My experience is that one of a kid growing up in a home with 3 kids, then 4!
I was almost 5 when my brother was born and even though I was really really naughty I was not loud, my brother on the other hand . Two years later my sis was born and I think that is when my mother started losing her marbles...then she had number 4 ten years later (same dad, yes)...I saw that she was not patient anymore so I took the role of mothering up to a point.
Me and my sister (the first one) did not get along at all until she was about 12 and I had outgrown stupidity (mostly anywho) now we are really close.
My poor brother OTOH is still the butt of all our jokes...outnumbered 3:1
Grew up as one of 4 children born in just under 5 years - so very close in ages.
Answers as follows
- Our normal noise level was stratospheric - lots of laughter, shouting and also lots and lots and lots of chatter. All the time. Non stop.
- different rivalry between different siblings but nothing overtly awful.
- didn't get on with one brother as we didn't have much in common (he was sporty, I was a muscian etc) and still the case now, but we are polite and meet up when close by
- high energy is normal. I am now a preschool teacher and it is noticeable that when there is a lot of illness and the group is small, the energy levels are very muted. Any group of children, siblings or not will feed off eachother energy wize
- my mother didn't drink!!!! Imagine that! Actually I can't ....
I do remember my mother saying that we often "scared" other families with just one or 2 kids because we masde so much noise. I think my husband was also rather scared when I first brought him home when I was 19! Scared and strangely attracted to the chaos that still is a big and close family (all of our children - 8 of them- were born within a 5 yr period as well so when my siblings and our offspring get together it is even more chaotic - so my message is get used to it, it will only get worse. )
I`d say that Pot should be legalized for parents with more than 3 children.
I once knew a mother of 7 children, and she`d take "time-out" to chill when they weren`t around. She said it kept her "normal" - whatever that is.
Oh yes, and another mother with 2 sets of twin boys did the same. But she gave it up when she awoke from one of her "chill-outs" on the couch, to find 4 little boys had painted everything in the kitchen with yellow enamel, including themselves. (She`d forgotten to put the lid back on the 5ltr tin! ..she said it was true that smoking grass affected short-term memory)
we are bringing up 3 children under 3 right now (one is nearly 3, one is 1.5 and one is 1 month). There is no hiding from the fact that it is very exhausting physically as they are all so young, but it is still worth every moment watching them learn and develop and become little human beings from the just blob that eats and sleeps when they are born.
My husband is the oldest of four children all born within five years of each other and his experience pretty much mirrors this.
He didn't get on with one brother who was only a year younger than him and still doesn't. The speak occasionally on the phone and we meet up with him when we're over there but he wouldn't go out if his way to do so.
He is much closer to his younger brother and sister and they're still pretty close today.
My MIL used to say that it was always pretty chaotic and noisy in their house but there was no abnormal sibling rivalry and they all used to look out for each other.
She did go on a trial for the contraceptive pill though at the earliest opportunity as she was determined not to have any more kids.
I only have the one brother who used to annoy the hell out of me at times when we were kids but we were actually pretty close growing up and since we were pretty close in age we would hang out together a lot of the time.
I am the youngest of 6, with 4 older sisters . They used to dress me up in their frilly party frocks, but I don't think it had any lasting psychological damage. Probably.
We have 3 kids (12, 10 and 8), the first 5 years are crazy, after that it gets better. There is a big difference though between two and three kids. You have only two hands for example, also the world seems to expect you to have 2 kids not 3. A standard family car is a bit too small for example, a standard house or flat as well and when you go on holidays you'll need to rent two rooms. But it is all worth it when you see them growing up and they always have a playmate.
Two kids is boring and predictable. With three bodies (as scientist post-Newton have observed) things are far more chaotic and exciting. With four, you have to a bigger car.
I'm youngest of three. My wife is middle of three. We have three kids - 16,18,22. We had ten months of marriage before the first one arrived, so didn't have a "pre-kid" lifestyle really.
- what level of noise is normal?
Not much. We/They were all fairly quiet. But even when it does get noisy, it's nice - it's a sign of life.
- how much inter-kid rivalry is normal?
None at all. It wasn't tolerated.
- did you 'really' hate your brother/sister and do you still?
