Sleep Consultant recommendations?

[emetic]

Hi all

After almost 9 months of our baby son waking up on average 8 times per night, having read many books, had literally scores of suggestions and tips, been referred to Sleep Clinic at Unispital (horrendous experience, admitted us to hospital for 6 days and then recommended that we 'do what we feel comfortable with as every baby is different'), tried controlled crying, co-sleeping, cutting naps......WE ARE TIRED.

Anyone have a recommendation for a sleep coach/expert who can, maybe, come to our home and help us get a handle on the lack of zzzzzzzzz's?

Yours, in exhaustion,

Annie

[Hagatg]

Try the Kinderspital:

http://www.kispi.uzh.ch/Kinderspital...edizin_en.html

[Kpetrizi]

What happens when you ignore the constant calls or crying? It's not cruel, just a way to have babies settle themselves down. If they know that you'll always show up running whenever they call it becomes a habit, one you'd like to break.

[Slammer]

Annie sweetie, my advice is get used to it, and don't ever imagine that it gets better, you are gonna have sleepless nights from now as a baby to when he is a teen and not home by half past one in the morning.

[Edwindianna_Gooshi]

Which books have you already tried?

[alwilbharlie]

Not sure what you meant by having tried 'controlled crying', but if you haven't tried already, I would second the recommendation of letting them 'cry it out' (or one of many related Ferber-style methods). Not cruel in the least, in my opinion (though of course it is horrible to listen to your child cry), and works wonders. Our 3 kids have been great sleepers ever since using this method, and I don't know of anyone who regretted it after trying.

[steighteam]

To go with what Assassin says, crying is one way that the babies use to "shut out the world from over stimulation".

Their little brains can only take so much. If you have television on, music, friends over... little babies need a certain amount of "quiet time".

In saying that, it also took me 2-3 babies to learn that.

The other thing about waking 8 times a night, which you probably already know, the "depth" of sleep is a "sin wave" during the night:

And at the "lighter sleep" times, he/she has learned that the only way to get back to sleep is with the help of mummy or daddy. It is up to you to teach them differently. Just leave them alone. They will get back to sleep.

With my first baby, i was adamantly oppose to using a dummy. With my second, I was addicted to it, because by then there were two waking during the night A 2 hour sleep block was a blessing!

The second child had learned to lull himself back to sleep. Thats what everyone has to learn at some stage. The earlier the better for babies, because without sleep, you as a mummy wont be a very functioning mummy. You are doing no-one any favours by "suffering" through this.

Nowerdays there are even some parents who will lie next to their 3 year old every night "because the child wont go to sleep any other way". The kids have learned that this is "how i sleep". That the rule. Try breaking the rule, the kid of course objects: this is what I know, she says.

With the extreme sleep deprivation, our neighbours (kids 18 months apart) took to swapping getting up. One gets up one night, the other the next night. They slept in separate rooms.

Their marriage was saved through this!

PS: one of our kids, I cant remember which used to always cry themselves to sleep. It was their way. Some people are like that. When they started crying, I knew they were about to drop off. I learned NOT to pick them up.

http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/...eep-whisperer/

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-st...p-2303593.html

[Ealyah]

The two sites I generally use for baby and toddler sleep information are:

http://www.babysleepsite.com/

http://www.sleepsense.net/

I have signed up to both news letters and they have helped me understand sleeping problems very well. You can also sign up for one on one consulting (which I honestly didn't do) Dana also has some really awesome youtube videos you should check out. Hope this helps

http://www.youtube.com/user/sleepsense

[pleafydd]

Sleepless nights from time to time sure, but the OP is talking about EVERY night which is not something to just get used to.

Maybe if no one has a local recommendation, there is someone in the UK or other location that can be connected to via skype? local would definitely be the best I'm sure though...

[julieveen]

Hi Annie!

I have a 10 month old and I am still breastfeeding...I was co-sleeping with her and she had slept more or less good until she was 5 months...after that time she started waking up all the time.. I mean she was off an on my breast all night long, until we decided that I had to go out of the room (so I still breastfeed but during the day) because I might be waking her up with the food smell. She is sleeping with her dad now and wakes up only one or twice occasionally but seems to be just be noisy during her sleep.

I also read giving cereal and banana at night can help. Afterwards I just give her breastmilk and leave her to her dad. We also don't let her sleep with breast or bottle if that is your case. We always put her to bed at 7.30 and no later.

I know of one person who might be able to help you, she is a maternity nurse from the UK and she told me if I needed help she could work on that, but I did not need her so far. She has her own daughter. If you're interested I give you her contact info.

I wish you all the best and I understand you =S

Mariana

[Buzzer]

Having had 2 cry/fussy babies (as in, cry from day 2 in hospital and not stopped until 6 months) I have read every book on the subject and can highly strongly reccommend Dr Weissbluth sleep book. He by now also has a blog where you get excellent support from other moms etc.

