I am unable to easily travel to other countries just to shop for a ring, I know they will likely be cheaper elsewhere but it is hard to explain to my GF yes I have to go to some country for 2 days for something.
Thank you for the help.
I am looking to purchase an engagement ring. I do not want to go for a very traditional look. I do not know where to even search in Switzerland. I am looking for a more organic looking band/setting. Budget is 4 digits, only 5 if it is something truly extraordinary and already 50% off.
You could purchase something online, from outside of Switzerland. Go with something they have or get them to custom make something.
Some of my fav sites are
rareearthjewelry.com
juliapharo.com
hkjewellery.co.uk
There are lots of great sellers on etsy.com too (where I found some of the above) just be sure to read the reviews.
Edit: HKjewellery have custom made some really non traditional wedding sets. Maybe they are the kind of jewellers you are looking for. Remember that an unusual engagement ring will probably need an unusual matching wedding band.
Or they have this: https://hkjewellery.co.uk/proposal-gift-pack which is a really cool idea.
(Sorry I'm a bit ring obsessed).
I did buy mine on Bluenile.
Very good service, lots of choices, much cheaper than shops in the Switzerland.
Would def recommend to anybody.
They also do free return and free repair if you need it.
Thank you for the links.
How do you size a ring online without the significant other finding out? String around the finger while they sleep? Try to find a matching ring they already own and measure it?
I was nervous of buying online because I do not get to see the ring and hold/feel it (I am the opposite of ring obsessed so it is like shopping for elephant saddles to me, no experience).
This reads as if the ring is going to be a surprise - is that the case?
If so - and please forgive an old lady for sticking her nose in - but do you really want to pick out a ring without your GF's input?
I am one of those who doesn't wear jewelry, dislikes rings in particular. Thank doG OH proposed on the spur of the moment, without a ring.
Had he picked out a ring on his own one of us would have ended up disappointed, either me the afore-mentioned jewelry-phobe, or he would have been crestfallen because he would have put his heart and soul (and a good chunk of fortune) into choosing something that I wouldn't have properly appreciated.
Luckily spontaneity meant we dodged that bullet. 28 years of marital bliss later...
Perhaps propose first and then find a ring together - especially if you are after something non-traditional.
(One of the more charming proposal stories in the family: When my nieces's fiance proposed he tied a ribbon around her finger after popping the question. They later went to look at rings together, and found that suited her/them perfectly. She still cherishes that ribbon - and it now adorns their baby's christening gown. )
If you and your GF are already on the same page wrt rings, then ignore me.
---
Much happiness for your futures together.
Your advice is sound, no matter the situation. I've tried to get her input on rings, and that's the direction she's leading me in, but I would much rather find a way to propose and then choose the ring together.
You aren't the first person to mention this, and I think it might be better to listen (and eternally less stressful, I don't like to stress about a physical object when the reality is there's something much bigger to focus on).
Perhaps the serendipitous moment will be there and I'll find ribbon of my own.
MC's got some good advice there. Two friend stories to share:
1. A friend proposed to his girlfriend using a ring he carefully selected and thought she'd love. She hated it and actually said she wouldn't marry him if it meant wearing that hunk of junk every day of her life. They went and found a new ring together, but he was stung by her rejection of his thoughtful gift and many of their mutual friends thought she was being petty.
2. Another friend proposed to his girlfriend using a multi-vitamin. Yep, he was down on one knee with a vitamin in a ring box. After the girlfriend got over the shock, my friend said something along the lines of her making him a healthier and better person and she got all mushy and thought it was so clever. They shopped together for rings, and are still married 15 years later.
Have to agree. Hubby proposed, but we didn’t get a ring until we were on holiday a few weeks later down in the Pyrenees. I saw a ring that I liked in a jewellers there, it fitted so he bought it. If he’d gone for the traditional “diamond ring” I would probably have been disappointed since I’m not keen on them, prefering coloured stones. My engagement ring consists of a row of emeralds with very small diamonds along both sides.
