the stroller can be used like the "naughty chair". of course kids can get up and leave the naughty chair and you put them back. it's not meant to hold them in by force so much as take them out of having the option to walk freely and, like the naughty chair their punishment is a time of limited mobility.
when it comes to issues with children it's not easy to say what will work or what won't with each particular child, but it is definitely worth it to explore all the options. either way o.p i do think you need to toughen up just. you dont want to get in to the good cop/bad cop roles with hubby- much better to sit and discussion a way to be united on the consequences of certain behavior.
if she realizes that there are clear and equal results to the behavior that she has (and you and hubby handle it similarly) than she will understand better the limits and rules. once that is established, it is much easier for you and hubby to have different parenting styles but similar consequences. good luck!
Yeah, I didn't really explain myself so well, haha, wanted to warn it is not for some kids. The thing is rather than carry a "naugthy chair" with you at all times, just in case, it is in the long span easier to think about changing attitudes, changing approach, get confident as a parent and have your other half support you in this, that was my point. To have a toddler constantly put back and climbing out of stroller is a lot more dangerous than a simple naughty seat. They fall, etc, the bumps arent' nice. The straps are too inviting to undo, it wasn't only our monkey/houdini that was trying to figure out too early how to get out, but other kids we know, haha. If you use a stroller as a punishment, they so know it and the smart ones create negative association with the thing, and I wouldn't want to use a means of transport something that has previously been restricting me in, would make me run. To actually try to keep the child in the stroller afterwards peacefully and content when not punishing gets tough if one uses it as restriction. I dislike confiding a child to a gadget or a place, physically restricting, but that is only my experience with out child and a couple of moms I hang out with, I am sure people here take personal advice with a grain of salt and decide themselves.
It is so true, that the united approach works best, whatever it is.
Substitute the word fear with "in awe of" or "respect for". Anyway, I don't really think exploitation of my son's "fear" of tigers had any lasting effect as I haven't seen him looking under the bed or in the forest for tigers lately and he's 24 now!
Have you ever thought about leaving the dogs behind (if possible) when you go for a walk because you probably have your hands full with the dogs and need a second pair of hands for the child? I remember when my second child was born it was so much more difficult to control the first one because my hands were very often full. I'm sure it's the same with dogs and so much easier if you just have your daughter to contend with.
I have thought of this too, maybe taking on her own little walk once a day so she can see how I mean business! I thin that is a great idea as well. Now if only the weather would go back to being nice...
I am proud to say that I have been a no-nonsense mom all weekend! It has done wonders for both of us. I have my sweet little girl back, and think that last week's frustrations were some leftovers from the week before that we spent in England with grandparents and aunties swooping into her rescue when in trouble and her coming home to think she could get away with anything! Thanks for all the advice! Sounds like some really good parents on here
I'll try and sort the quotes out in this Thread sometime later today - in the meantime,
Please, please guys, leave the square brackets and their contents in place when you shorten a quote. Some of these posts simply don't make sense now, as the 'quoter' is being quoted as the original writer of the content.
I absolutely don't play children screaming and throwing tantrums in public.
Almost everything else is okay as I am very tolerant.
So what is the solution I'm sure you're wondering?
Answer: a split second torcher session.
How its done.
1. Take your thumb and middle finger and place them on the left and right side of their neck.
2. Squeeze firm for 1/4 a second.
3. Watch them straiten up quick as if Spock from Star trek just hit them with his Vulcan nerve pinch.
The pain is so intense that they will do anything not to feel it again.
You will also find that they are very receptive to suggestion after. So say (with your fingers still in place but not squeezed) "don't even think about crying" and they won't. As a matter of a fact, they should do just about whatever you tell them from then on.
By the way, this should leave no bruises whatsoever if done correctly but
if it does then you have just officially abused your child & should turn yourself in to the local authorities particularly if you feel no remorse.
So don't get carried away with it!
Ps.
if you have nails pay attention to apply the pressure further back on your fingers and I wouldn't try this on any child under 5.
You can all thank my 2nd grade teacher for teaching me this technique.
WOW this seems a bit harsh. Maybe required for naughty school children which aren't your own. I think everyone has a right to their own parenting techniques (to an extent of course) however this is not for me. I don't want to rule in fear, or have my children too scared to be themselves or get up to a small amount of mischief. It is all part of growing up, and learning what is acceptable and not. My mom was all rules and irritation, and I don't want to be like that. I want to be a fun mom, but stern when of course necessary. As long as I am consistent and can find the right balance of strong, and relaxed I think I will be okay.
at that age I insist on 'holding hands' at all times when walking along the street. Of course, if it's a VERY quiet street then I can bend the rules. Have you tried explaining the danger of the road?
If you've already let her have control of the situation it will be HARD to get it back as she will fight for it. Consistency is extremely important- I'm laidback too, never raise my voice, etc. and I find it works in my favor as I'm also very patient; if it take us 20 minutes to walk 20ft- so be it.
Don't get angry either, because in a way the child is winning then too- she is effecting your mood with her behavior, it's a small victory but she will take it! Believe me.
YES! My sisters are the worst, but I have to admit I do a bit of the same to them But I tend to let them because they don't see us all the time, if it takes me a week to get her back in like, that is okay we were "on vacation" but usually we aren't there a week, only for the weekend, so less time for her to get used to getting away with things! However what annoys me the most is when people with NO children give you advice, like, oh they all do that, don't worry. How would you know?!
Yes I agree! We only go in our residential area so I don't think holding hands is required, but I would if we were by the street. She is getting better we just got back from a walk, and she was so good, listening and coming when called to get off the toys, and even staying with me! So I think my stern consistency is paying off, and of course I praised her and we are currently watching a favorite tv show.
The naughtiest of my children on this walk was one of the dogs who rolled himself in stinky mud and had to have a bath!
For time out at that age we used the crib or a highchair. I know this isn't helpful but i think its a great sign that your kid feels secure enough to leave you. My kids are like that too and i try to focus on the positive. I try so hard to provide a secure upbringing for them and the result is that they have no fear. There is no doubt in your kids mind that mommy will always protect her and i think thats a beautiful thing.
and by the way I also don't like ruling through fear so it's very important to catch them say, in the act of going nuts in a department store defying your commands and not over exploit it. Once should be enough for life & if not I would maybe start looking for professional help.
Good to know not your everyday form of punishment Thanks for clarifying. Was imagining you some old witchy teacher with long nails, and probably a wart or two... then I noticed your name... haha! Have to say I got this once or twice when I was growing up as well. Soooo might have to resort to this under dire circumstances in a few years.