I am sorry to hear about what you have experienced in the tram recently. I am Swiss, and know my own people and the sometimes difficult mentality in this country.
I could tell you a couples of similar storys which are shocking and it makes me still angry sometimes when it comes up.
Just one example and how I solved it with success: My boy was playing football with other kids on a playground meadow in our estate, a elderly man came out of the nearby flat house at 5pm summer and telling them to go off. By accident I was on the road outside when the whole group of young kids came to me and told me , they have been told to get off. By accident the man came also because a child left a shirt , I have taken the chance to confrote him with what right he told them to get off , he told me that it is forbidden to play football there and only small kids under 10 are aloud. I told him then I am going to check this subject with he police. He became smaller and told me,,oh not necessary to do that", I insisted and told him yes I am going to do that. I almost shouted at him and suddendly he left. Then the day after some kids were playing again and he kept quite. Also I made a research with the estate owner and the kids have the permission to play there. So far just one sick story .
I have lived in England /London in 2006 and never i have experienced such things there in contrary my child and me we felt free and accepted. But important to "survive" in Switzerland is to have good friends , a possitive attidude and do not take it to hard , even if it is easy to say. I wish you good luck and possitive experiences!!!
As a mum of two little ones, my day is spent trying to teach my children how to behave in what I feel to be an acceptable manner. I am under no illusions that anyone else would be enchanted by the antics of my little angels, and certainly understand why there were less than sympathetic postings regarding the need for personal space on public transport.
The man's anger was of course directed at me. I do not know whether it was an empty threat to help vent his anger and to frighten me or whether he would have carried it out. Either way, to me it is an unacceptable thing to say. I am just glad my daughter didn't understand. It would not be an issue if he had simply ranted at me for allowing my daughter to behave in an unacceptable way. I would have agreed with him!! It was the very real possibility that this man, who I believe to be in no way a monster, simply old fashioned in his beliefs towards discipline, would hurt my child, who had encountered nothing but encouragement from other people for the same behaviour.
If the tram had been less packed, I could have had a better conversation with her about respecting people's space. As it was, I could not compete with the laughs from the other passengers. My main priority at that time, as I was under the illusion nobody had been harmed or too offended was to make sure i could hold onto her tightly enough, as there was no where for her to hold onto. I had asked her to stop, but admittedly it was quite half-hearted.
I still believe this country to be a wonderful place to raise children and this has been the only time I have encountered anything like this. My dilemma is, up until now I have raved to others about teenagers having far more respect for others, the friendliness, the cleanliness etc etc. but if this is how it is achieved then I am not sure how to deal with it.
My response in german was actually quite polite (although I did burst into tears the moment he got off ) and agreed with him that yes as a three year old "Sie muss lernen" but she did not understand how it could be o.k. to stroke one persons arm and not anothers and even three year olds do not listen all the time to their parents especially after a hectic day at the fair & on a packed tram!
I work with children, but that doesn't mean I want some random kid on the tram coming up to me and touching me.
The thought of threatening a child with violence, however, utterly disgusts me.
If one finds oneself in a situation like this, the solution is quite simple: Look the child in the eye, don't smile, and simply say: "I don't like that. Please stop." Most children, confronted by a straight (not an angry) face, and a plain declaration of displeasure from a stranger, will stop at this point.
Should s/he continue, take the matter to the parents, again remaining polite: "Please ask your child to stop doing that. I don't like it." Most normal people will respond appropriately and act to stop the child's behaviour.
If it continues, move away. Simple as that.
Unless she is a heavily armed dwarf, a three foot tall human being, no matter how snot-smeared she might be, is no threat to you whatsoever.
Even if you can't stand the sight of children, surely some sense of perspective should be maintained?
How should I know what to say to him?
.... and tied to a tree. in a Kinderkrippe, no less
Anyway, this is off-topic enough, so I'll pm you...
1. Fight
2. Faint
3. Flee
4. Forgive
The responses in this thread have wordily reflected all 4 variants. Some have extrapolated this incident to generalizations on all Swiss.
The behavior of the old man was atrocious. Nevertheless, I as a Christian would forgive him.
I remember having the last word & him looking pretty sheepish but most importantly, my daughter had no idea how I was, in fact was pretty oblivious to it all.
I've written before about being shocked by methods of discipline here. So I suppose this thread really was to ask how do I deal with this in my mind if this is the norm in a country which I have chosen to live in and in which on the whole I find politer & more respectful than the U.K. I feel incredibly sad & protective to think my children could be out in public and be on the receiving end of such venom.