a bit wrong. In light of what the OP told us her daughter had done/said, i.e. "I want to marry you" well, it could be a possibility....
From http://www.kaimh.org/corporal.htm
I believe that a quick, sharp slap is acceptable for bad behaviour but not on a child as young as three who thinks she is just being nice or friendly. Punishment only works if the child knows what they are doing is wrong or naughty.
I have found CH to be a very child-friendly country with great schools (probably the best in the world) and infrastructure in place for children. I've also found most people to be very tolerant and nice to kids. Grumpy old man must have been the exception to the rule.
I beg to disagree. If I compare the three parts of Europe I know very well; north, central and south, central is by far the most "child hostile" part. And as for threatening to hit a child, well in Northern Europe that would probably get you convicted actually so very few people would even dream of saying something like that in public and even less to an unknown child.
... which is of course up to the parents to decide how they want to punish their kids.
But a stranger having a go at one's own kid, will never go down well, for nobody I think.
Raschpa, I think you first need to back up why you think there are issues around child care in Switzerland. It's the second generalisation you've made in the thread.......