PM if you wish advise or to rant No one should be taking your sleep away and at 10 months babies should definitely be sleeping

Ciao

K

[ryouseb_in_r]

How come Rangatiranui can post such useful info but the Sleep Clinic you went to, for 6 days, just threw you back out on the street with a "whatever, bye!". Ask for your money back.

And give it to Rangatiranui

[junaireo]

a pinch of nutmeg powder in the babies food at night should help her sleep naturally for longer. I read about this at one of the yahoo news pages. http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/the-in...ll-asleep.html

[a_ponstgass]

I've had some baby sleeping issues myself and have to echo the overused comment that "every baby is different." But hopefully you'll find something that works - and soon.

For me, I am definitely not comfortable with any of the "cry it out" types of approaches. To each her own.

What you might want to consider in terms of co-sleeping, however, is how you co-sleep. Just like adults can be disturbed by their partner in bed, so too can your wee one. I think this may have been a problem for me. By putting him on a separate mattress beside me, he doesn't feel my nighttime movements. In turn, he sleeps better (as do I!!!).

[Catro]

I agree with you about the whole not leaving to cry. I have 2 children and breast fed both. The first used to eat every 2 hours during the night but outgrew that thankfully by 14 months and is now 2 and sleeps great! My 5 month old also wakes numerous times and comfort feeds herself to sleep. Each time i am temped to try sleep training after reading all the books and hearing about friends babies who sleep through, i remember that this period passes so fast and that eventually they all sleep. I just remind myself how lucky I am that I can be there for my children in the night and remind myself whenever I am tired that I am so lucky. A friend of mine died leaving 3 young children under the age of 6 and I bet she wishes she could be up with them all night. Crying it out seems so cruel as all a baby who sleeps by crying learns is that no one will come and comfort him so whats the point of crying.

[Tamayra]

Hi AnnieShine,

I think we met a long time ago ? Trying to remember...German class maybe ?

If you like, I'm happy to meet up around Zurich and share some of my own experiences, and that of my work with small children and mums....

I'll send you a PM.

Swisspea

[zurisnow]

I am with assassin on this. Baby one was a nightmare until 8 months. She would cries for attention, hugs and kisses many times per nights. My mom told me to let her cry, I refused......until I was so exhausted. I tried and by night 3, we all slept through the night.

Baby two, I made things different and I just give him a kiss, hugs put him in bed and he falls asleep by himself and I don't hear a thing until the morning.

A friend of mine had the same problem with her first, I told her to let him cry (under control) and him too, by the third night was sleeping without waking up at night again.

Worth a try.

[marenius]

Hi there, I feel very sorry for you and your husband as hearing a baby crying is very very stressful.

I read in one post to let the baby crying and that he will settle by himself. It's false, he won't, he might fall asleep by exhaustion but after how many minutes of crying? I read in one book that during the first 6 months as soon as a baby cries, you need to take him into your arms and by doing so, you will have a baby that will be reassured and won't be a crying baby at all - it will be the opposite actually, rather independant as he will know by experience that if he cries, you are here for him.

Are you breastfeeding? bottlefeeding? if you are bottlefeeding then it might be that your baby doesn't digest the milk and in this case trying a different one could be a solution.

Do you give him a bath before bed to relax him?

How was the birth? was it a normal one or a cesarian? maybe going to see a cranial doctor could be something to try?

[zurisnow]

I disagree with this. My daughter is very confident and has no fear to go in the unknown, she is strong and always know I am here for her. When I decided to let her cry to let her settle, it didn't screw her development at all but it certainly stop her being looking for constant attention at every single cry. At 8 months, babies are capable to understand more than you think. My daughter wanted to have attention and I was running to her. She had to learn that night time was to sleep not to get mommy to give her attention.

I realized there were a huge difference between wanted mommy for a cuddle and a real cry from a nightmare and alike.

[Topperfusee]

"We are tired." I bet that is an understatement!! You have my empathy.

Before commenting, can you give some more information please?

An idea of the food and milk your baby has, and when? Any sort of feeds during the night?

Does the baby sleep with you, or in a cot, - your room, a different room?

Do you have a supportive partner, whom you can trust will remain calm if sharing , or taking a turn, at night time pacifying?

Has your baby been able to get to hear normal household noises, or does everyone tiptoe around in case the baby is disturbed?

All those night wake ups - over what period of time? Midnight to 6-7am? or 7pm to 7am? ie: how long are those sleeps.

How long are the wakefull night periods, usually?

What is your baby's daytime routine - including nap duration.

Does your baby initially go to sleep when put to bed? Or do you rock or nurse till the baby is asleep? Is that the same for daytime sleeping, as for night time?

What did the hospital actually try, that didn't work, when you went in with the baby?

People who have not had babies, will tend to tell you let the baby cry it out. So will the parents who did try that, and found that it worked.

However, it does NOT work for every baby and being made to feel it does, may just raise your feelings of frustration and tiredness.

Best wishes.