Three days in a row, Mrs Boris has been accosted by older folk who disagree with the way we raise our children. She took the new one down to the Co-op (two minutes from the flat - you can see it from the door) and didn't put a hat on her as it does babies good to get a bit of sun and it wasn't very cold. Some crone then starts having a go and pulling the baby sling about while pointing at the baby in her hatless state. Mrs Boris is a gentle soul, so just walked away, as she did the next day when someone started pulling Mk. 1 child about as she didn't have her coat done up while also having a go at Mrs Boris. Again, Mrs Boris walks away.
Today, Mk. 1 was in her pushchair, in acres of space while they were waiting for a bus and she's kicking her legs up and down and some old sod comes over and holds her legs down with a walking stick. This time Mrs Boris does say something ('Get off!'), but the old b*****d won't, so she turns the pushchair round and walks away.
This type of thing seems to happen a lot, but strangely never when I'm about. However, if I catch someone doing this sort of thing, ie manhandling my family, then they're going to get a stern word and if they don't clear off then they're going to find themselves physically restrained until the Police arrive (assuming we can remember the number).
I take my cousins kid a lot. She is half Indian so she has that natural tan complexion, but blue eyes and blonde hair. People tsk tsk daily at me saying I'm going to give her cancer etc. Calling me an idiot, the list goes on. I once even had a lifeguard at the beach approach and suggest I use sunscreen. (Of course she already had 5 layer of SPF50 on)
The trick come up with an equally snide remark. Usually they never think that you will talk back and are astonished. Many rendered speechless. Sometimes I just plaster a smile on the face and say "you are so right. Maybe you should raise her for me." The looks are priceless!
I hear of this happening a lot in Zurich. People think nothing of sticking their nose into your child rearing business. Actually, one of the main reasons I don't want to stay here and integrate into Swiss society.
I am having the same problem in Geneva. Everyone thinks (specially the well dressed, fur coated old ladies) that they can bring my kids up better than I do. In the past four days I have been stopped 3 times by these well meaning people. Once for not zipping up my daughters ( 6 yrs. ) coat , It was a sunny day and the zip had got stuck and we were five mins. from home . Once for my three month old who started crying at the check out counter in Coop ( I was struggling to pay and keep her quite at the sametime ) and once for not putting a cap under a snow suit on the younger one. Gosh I am crumbling under the pressure of such high expectations from strangers in this place.
Also can someone tell me what magic do they do with their kids here. Even the new borns are so well behaved , no kid seems to be crying or fussing. They all sit beautifully in their designer prams peacefully sucking at their pacifier . My kid totally refuses to take the pacifier, bawls her lungs out and I get dirty looks from all and sundry. I am on the verge of throwing in my towel and handing her over to one of these nice "well meaning" grannies and telling them to take over, while I go for a nice sunny vacation .
Any advise on how to keep a three month old quite in public is appreciated.
Don't touch my child Don't offer unsolicited advice; we have grandparents for that Don't every touch my child The thing that disturbs me the most is the old chap with the stick. I dare say if Daddy was with you, he would not have the balls to pull such a stunt.
Geez, that's some pretty crappy treatment there, Colonel.
If it were my kid I probably would have found a new creative use for that old fart's walking stick - although that would make me one of those violent foreign types...
A 3 month old baby does not have to be quiet in public ! Nor do any children, for that matter.
I had my 2-month daughter in a BabyBjörn carrier whilst shopping in Manor Zurich. Baby was quite happy - it's her favourite way of travelling! I was approached by a little old lady who then reprimanded me for carrying her around, tied up tight for hours, when I should have been at home with baby... Hours? Was she following me? I told her to mind her own business very loudly and, unfortunately, she ran off, so we couldn't discuss any further. At least another shopper sympathised with me at the time.
Some of these old folks may have dementia, and they were also brought up in a different milennium. Not an excuse - just a possible explanation.
I have found the "Yes, you're so right - can you give me some more advice, please" or "Really, do you think so?" to be the best reaction - or just ignore and walk off, as did Mrs B.
I think I would have lost my temper with the old chap+stick, nobody has the right to touch your children in any way without your permission, I think that's an unwritten rule the crosses cultures.
I have all this to come with my son, although we've previously had it to great extent with the dog. Comments on how it's cruel to not let him mingle with other dogs (he's a fox terrier, he either wants to shag things or kill them), comments on how street music is too loud for him, etc etc. These comments soon get boring. My approach with any comments to the child will be to respond, "yes I know, it's just that we're bad parents, thanks"
They seem to assume that as you are a foreigner you were not raised right and are full of flaws they "have" to correct.
In my first year in Zurich ( 1999 after 3 years in Geneva ) I got that kind of looks and comments a lot, for many different things. But now I am back to zurich after 8 years in Geneva. My experience this 2007 in Zürich has been totally different.
I haven't got any of those "interventions" and I even have had some good comments... Maybe I became a "tamed" foreigner ?
Can anybody shed any light on this as we've noticed it too. You just don't see toddlers playing up or throwing a tantrum. Do they really know something we don't?
...I think you hit the right word, obsessive, as in obsessive/compulsive. People really can't help it, the imprint is so deep they can't even see it and will react very self-righteously if you try to point it out.
My strategy to deal with such situations is simply a not unfriendly double-whammy look that could kill, accompanied by a chi bolt of lightning from the navel, which I hold steady until they have either disappeared from the face of the earth or apologized profusely. This works for many things. Try it.
I sympathise with you entirely Mrs Col. Boris. Our daughter was born in Muscat and being fair and blonde was a magnet for the nationals. She was sick so often we should have had a pass to MPH. I firmly believe that it was because of mucky fingers being put around her face or holding her hands and then she put them in her gob.
Could your wife tell the bloody touchers and commenters that she has an incurable illness that is extremely contagious? Or that you are just on the way to have her excorcised of demonic possesion? (last one may backfire if you live in a catholic canton)
I think she has incredible self control not to batter that man with the stick.
... and I will not comment on the way many Swiss (do not) take care of their kids in public spaces (is it that difficult to put clean clothes on them, wipe their snot, ask them to be quiet on the tram, etc.)?
My wife and I were on a train from Basel, trying to eat lunch whilst holding a toddler who wouldn't sit still. An old lady on the other set of seats got up, took the toddler out of my wife's arms without a word, sat down and patiently entertained our son for half an hour enabling us to relax and eat our lunch in peace - it was blissful.
Another time I was sitting in a cafe for breakfast at 6.00am at Zurich Hpt Bahnhof with my sister and her family who had just arrived on the overnight train from the U.K. An old lady having breakfast nearby came over to our table.
At first I thought she might be about to say something about the noise my sister's four exciteable children were making but instead she told my sister what four wonderful children she had, thrust a 20 CHF note into her hand and told her to treat them to something.