Table manners

Daily Life, Swiss News and General Topics
1
I recently caught an earful from my Swiss relatives because my kids didn't use a spoon when eating spaghetti. Is it customary in Switzerland to use a fork and spoon when eating spaghetti?

In addition to their lack of proper spaghetti eating skills, they also lift their soup bowls in order to scoop out the last drops. Apparently, this is verboten. I guess your supposed to tip the bowl. Does it matter which way one tips the bowl?

Also, is customary to wipe the plate/bowl clean with bread. My swiss folks wipe their plates/bowls so thoroughly that I have a hard time telling if they are even dirty.

Are anal dining rules specific to just my family or are they common practice in Switzerland

2
Sounds normal to me... My kids don't always eat spaghetti with a spoon, lots of time we even cut them up, probably a major faux pas! My oldest will sometimes use a spoon with her spaghetti, not sure where she learned. How do they feel about slurping up the last of the soup directly from the bowl? Anyways, I am not too worried yet as my kids are 8 and under - are yours older kids?

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Are anal dining rules specific to just my family or are they common practice in Switzerland[/QUOTE]

I think you had a bum deal I have kept this reply safe!

We never use a spoon for spaghetti, just wind it around the fork.

4
Do your Swiss relatives know how to hold a knife & fork? I am always amused watching 'educated' people eat !

5
The two big rules are to keep the food on the plate and your mouth closed when chewing.

Anything else is anal, and mopping the plate with bread is SO lower class.

6
With that attitude it's no surprise I find it amusing!

7
i have to be honest, customary or not, they are your children and you teach them as you do- it's not there place to give it to you because they don't use a spoon.

my son puts his left hand on his lap when eating- while he ate at a friends recently, the mother reprimanded him (like really a scolding) for not having both hands on the table. i was pretty pissed because as long as the kids are eating neatly i wouldn't scold anyone else's child- you never know if others have different customs and ways to do things.

and i've seen plenty of people here put the bowl right to their lips and suck up the last of the soup- not my thing but who am i to tell them how to eat their soup?!

8
As far as I know (I'm Swiss), if you say 'Bon appetit' - or your local equivalent - wait until everybody is served before digging in, don't put our elbows on the table and chew with your mouth closed, you're good to go.

For soup, it's the spoon going to your mouth and not the opposite (Chinese way is a nono here). Slurping sounds are frowned upon.

On my side of the roesti graben wiping your plate clean with bread is doable but vulgar in a polite upper class context.

9
Eating spaghetti with a spoon is seen very often here. Personally I think it's better manners to just use a as people in Italy do. That's how I was taught by my (Italian) father. However, don't sweat it. The only ones showing bad manners in your example were your relatives: telling other people that they (or their kids) behave badly/have bad manners is not exactly a model of good style

10
We're not Italian, we don't use a spoon to eat spaghetti.

In 'polite' company you'd tip the bowl away from you and place the spoon delicately from the middle to the edge to get the last drops. at home we'd tip it whatever but not bring the bowl to the mouth...

I'm not a big one for elbows on the table, but it doesn't really bother me - I wastaught to check what the others do when a guest in their home, as some consider it rude...

I have a terrible habit of wiping my hands on the edge of the hanging tablecloth

Slurping is not OK. At home we don't wait for everyone to be served before beginning as I'm often serving 3/4 variations on the meal and I prefer people to begin when it's hot.

Do you 'dish out' to your family, or do you put all the food in the middle of the table and let everyone choose what they want

I know someone whose parents believed that drinking with the meal was unhealthy. You were only allowed to drink once the food was finished. I think it means you eat much more slowly (have to chew the food a lot) and end up eating less...

11
I've never seen an Italian use a spoon. I've have however seen Italians laugh at people twirling spaghetti into their spoons........

I'd relay this to the Table Manners Polizei....

12
When I first started dining at my in-laws, who at the time were merely the parents of my boyfriend, my FIL would "scold" me for putting my (right) hand in my lap when not using it. It worked, to this day I keep both hands above table, and now I just notice it when my fellow Americans keep a hand in their lap .

13
Are they somehow scared to know what you are doing with the hand under the table? Sounds really odd to me to have to keep both hands on the table... Honestly, I never paid too much attention to my own ettiquette at the table My Swiss inlaws have never twirled their noodles into a spoon, but they do tip their bowl to eat the rest of the soup. They also all clean their plate with a piece of bread. I don't know if it is lower class or upper class. I don't really think it mattes... they are farmers

14
It amazes me... the trivial things that some people get hung-up on.

Anyways, I have a one year-old. As long as you're not flinging your food onto the floor, you're okee-dokee by me!

15
How old are your relatives?

Never heard of required etiquette for using a spoon with spaghetti. Seen people elsewhere use it, others not. My father in-law got dirty looks and grumbles towards him once for cutting his spaghetti in Italy. I mean, Who cares!

Tastes the same, has the same texture and after a day it all looks the same....

Tipping soup bowls? Dunno, but I do know that an aforementioned Chinese way is a no-no, but I do it if it's just me and my wife. Hell, she does it to and she grew up here.

Wiping the plate until clean, only if it was super tasty sauce!

Manners are 'supposed' to be a learned behavior right? Tell them that's how you were raised, presumably by your parents/family.

My in-laws (both 70+) are super prudish when it comes to manners and stuff. Leave the room for less than 5 minutes while studying to assist my kid, come back and the lights are turned off. Chair not perfectly in place after getting up, ruffles feathers. Empty the dishwasher and not sub-organize the forks together into their matching sets! BAH. My wife and I had a blow-out on this stuff with them. Said it was not intentional and I got a "It's not your fault you were raised that way" response. LOL We got out of there lickity split less than 2 days later. Both my wife and I couldn't stand it. For the best, now they are all cool. Better as friends and not roomies.

Back to the spaghetti...

A quick Google search revealed how to eat it in Italy...

http://www.annamariavolpi.com/how_to_eat_spaghetti.html

Keep hands on table

NEVER USE A SPOON

Never cut the pasta

Don't slurp

Don't splatter

If they give you flack, say you did your research. Sure you are in Switzerland, but it's an Italian dish to their rules apply! Never use a spoon!

No to mention, if my kid is actually eating her dinner at her age (4) without putting up a fight, screw the manners! She's being quiet and eating. Manners will be taught later.

16
We live in rural land, and I have to say we've been surprised about the table manners of some of our neighbours at first, elbow on table across in front of plate, stabbing with the fork and knife in the mouth - my parents would have disowned me and clipped round the ear too! We take it with good humour, and tend to laugh at ourselves for being shocked.

I found it hilarious when I first went to UK to be told about having a hand on my lap, pile peas on top of upside down fork, and drink soup 'backwards' + tipping plate backwards to finish off. I always practised this with my foreign students at home- they found it hilarious too, as much as tall piles of fluorescent jelly, or spotted dick. LOL.

17
They eat like that in Geneva & Zurich too, nothing about being rural!

18
I find my in laws, especially the guys, having absolutely no manners at all at the table. I am not that difficult about it but sometimes it is just ridiculous.

19
My jaw clicks when I eat, I cant do anything about it just as my knees click when I bend down. I only put my elbows on the table when my mbows are tired

20
LOL, we obviously know different Genevans and Zurchers