US to Basel w/ Elementary school aged kids, special needs...

Family, Education, Health and Pets
1
Hi! This is all very preliminary since my husband is only looking into working in Basel and is trying to convince me that this will be a good experience for our family. As a mom of three kids (ages 5, 7 and 10) in elementary school here in the US, I am, of course, considering all the ramifications of such a big move. Especially since none of us speak the language and most especially, my middle child has some emotional/behavioral issues that impact his school experience.

If you're still with me, here goes with some background....my husband can apply to work in Basel and given that it will be a position for about 2 years, I assume that we should look into having the kids attend an international school. We would be coming back to the States afterwards and work provides an educational stipend.

I am most concerned re: my middle child who really has anxiety and sensory issues that can interfere w/ his school life. Otherwise, he is a relatively normal kid who is super smart and wants to do well in school (doesn't have autism/Asperger's or developmental delays). Here in the States, he has had an IEP (Individual Education Plan) since preschool which provides him with social skills group in addition to an in-class aide who is available to help when he 'shuts down'. This is in addition to a lot of private psychological help/support. Some examples of what I mean by 'shutting down'-1) teacher will ask the class to do a writing task but my son might end up refusing to do it/crying/crunching up in a corner because he wasn't clear on the instructions and couldn't just ask for more help. 2)cried and didn't want to participate in gym class because he was 'confused by the complicated rules'. Turns out he just needed someone to explain the 'basic' rule that you can only touch the basketball with one hand and then show him how to dribble. However, gym and recess are difficult areas for him due to the sensory overload of being surrounded by loud noises and running children.

So, my main question is this...would the schools be able to accommodate someone like him? He really needs teachers who can be understanding, patient and soft-spoken since yelling and being 'tough' just worsens the situation. I'm sure the transition to a foreign country will be a bit difficult for all of us, but I worry for my child. I also don't want to undo all the progress we have made over the years if we can not get similar support overseas...especially since this move is going to be voluntary. What is the overall Swiss attitude re: emotional problems/mental illness? It's hard enough to ignore the stares here in the US when we are out to dinner and my son is crying and not wanting to sit down at a restaurant table. People may think he's being a brat but if they asked, he is frightened by the painting hanging next to the table (another example re: anxiety).

Terrified that we might make a mistake moving overseas, but at the same time, hoping that an experience like this will help him grow. He actually told me that he was 'okay' with moving to Switzerland but I'm not sure if he really understands what that means! (he's only 7!)

Thanks in advance for reading and giving me any input!

PS-Also, we are Asian Americans...so, if anyone can give me any insight on racial issues since I'm thinking we will stand out over there??!?

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First question to ask is if your husband’s salary will support 3 kids at an international school which is likely to be around CHF65,000 per year in total. Here’s Basel’s fee schedule:

http://www.isbasel.ch/page.cfm?p=441

They do also offer learning support:

http://www.isbasel.ch/page.cfm?p=476

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If you are here for only 2 years and plan on going back to the US, you are really looking at an international school, and probably even more so for the middle child who has special needs. Having to learn in a new place, new language, and new curricula would probably be too overwhelming for him, based on what you have said. Assuming costs of international school are not a problem, best to discuss with potential schools on what support they would and would not be able to provide.

As for the other treatments, if not covered by the school, you would need to see what would be covered by medical insurance, the state, the commune, or perhaps AI but I doubt you would qualify for that. For example, here in Canton VD, speech therapy is covered by the Canton, but in french. At least some psychological help is covered under insurance, but not sure what your childs particular needs are and what is offered here, and it may only be offered in local language, not english.

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Medea is right. - you need to speak directly to any of the interntional schools in the greater Basel area that you might be interested in. There is not just ISB, also SIS and the international school at Rheinfelden. At primary age there is also Kids Camp International. Please jump in anyone if I have left any English speaking private schools off the list.

I know that at ISB they have recently started supporting mild learning difficulties in the younger years. You need direct contact to know if what they understand by mild learning difficulties fits your son.

I will just say one thing, there is far better support for children with learning difficulties in some of the international schools around the greater Zurich area - the support in comparison in the Basel schools is practically non existent. It is feasible to live in the greater Zurich area and commute to Basel (3 of the 6 colleagues in my office do just that) so you might wonder about widening your search area to Zurich.

By the way, the same is also true of the therapeutic support provision in English - you will find that most therapy support in the Basel area (if not practically all) is local and so offered in German - sometimes you get lucky and your psychologist/therapist can also make a decent attempt at doing the therapy in English, but don't count on this.

I've said it before on this forum and I'll say it again, I would be very very wary of moving a child with known special needs who is currently in a good and productive set up to another country with another language, simply for the kick of the experience. I know you have other children, I know you all want to stretch your wings and make the most of what life has to offer but sometimes, as a parent, you sadly have to see opportunities pass by. I'm sure you are more than aware of this already, sadly. But getting the best for your special child is paramount.