No and no. My elder sister used to bully me a bit, but if anyone outside the family tried it, she'd flatten them. Very protective. Any indication of one sibling developing hatred for another was clamped down on pretty quickly.
- people have told me that my kids are 'high energy'.. are all "oversized" households that way?
No.
- how much alcohol did you have to consume to drown out everything and get to that happy place?
None. The happy place is having my family. I've always got someone willing to bring me a cup of tea.
There is a profoundly famous saying: " two's company, three's a crowd"....
My sister in law said to me once: " the ideal number is one less than what you have !"
My grandma has 12. 42 grandkids, and 44 great-grandkids. Plus all the "in-laws and out-laws"...she's 94 and still going strong and we have only lost two people. One was a SIDS/cot death probably undiagnosed heart defect. The other was more recent and was stomach cancer related to smoking.
As a mum of 3 the biggest change was the feeling that the kids no longer child for around our life, and the illusion that we might get our life back....was well and truly gone....
I am the middle child of 3 siblings 5 years apart in age. I have four children ages 8, 11, 12, 15.
1. I'm not sure there is a normal noise level, but our (Swiss) neighbors haven't complained in the last 5 years. We try to be respectful, but maybe they're just being nice. I think my kids can get pretty loud at times.
2. Sibling rivalry seems pretty normal in my experience. I experienced it with my sister and brother and see it in my own children. With 4 kids competing for the same resources, I think it's normal for some rivalry to exist (yet up to the parents to see it doesn't get out of hand).
3. I really had a difficult time with my younger brother. We just couldn't connect. Sadly, I haven't seen or spoken to him in years. My sister and I, however, are quite close.
4. My kids are all high energy, competitive people. It's rarely quiet here and we are always busy!
I am an only child and I absolutely hated it! my friends that had brothers and sisters facinated me, infact I think that I still envy that sibling love they share. I come from a very small family I have an aunt and uncle with 2 cousins and thats it! My Husband is only 1 of 2 but has a massive extended family that all live within walking distance of each other.
Much to my husbands annoyance I was adamant I wanted 3.
I have 4,6 and 8.
1. I reckon they are no more noisy then 2, but we have our moments, and I have been in homes with 2 kids who constantly fight and that is just as loud.
2.My kids dont really suffer from sibling rivalry yet but I suppose that could be down to the 8 and 6yo being a girl and boy, they are interested in different things and my 4yo girl doesn't seem that bothered as long as she has one sibling to play with. We try to make sure they have some one on one time each per week.
3. If I had a brother/sister I would force them to love me.
4. I odnt know if we are high energy or its the age of the kids, but whatever, I try to teach the kids to be calm
5. I dont drink
This thing that annoys me the most is hotel rooms. Really P*** me off, it stops us from just getting up and going off somewhere for the weekend, but I still wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm one of four. Ten year age spread from oldest to youngest. Both parents teetotal.
Noise, I wouldn't consider it excessive but my husband (an only child) was quite shell-shocked on his first visit so maybe we are a more exuberant bunch than I realized. Honestly I'd have considered us pretty average though. Certainly I had friends (incl those in smaller as well as larger families) whose houses were a lot louder than ours, and other friends whose houses seemed mausoleum-still.
There was a certain amount of low-level bickering but no serious animosity, ever. Most of the time if we quarreled it would have been something that just started out as good-natured teasing and went a bit too far. "Knowing when to stop" was an endless disciplinary theme.
I still like my siblings a lot, they're some of my favorite people. We don't really keep in regular contact - chat/email/phone a few times a year - but I'd still say we're quite close despite that. When we do manage to get back together in person it's pretty much like we'd never been apart.
I have 3 kids and the oldest is 9 years older than the second one who is 4 years older than the youngest.
We always had a noisy household as they are all totally different to each other. We had no real problems as they were very close and actually always did things together with all their friends who all seemed to want to be in our place - it was normal to have sometimes 9 at the dinner table.
With the age gap - the oldest one really helped when the two younger ones were smaller and although the 2 younger ones used to bicker they are incredibly close and protective of each other now they are grown up.
I was one of 6 ( 4 were from a previous marriage and are actually old enough to be my parents!!) My actual full sister and I have never got on although I am quite close to the half Sisters/brother now who treat me still as if I am 2.