My impression is that the kids here are very badly behaved and have no manners. Their parents seem to ignore any transgression unless they are directly impacted and don't feel any responsibility if others are.
I don't tend to get the "helpful" advice from strangers, and I have a suspicion that Mrs Boris gets it because she's, well, a woman. But one thing that does get to me is the number of people that think it is perfectly ok to give sweets to my kid without first asking me if it is ok to do so.
I also had one woman tell me it was very dangerous to not put a hat on her. Trouble is I'm not one she should have been telling. She obviously has never tried to tell a toddler what to do...
On the flipside, lots of people have been very helpful and friendly, and I must add that I also encountered the busybody kind of behaviour in England, too.
I have seen some local kids behaving badly at the parks and the mothers do leave them to it - I have had to intervene to stop some bullying (of my kids) - just telling them to stop its not nice to bully younger kids etc - still the mothers don't do anything... this makes me feel like I'm such a great mother (being proactive - not allowing bulling etc)
dave
I did and she got very defensive and said it was his turn . I told her we'd only been there for 3 minutes. She doesn't speak to me any more
We get a lot of looks as we often put Mk. 1 on reins. Mostly very amused, sometimes scowls.
re J-T's post - only one of the incidents happened in Scumpliz, the rest in the city. There's been quite a few more things happened previously, like the old sod who shouted at Mrs Boris and kicked the pushchair because Mrs Boris was trying to get round them on the pavement after they stopped walking, etc.
Busybody behaviour is one thing, it's the readiness to grab at the kids that I don't like.
As for behaviour, Mk. 1's usually pretty good unless she's teething (as she is at the moment), when she can get a bit loud and short-tempered. We do what we can to keep her happy and quiet on buses and trains and there's really very little we can do about the new one as she's only a month old and if she cries then she cries.
Luckily, Mrs Boris doesn't go beserk at people (she's only lost it once at someone in the six years we've known each other - I wish I'd seen it...), but I certainly wouldn't blame her if she did.
Mainly we got them because the little fella has taken a fancy to the lake and given half a chance would dive right in, even when it's freezing cold so we need something to keep him back, although it's a bit like he decides the route and we just follow...
I believe that's the effect of feeding them Kirschstengeli or soaking the pacifiers in vodka over night.
Err.. you don't have kids, do you? I have a 1 year old which is magically snotty and mucky within ten minutes of being washed and dressed. You can ask a 1 year old as often and as reasonably as you like to "please be quiet on a tram" but if he's hungry, tired and just been clonked on the head by some idiot's Freitag bag you've got no chance.
They are babies - it's their job...
But then infants don't have much of behavioural problems, they just cry and fuss when they want to and one can't scold them. I just want to know the secret behind the extra quite kids in prams (less then a year old kinds). Knowing the intolerance of noise levels here I am dreading the day I will get a notice from my concierge for my colicky baby. Also I have no choice but to trundle her around everywhere with me and she is kicking a fuss most times, sometimes she is a real angel though .
(Example is two other women come with prams and infants to the same bus stop where I go to pick up my older daughter and my baby is the only one who is screaming or crying at times . I have never heard a peep out of the other two kids till date. Where am I going wrong???)
A baby crying is fully understandable in public as that is what babies do. A 5-6 year old kid kicking strangers, throwing stuff off the supermarket shelf, blocking the way by swimming on the floor with his brother while fighting is also border line acceptable as they are kids. What is unacceptable to me is when mother makes NO attempt to solve the problem.
No Dave the kid should not be muzzled it's the irresponsible parents that I want to muzzle. Better still I would like to castrate such parents. Did anyone watch the reportage on TV about a lady that had 5 kids from 5 different men? Bless her as she could not keep her legs closed . If I remember correctly then she was only 23!
I am in my early forties and have a few friends in their mid twenties who've got children and the differencies of how mine and their kids are/were raised couldn't be bigger.
So I'd rather be constructive here than generalising and put down what i successfully did with my own offspring and my daycare boy!
re:child being touched by strangers
- touching someones child is a strict no-no to anyone whatever their age.
It may sound crass but when my eldest was in her pram older people just touched her and stroked her face, so I touched them too,obviously they did were startled if not shocked and I simply said, see you don't like that either and i don't want you touching my child!
What also helped was saying very loud : 'Was söu das?' or ' Was machet dir da?' ( what are you doing?) because this will have a few heads turning, most people will get very embarassed and leave you be.
For busybodies who berate you on your childs not wearing a hat,open parka etc, you simply say :' Das geit öich nüt aa' ( this is of no regard to you )
re: how to shop with toddlers
First and foremost plan enough time for shopping, especially with a toddler or two in tow.....I found that my bratz were more unruly when they sensed that i was in a hurry,but almost never acted up when we had enough time ..
When shopping I always had the baby on me in a Snuggly/Tragetuech,this ensured I had both hands free,one of the toddler and one for putting stuff in the caddy.
By the time the younger ones were about two and four years old they both had mini caddies ( our migros didn' thave them then) I made them 'writing' a shopping list and they carried their own small shopping bags,they felt important at being able to do their own shopping and honestly never acted up.I also NEVER ever bought them anything when they were shopping with me,so as not to encourage tantrums,for me it worked.
When the younger ones were a baby and toddler,I put the shopping after the till in the caddy and then put the kids first in their carseats where they were looking at books etc and only THEN packed everything up in bags.
re Snotty kids
A fixed item of their dressing in winter was a dyed cloth nappy ( stoffwindel) tied around their neck and i carried always two spare ones in my handbag.Quick and easy to wipe off snot,absorb driping saliva and to wipe off the occasional chocolate smear and can be washed at 60C° (when coloured) or 95° (white)
All my bratz,when they were between 1-2 years old, were put on a harness with a cord attached to it, when we went out for a walk be it in town or at the shores of the lake/canal,every parent knows that one can get distracted and that toddlers can be quicker than lightning sometimes.....so it's not only for the tots safety but also a little for the parents peace of mind,but this does not mean that when shopping in town and meeting a friend in the street you have the liberty of nattering away hours.....
well just my two cents on a few things
I don't mean to preach, but I think senior citizens should be accorded a certain degree of respect no matter how batty they may seem.