I very much wanted to pick my own ring too. Thats why I think the HKjewellery proposal gift pack is a cool idea. Or you could put together something similar yourself.
No engagement ring here, a spontaneous proposal while on a riverside stroll. I dislike diamond rings on top of that (he knows) and I wear bare minimum jewelry if at all. Big diamond ring would not have done it, if particularly blingy and obnoxious it would have warranted a "do you know me at all??????" with possible hurt feelings on both sides, etc. Not pleasant.
Therefore, I vote for "pick the ring together to make sure she likes it" and that goes with ensuring it's the right size. We did just that with the design of our wedding bands, which we got made to order. My husband hinted at wanting to buy me a ring with my birthstone (emerald) - I am on the fence but if we do that, we'll likely also pick the design together.
I refuse to buy diamonds, everything about the De Beers diamond cartel makes me angry. What a con! Diamonds are not rare or valuable.
Same for us for our wedding bands. We saw a design we liked at the jeweller my husband’s family have used for years and so had them made up there. My ring was made from his grandmother’s ring and iirc hubby’s was made from one of his father’s gold rings.
Just a short question: Does she have the same cultural background has you have? Because if she is for example Swiss a big rock is most likely the wrong way to go (and also shows that you may not really know the girl).
Just told that story to my OH and he says it proves that they both have similar values. I agree.
Your heart is clearly in the right place.
I've been engaged twice Both times were a complete surprise and I was more than happy with both rings even though I didn't choose them. With my ex-husband, we choose our wedding rings together in Austria, a week before we married there, so that they would feel part of the place.
Would it be possible to propose on a weekend away and go to choose the ring the same day? That way, you could have a look at the websites of jewellers in the area before you arrive, and have an idea what's on offer.
Totally de-railing OP's thread here, sorry. Be careful with emerald rings. It's not a durable stone and can easily chip or crack if the stone is large or has many flaws that were oil-filled, particularly any flaws along facets. Several smaller stones like Medea described would be a safer choice if you want emerald. If you want colored stones that are durable for rings, sapphire and ruby are best (9 on the Mohs scale).
We spontaneously decided to get married one day. Now, we can't recall the details, but it was almost exactly 23 years ago. At first I just wanted a wedding band. But then we went ring shopping and found rings we really like and i have an engagement ring and a wedding band. I bought my then fiancee a watch as an engagement present. I think it's so much better to do it together. And we're married 22 years. Good luck!
Not only is she petty, she's an outright bia-tch.
From where I'm standing, my OH could give me any ring he wants and I'd like it because I care about him and not a damn piece of jewelry. Matter of fact I wouldn't expect one at all. I also second the comment about cultural differences, Swiss used to not really do engagement rings, and from what I understand it's still often just one ring for both engagement and marriage rather than two as in many other parts of the world.
Then again, admittedly, most women from many cultures make a big freaking deal about noth the proposal and the ring, so OP, I agree with others, if you even for a second think you are not a 100% sure about what she might like, if the ring is something that could potentially be very important to her, if you can't find a subtle way of finding out what she might like without her getting suspicious, then go with an alternative (I like the ribbon idea) and then pick out a ring together. If only to avoid a situation as described above by 3Wishes.
At least you get to return the ring and dodge a bullet at the same time!
For the proposal, use one of these.
I know people who've done this or similar. Then go and choose the rings together.
I proposed to my wife without a ring, then we chose one together. And wedding rings. We were poor students, so those weren't able to choose anything like what you're looking at. Later the engagement ring was replaced with an antique Victorian ring, with amethyst, diamond, opal, ruby and emerald stones. Later still we bought replacement weddings rings for our 25th wedding anniversary a few years ago. We got those from Brighton, England, which is where I recommend you go. Take a week if you want something bespoke, but there's plenty of non-traditional places. The place we bought from offered to make up the ring overnight if the ones they had in stock weren't the right size.
What is an organic looking band??