Pregnant American, father Swiss, not married, how do we proceed?

Family, Education, Health and Pets
1
I'm American and my boyfriend is Swiss, we are going to be having a baby in February here and I want to prepare. We do not plan to marry any time soon, but he will absolutely take on all paternal responsibilities. So I am wondering about the necessary paperwork. I am also wondering what my rights will be, if later I want to leave the country with my child. I assume this is easier if we are not married, but what about if the child has his last name? I am thinking of insisting that the child take my last name for that very reason. I want to make sure nothing can impede my ability to live somewhere else if I decide that is what is best for my child and me. I appreciate any advice, and does anyone know an English speaking lawyer who deals with these kinds of issues?

2
If you are not married, the child gets your last name, there is no choice.

Only paperwork is to fill in his name on the birth certificate.

You will need his permission to travel outside the country, married or not.

Tom

3
Back in 2004 i was PG with my 1st born. My then boyfriend, now husband, had to sign a declaration that he recognised my son as his, this had to be done before the birth of the child. We were told if he did not do this before the birth he would have to go through the lengthy and expensive process of adopting his own son.

If the father did not sign this paper the child would not be allowed to have his name, he would have no custodial rights, he would not even be named on the birth certificate.The law may have changed since then.

PS when we did it my husband just informed himself in the local gemeide who then gave him the right paper work and he had to go to the bit were they do civil marriages to register his signature, no lawyers needed.

4
this is correct, but if the father signs the declaration of paternity his name can be added to the child's name upon marriage (which is what we did).

This is incorrect. I have taken my children to Portugal several times without their father, not once was i asked permission from the father at either airport. This would be very impractical if you a family were one goes shopping in Germany of France and takes the little one with them, always writing permissions. Maybe you would need written permission to take the child out of the EU, but within the EU you can travel freely with your child without the fathers permission, not saying that if you do not return they won't hunt you down though.

5
You can only move with the child under limited circumstances, married or not, he is the father and has just as much rights as you do.

Options to leave are:

- if you have a court order giving you sole custody,

- if the father agrees that you can leave with his child

- if the father gives up his rights to the child.

If none of these are true then you will always need the father's permission to leave the country with the child.

6
Well, you certainly need it for travel to/from the US, even if you are married (and not both traveling with the child)!

Anyway, I should ask my stepson about the name thing, as he's not married, but as far as I know his son has his last name (or perhaps they just use it).

Tom

7
Just curious, do the same rules apply if both parents are Swiss?

One of my husband's colleagues ran into this, where he and the mother of the child were not married. He was told (sorry, I do not know by whom) that he had NO rights to the child whatsoever unless he was married to the mother. Needless to say they got married and have since had another kiddo so it all worked out.

Yoga it sounds like you have some real concerns about this relationship lasting, so you are wise to do some research now. Good luck.

8
Nonsense, I know of several people who have had children out of wedlock, both parents Swiss, and the father always had rights (and responsibilities).

Tom

9
So each time I have travelled out of Switzerland with my son (and without my Swiss husband) I should have shown some sort of permission slip from my husband? I have never once been asked for this and I have travelled both within and outside the EU with him.

None of my son's friends' seem to have been through this, either, whilst travelling with just one parent.

Is there a link to the supporting information for this?

EDIT: Do you mean leave as in "one way ticket"? As in moving out of Switzerland for good? Not just summer holidays abroad and Christmas home with the family?

10
Hmm. I'm not sure about travel within the EU.

I guess I'm thinking more if she decides she wants to move to the US with her child without the consent of the father. At that point she risks an international child kidnapping case!

But there is another member here who is currently divorcing and if IIRC she moved to the EU from CH and her husband has filed an international abduction case against her.

EDIT: Yes. I did say "move with the child".

But here is the info on one parent traveling with a child to the US.

https://help.cbp.gov/app/answers/det...ot-a-parent-or

11

I believe the law is changing in the new year. As your baby is due is February you will be able to choose.

http://www.revue.ch/mitteilungen-en?addComment=1

12
Not being funny, but you say he is your boyfriend, yet your already planning your escape route, from the outside this doesn't sound like a very stable relationship

13
This is going to sound harsh, but in the overwhelming majority of cases, what is best for your child is to be in regular contact with BOTH parents. This does not mean that they have to be married by the way.

14
It's not your decision in the same way it's not (only) your child. You should have gone to a sperm bank if you want a child without a father.

15
Permission is implied. If you travel with your children, it's assumed that anyone else who has legal responsibility for the children is aware of your plans. If you have the same surname, it's less likely to be queried than if you are travelling with a child who has another name. When my kids travel internationally with their grandparents, we always give them a copy of the children's documents, health insurance, and a letter that states who we are, where our children are travelling with/to and how to contact us if there are any questions as to their status...

If your boyfriend/husband/ex-partner did not want you to travel with the child outside Switzerland, they can put a block on the child's passport. It's a very simple procedure and if you were then to try to travel, you would be considered to be kidnapping the child.

We have family members who have blocked passports. I know someone with a New Zealand passport who was not given permission to move Cantons, let alone countries, with her children, and I certainly know someone who was blocked from taking her children from Switzerland to Ireland... so it's a very real problem. Oh, and I also know a German citizen, unmarried, whose ex signed the paternity papers, and he won't let her move to take up a job in Switzerland with their daughter...she regrets every having him sign the paternity papers!

16
It would be good for you to have a conversation with a Swiss attorney

that specializes in family law.

Most of the amateur attorneys on this board probably don't the the

full extent of the law.

On another note, you may want to register your kid as a US citizen

upon birth at the embassy in Bern.

17
No, but if the father of your child has said "you may not take little Johnny out of the country", and you do it anyway, then you are breaking the law.

The purpose of the law is not to impede travel, but to try to protect the rights of both parents and the child. It seems pretty clear and fair to me.

18
I don't think that anyone is claiming to have listed all points of relevant law. However, these are things for the OP to investigate and be aware of considering what ideas she seems to have.

EF is certainly not an encyclopedia.

19
Hello yogadivadoc,

I have a question about your citizenship are you Swiss or a permit holder.

As an Americian native I guess your are either naturalised or a permit c or mabye Swiss through one of your parents??

If you are not Swiss and the father does not appear on the birth cert then your child would be american and a permit holder.

Your child would then have a American passport.

Regards

John

20
The status of the father doesn't affect the child's US citizenship, it depends solely on if at least one parent is a US citizen AND has spent the required number of years living in the US.

Tom