It's one thing to disagree with a poster due to a topic or feel provoked by a poster and respond to it, it's another thing to be terrorized or stalked by someone without knowing why.
I'd like to open Pandora's box and talk about it.
Thoughts?
There's been abuse of posters happening on this forum. I have been called names, red blobbed, etc. just because another poster felt like it. There are have been other posters as well who have been unnecessarily hassled.
Merry Christmas...
This is the most violent form of abuse on the forum....
We (the Mods) can't be everywhere all the time to see abuse happening. If it does exist then it's up to the member who feels they are being abused to report such offenses. If a member feels they are being unfairly attacked by another member then they should use the Report button in the upper right hand corner of each post to alert the Mods. Depending on the seriousness of the reported post we may do nothing initially but if we see a pattern developing we will take a more serious look at the problem. The same button is also available in all PM's you receive but when a member sends a report the Mods will then have the ability to read the offensive PM in the report (and no, Mods can't read PM's otherwise).
And I second AbFab's comment.. Merry Christmas
Thank you, Mods.
Quite occasionally members come to me and tell me that after complaining To the mods, some refuse to take actions and resolve the situation. So to who someone should turn if a mod doesn't want to deal with the situation?
Never had even a whisper of a problem with other posters. I guess I am too soft to attract nasty PMs or red blobs .
The Mods are not going to spring into action every time someone makes an off the cuff remark. More often than not the problem is nothing more than a poster's ability to communicate or express themselves via the written word and/or the reader's ability to interpret said writings.
I used a few times the "warning" icon to report a post by someone who was aggressive/offensive...but never heard of any reaction from the moderators. I stopped using it actually.
Ok, but between you (a mod) and the member, it is two very different point of views. So should both be taking into consideration? It can be indeed what you say, but it can also be something else, no?
As members we try to put ourselves in your moderator shoes and see how much work mods have. As mod, to be able to put yourself in the other person's shoes regarding this exact situation can be very much appreciated.
Just a thought...
Me too. And like you, I didn't see anything really hapeNning except for spam.
Actually there's a minimum of 3 points of view, the writer, the reader and the Mod (who's trying to stay neutral). Add to that more Mods and more readers (not forgetting many are not native English speakers) and all you end up is with more misunderstandings and confusion.
I don't remember anyone saying, life was easy.. but we make it work to the best of our ability (Mods included).
Nicely said, can't really argue on that, can I? Damned!
Well, if anyone feels they have been abused by poster and are either afraid of reporting it or are not getting the response from the mods as hoped, please feel free to contact me. I'm quite willing to listen to your story and will try to help if I can.
+1 (this message is too short)
The reaction might have been there, but it wasn't communicated, maybe, it does happen.
Reporting abuse is never taking lightly, to my best knowledge. It gets considered. Now, there are moments when the reporting member might have triggered some response, so the blame is not clear cut, and I think that's when we tend to wait, or not react since dishing out and taking it is such normal part of online life, we might expect people just to get on with it..For us to stay neutral, too, we need a distance, and that sometimes means time.
I remember dealing with reports of "abuse" when that constituted one red blobby after the reporting member actually called the "abuser" pretty ugly names in public.
I wouldn't sweat the occasional jab, we all have members who we prefer and those who we tend to disagree, and members quickly figure it out. The art is not to let that infuence posting. When I post opinion, I don't need crownies thanking me, nor the same usual people disagreeing, I'd feel gangs of friends or enemies would eventually discredit my opinions..But there are pulls and pushes, and online posting makes one exposed way more. Online is pretty much a radio broadcast to those who switch it on.
Personal issues are good to first try to resolve with the member, then if things continue and you actually do see a pattern, report.
Now, it is good to have this on mind when posting, too. Online patterns are interesting. Chicks with lascivious online behavior will get into troubles more often than those who word things differently. People throwing vulgarities will sooner or later get similar response. Those who provoke will most likely get to taste their own medicine sooner or later. Sharing personal stories and details online, or leading folks on, will expose one to a lot more than just sharing per oral on an event. We are all here for whatever reasons, so our behavior will be different.
And that kind of responsibility we all have in our own hands.
(can I have a mod wish from Santa, would admin automatically newbies with real names? thanks)
Ok. My house has flu. I will continue being sick, which means if there is any online abuse happening these few days, I will actually be around to offer an ear. Or, inbox, rather.
When a forum legend lies and demeans openly, you can be sure no action will be taken. But most of them are off to the other forum anyway, so that should be settled :-D
Same with French bashing, it doesn't shock anybody but me. So I just adapt and bash the French too: to me, it's Eudipus all over again, so it's fun. Why other bashings are forbidden and action taken? Don't ask me.
Faltrad, I disagree with online status giving some extra protection, not in my world...If there are scenarios when it could look some way, we are always open to explain, if the request comes in good will. Nobody likes witch hunts, and we tend to be also busy with other stuff, but decent well meant questions always get an answer, or I try, if I am busy I move it over to a colleague.
The French bashing..I don't like either and I have zapped a few trying to be funny this way. But also realize, this forum being very Anglophone, French bashing happens to be some culture's fav past time, it can be shocking, ill taste to downright hilarious. I think some of the OTT French bashing posts were actually jokes. It's like when I say to hell with Yanks or Jews, when obviously, I am one and almost one.
Back to the abuse, unrequested pms could be also considered abusive. Bear that in mind when contacting a member who hasn't requested to be contacted. More so, if your unrequested pm has a dubious content or language.
It's funny but after reading the different Mods answers I get the impression that the one reporting the abuse is 50% guilty.
I second Faltrad's remarks and experienced similar situations.
Nope, but people reporting are sometimes guilty, unfortunately true, and it does not help us help them.
If someone gets abuses from someone who didn't like to be groaned or bad rep, it is not acceptable. Having someone telling you that you deserved it because you groaned or bad rep is a pity answer and goes against the forum rules.
If one should expect abuses as a normal reaction for using the rep system, well it should been take off the system.