Today I learned that a good friend is leaving Switzerland to go back to the States. It's funny but I've lived here for nearly 15 years and having a lot of ex-pat friends you would think I'd get used to the fact that people leave here and go back where they came from after x number of years.
But actually I think this is the first time that someone leaving has felt so bad (for me I mean - great for her and her family obviously - I'm happy for her). She's kind of part of the furniture here (in the nicest possible way) and I just feel really gutted that she'll be gone - and quite soon - she's leaving in 2 months. We've shared a lot of the baby/toddler/kids going to school stuff. I'll miss her a lot - her laughing and joking and fun loving attitude.
So, how do you all manage people leaving? Does it happen a lot in your circle of friends? How do you get over it?
It's left me feeling really sad. And also a little homesick too I must say (although I'm British and she's American so it's not that I wish I was going where she is, just that I envy her "going home" if that makes sense.... .)
[Sigh] midnight ramblings on EF - just what you needed eh!
people come and go all the times so you get used to it. plus it helps to think not of losing a friend, but having free accommodation when you go overseas!
I do know as well as understand the situation you're in. Having experienced that a number of times and will in the future as it seems.
However put it this way, it has never been as easy as these days to keep in touch with people a million miles away. emails are faster than letters ever were. Skype let's you see and talk to them as they would be in the same room.
Surely that's not same as it is right now,but it does help.
Time will tell,even if it sounds lame.
Plus with estimated 33trillion people living on this planet, there will always be another opportunity around the corner. You live,you meet people everyday. Your relation to them will be the same, as they are with your friend leaving soon. But these things develop in time,again.
You wouldn't miss them if you weren't homesick, you would be wishing themall the best. So take a trip home, it is possible ( although unlikely- because I live her and the States is the best country in the world ) that you have romanticized the US.
You never know they might return, even I have to return to Switzerland at some point. At least there is free Wifi in CH now so I can be in touch wherever I go. I'd die without it.
15 years is a long time. It is possible that had you been living in the US, such friends might also move to another State. I tend to find the "expat" movers last max 5 years. Beyond that, moving around is not expat related, if that makes any sense.
I have been through this last year. Our friends left and with them, a lot of the fun of here too. It was the kind of friends that we don't find in every corner.
It is difficult especially if both in the couple were having a great relation with both of the other couple. And with the kids... We both had a daughter in the same time (a week appart) and we went through the whole learning process together. We were spending a lot of time all together, never a need to organised something, a lot of last minutes meetings, very easy going, etc.
Sigh!
I miss them a lot. It didn't make me home sick, because I have no home (like home country) anymore (my home is where hubby and kids are, Oh, and the cat) But it did make me want to get out of here. Because for me, our friends were helping me to make this place more bearable. I have other friends but it isn't the same.
We met a couple recently that I can see becoming very good friends of us. I'll be sad when we move because of all those friends we have. But they are all expats and I know that even if we were going to stay here, we will eventually see them leave one by one...
A lot of my friends went back to their country. 4 to the US, 2 to Australia, even more to the UK...
It hurts. But all of them have a much better life at home.
Sadly I have not much or any contact to most of them anymore.
I am leaving Switzerland after 26(!) years in 5 weeks.
Most of my friends act a bit strange, they are very upset.
Today it's easy to stay in touch. I know it's like someone takes away a part of you, but enjoy every minute, not like my friends who turn their backs on me.
Sometimes people have to go back home. So, give her any support she needs.
I just learned (via Facebook) that I guy I know just moved back to Canada after 25 years or so here. Retired NLA hockey player, unfortunately his businesses here never worked out after retirement from sports. Pity, he's a nice guy, and will be missed by many.
You know, the thing is I know that if I was living back home then friends would be coming and going moving house, moving jobs, moving on etc. and it's not really that different being here. It's just that people tend to go a long way from here when they do go.
I know I know, of course we'll keep in touch on facebook and email and maybe see each other once every 5 years and I have plenty of friends back home who I don't see for years on end who are still my best friends.
It is always easier when you're the one who goes away because you're heading to something new but it is also difficult to think about all the friends you're leaving behind and facebook/Skype/emails are not replacing face to face conversations. I will soon leave Switzerland and I'll miss the friends and colleagues that I won't see again before a long time (I'm going to Singapore) but I am also looking forward to it. And as Cata1yst was saying I'll be back one day
I know it's hard to accept the fact that someone you get along so well with won't be around anymore.. but soon you'll see things won't be as bad as they seem now. I've seen many people leave in my life and I myself left many behind, too, but I definitely don't think one can ever get to used to "losing a friend" especially when it comes to someone you like so much.
Wish them all your best as a good friend that you are, be happy for them and keep in touch with them. They're probably having the time of their life in Switzerland now, all excited about going back home and enjoying this place more than ever before. After all, some day it may be you.
The older you get the harder it gets because you realise that real true friends you can count on 1 hand (the sort you can tell everything)and even though its nice to meet new people its hard to find and keep the real friends (maybe we should all tell people how much they mean)
Hurah for the last comment, nothing is forever...I am leaving next month but who knows when I will be back and with the ease of comms now its easy to keep in touch
Oh yeah, it is a coming and going here like in any other part of the world too. Me thinks, it is the roots that you feel. Even being here for such a long time, an expat is an expat. I have many friends who became swiss citizens but still they do feel different. Home is where your heart is and maybe that is the reason why she has left. Nothing to worry about as I hope you still have her as a close friend and like all others say: a bed when you decide to visit her
Most of our friends aren't going anywhere, but I have clients leave and there are always mixed feelings, those happy to be moving elsewhere but leaving friends behind. I think it helps to look at it as an excuse to have somewhere to travel and visit good friends. It is easy to keep in touch over the internet but visiting somewhere where you have never been and having friends to stay with is a real bonus.