And if you are the one that goes to work, how you feel about that?
How do you deal with practical matters (money, housework etc?)
I was just wondering how many people here are stay-at-home people. I mean you stay at home while your husband/wife/partner goes to work every day. How come the situation is like that? Why you chose that?
I was for the first year after arriving. But we have three children so it's culturally 'acceptable' for me to stay home.
We run joint bank accounts, joint budgets and the housework has schedules and allocations. We've been married almost 12 years...so we've had time to work these things out...
There's only been one time in our relationship where we have been both being paid to work 'full time' and that is here, since August...the rest of the time it's always been a combination of part time, casual, full-time and housework
Edited to add: I hate not being in paid work. I like contributing my income to the household, but the first time I earnt more per hour than my husband...well, that's an interesting thing in our culture...
i've been a stay home wife since 3 years ago after working day & night for 14 years. My husband works full time.
My first year in sw --no kid. life was absolutely boring compared to where I used to live. NO life at all but excellent lake view and air
My 2nd year --with one kid. life 180 degree changed. v. busy, no time to do own stuff except taking care of a kid.
My 3rd year -- with one more kid. there's NO personal life at all. Going to shower or loo is a luxury these days.
So if you're worried about anything, have kids and you will have no time to worry...
Seriously for me, there's no problem to work out any practical aspects as it's never too difficult for me. I just treat this place as a place with different language, different system, rule, people and all I have to do is to live with it.
good luck.
Its nice to know that in Switzerland one income (how can i say it differently?) households are normal
Where i come from, the woman only is not allowed to work and only if the husband is very rich
I currently stay at home - my German isn't good enough to work in the fields I have work experience (optics, hospitality and retail) and those fields generally require one to speak the local language fluently.
Meanwhile, after working 15+ years in optics and the others mixed straight retail and hospitality... I am quite happy to have a break from those jobs. I'd quit optics with the intent of going to college to earn a degree and get a different type of job, meeting my husband put that off for a bit though as all "spendable" time and money was devoted to getting together.
We ARE able to do fine on a single income BUT we are only the two of us and are currently content to spend time together instead of feeling like we "have" to go hieing off to the wilds for excitement... we do not have enough money for that for sure.
I do miss working outside the home and earning an income myself. I grew up in a home without a lot of spare cash (non-officer military family with 5 kids is a bit rough on the wallet) and miss being able to indulge as often as I grew accustomed to when living alone and working.
I am a housewife.
I don't find it easy. I used to have a more glamourous life with invitations in Fashion Show, Contests, etc. Going out a lot, having a great social network and life. People were seeking my opinion and I was important asset in many sphere of my work.
And I got married... My husband's company had to send him here, so I quit my job to fallow him. I decided to give up my career for his career.
I don't regret my decision at all. I miss my ''old'' life and the fun, the excitement and the attention I had. But I took this life change to start a project I wanted to do for a long time.... a baby!
This is the best project ever! I never created something as beautiful, as awesome, as perfect as my daughter! I look back, I miss the past. I look at the present and I feel the burn you feel when you love so much that it hurts. I have the most awesome chance to be with my daughter every single day. I can see her growing and learning!
I am lucky because so many woman don't have that luxury! I worked hard and today, I am happy to take it slowly and enjoy not having to run at work every morning or to not know when I'll finish to work at night.
I am "in between" because I work 80% but from home which means I have the best and worst from both worlds
The best: flexibility! I get LOADS done at home whilst also working. my work is a lot done on the phone so I can have a conversation and put a load of washing on at the same time. Plus I do not waste time travelling so my 15 months old stays at the Krippe the minimum hours.
The worst: Since I am at home I end up doing 90% of all chores plus doctor visits etc. I sometimes resent this...
I think both sides are tough: my husband says he hates the weeks where he sees our daughters 2 hours in total because he leaves ealry works late and she is in bed when he is at home. At the same time, it is convenient that I do all the picks up from Krippe because he can then concentrate on his work.
I notice that it is hard when you are at home as when you partner ocmes home you rely on them to fill some space somehow, like they are to bring you excitement/fullfillment/recongition that you may not have had in the day.
Ciao
K
I am also a stay at home mum to 2 small children. 1 is 3 years old and the other 10 months. I've not worked since having my first child, but I did work prior to that in CH.
I don't miss that particular job, but I do miss working. I miss the money and the feelings of self-worth you get from working. Unfortunately, you don't get that confidence from being a mum and doing the chores - even though they are very important jobs. I miss having time for me and sometimes just need a break (ok going off on a tangent!)
I'd like to work part-time but I can't find an english speaking job in my field (my german is not fluent yet!). I also really can't imagine how I'd manage it when the kids are in kindergarten as its half days.....a logistical nightmare I think!!!
Could go on about this topic for days, so I'll stop there and not bore you further!! LOL! :-)
any one being stay at home dad ?
They are not. At least not in my neighborhood which is pretty much a working class neighborhood.
And in my factory (speak company) you'll find that almost all of the young mothers come back to work after their maternity leave.
They do it heavy hearted but loosing their job is simply not an option.
That is great for you, and I can totally relate. I am walking in similar shoes as of 6 months ago. Still selling my golf business in south florida, I too miss all the fancy things, and the slew of friends and networking I did all for my husband. I can only speak english, and cannot find work untill I can learn some German. I am not happy sitting home all day while my hubby is gone 11 hours a day. My son is 15 and moved to the USA to live with his father, so I find myself in unfamiliar territory... Bored and alone. Scared to go anywhere since I cannot communicate, and driving is awful, Im used to white sand not snow... Im 36 and feel 50 all of a sudden.. I wish we could have a child, then maybe staying home would be better, but on the bright side.. My house is spotless!
I chose this life because I like doing almost nothing.
Worked like a dog for almost 20 years - enough!
No please go on!! I love to know what other people think!!
Not any of them on the forum apparently... Am i to assume that all men here work or some do not and are embarrassed to say? If a man for some reason chooses not to work thats fine. Let us know!!
Same for me. Everything is so interesting and bring a new view.
about men not working, I understand it can be *embarrassing* : what would be a man who doesn't work in our society ?
I don't, I can't work, and that's really embarrassing..... even if it's a stupid feeling....
On the subject of men/women staying at home...
With my husband we often had jokingly arguments about who should stay home when we would have children.
In CH it is just the woman who can so obviously I took my maternity leave and hubby went back to work.... and was so relieved He admitted for the life of him and for how much he loves our daughter, that he could NEVER be a stay at home father as she would drive him up the wall.
I feel the same... for many years I alawys said I would have wanted to be a stay at home mum, do all sorts of fun activties with the kids etc.... well... am glad that one did not happen
I think it is personal but you have to be the kind of person who enjoys staying at home or going to work or both if you work part time.
During my maternity I was going bonkers from the repetition of my days, from the baby talks, etc. I was not enjoying being with the baby all the time and was looking forward to going to work.
I am glad I did as I feel I have a good balance and on top, in today's worl, we have 2 salaries if any of us got unemployed or anything else.
And on another side, I also enjoy the additional money a second salary brings. I do not have to ask hubby for money to buy stuff for myself or if I feel like going to the hairdresser. I think for our couple this owuld bring many arguments
But I am maybe going off topic...
I am also passionate about this as I find it fascinating how others may think so differently...
Nice post! I agree with you about the second salary being usefull I wouldnt want to ask my hubby for money. But sometimes is the man who must stay at home and the woman that has to go to work for various reasons
me too hate being in not paid job... m gtng frustrated
smetme it becomes a must for ur self respect
The person who stays at home -for the kids- should receive a real salary from the state. It's a real and how important job !!!