Good luck with your information gathering.

ECB (mother to 6 yr old autistic son)

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No Cantonal funded therapy was offered in English in Baselstadt or Baselland. It was a case of striking it lucky with a particular therapist who had a decent grasp of English. That is why we moved to Suisse Romande as we are billingual and whilst we could manage with the German, it seemed cruel to expect our non verbal son to deal with it as well - he was having problems enough just saying anything in any of the two languages he already had.

You will not be covered by the state disability insurance scheme (unless you tell us you are Swiss citizens but I'm thinking you would have mentioned that ..) so that leaves health insurance who will always try to push off responsibility for paying for therapies which would in the normal course, have been met by the federal disability scheme. Only speech therapy and special needs classroom support is paid for by the Canton, other "medical" therapies such as occupational therapy, physiotherapy, pyscho motor therapy (I'm trying to guess at the ones that might be pertinent to OP) are usually funded by disability insurance scheme or, at a push, your private health insurance.

Edit: made a mistake: psycho motor therapy is offered as part of the Cantonal education budget. But whether this applies in a private school, I wouldn't know.

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I would also add, and others who live in the Basel/Zurich areas may find it different there, but those with more serious mental issues are not seen out and about as much as you would in the US or UK. They still tend to live in special homes and not as part of the family it seems to me. Things are changing slowly and I do see them on outings in the cities more than I used to when we first moved here 14 years ago. But it still very much a case of they have their own housing blocks and workplaces and don’t mix generally in the same way yet. That’s not to say he’d be stared at when you go out, I personally haven’t noticed anyone doing that, but obviously if he gets upset/anxious then there will be stares as you get now.

On a separate subject which you should also investigate is the fact that getting a bank account here is very difficult for Americans. This is due to the US’s FATCA law which basically is making every financial institution in the world (outside the US) reporters to the IRS of American clients’ bank account info. If you can find a bank to accept you - the choice is down to around 5/6 - you’d need to sign a W-9 form to allow the bank to pass your account info on to the IRS and you may also need to provide proof of US tax filings to show you’re US tax compliant. This is because the US tax system is based on citizenship and not on residency as in the rest of the world. So you’ll also need to keep filing US tax returns and could also owe US Federal and State taxes on top of the Swiss ones. There are several threads here on the forum under the Finance/Taxation section dealing with FATCA and the problems it’s been causing and of course you can also google it.

For your filing obligations start here:

http://www.irs.gov/Individuals/Inter…-Aliens-Abroad

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Really? That's not been my impression at all. I've seen children and adults alike out either with their families or out and about by themselves depending on the degree of impairment.

There are even two Down's syndrome shelf stackers at the COOP in Neuchâtel and they have been there as long as we've lived here. ( they're not young either).

As far as covering therapies goes it can be a bit hit and miss in my experience.

Our basic health insurance covered a very expensive ( in my opinion) course of ergo therapy for our son because they deemed his handwriting to be bad.

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My son was 10 when we came here 18 months ago. He also has anxiety, although not to the extent as you describe your child. He also would "shut down" starting in 2nd grade when assignments were confusing or he felt too difficult for him. He also stil needs caring and nurturing teachers. His 4th grade teacher was

a shouter and he did indeed crawl under the table in tears. So I can relate.

My son, now older, is much better, but still struggles with stress. He bravely made it through 5th grade and half of sixth grade in a swiss school - but we did put him in a Christian school after trying the local school first. He was taunted as "auslander" and cursed at daily - we moved him to the Freie Christliche Schule in Liestal. He did well, is vebally fluent in German, but writing assignments were impossible and he also struggled with the more difficult subjects as he started secondary school. Since we now have received word that we cannot stay any longer than

next school year, we decided to go ahead and move him to an English school so he will not be behind in the US.

When my high school age daughter wanted to join us for her senior year in school, I discovered a school over the border in Germany there is an American based curriculum school. Black Forest Academy was established as a boarding school for high school age missionary kids needing a north american education to go to college. My daughter is finishing high school this year at this school and we just enrolled my son there too. The tuition is between 6000 and 10,000 Euros depending on the grade level. The elementary school is a shared venture with a Lorrach christian school and is bilingual. There is a school bus that takes Basel areas kids to and from school from the Badischer Bahnhof.

My son loves this school and is having a great time. My daughter also has had an incredible year there. I only have good things to say about it. The teachers are incredibly kind and helpful in dealing with Bo's study issues. The big downside is that it is farther away than being at a neighborhood school.

If you can afford the ISB and can live near so they have the opportunity to enjoy living in a community and be close and involved in the school, that would be best and least stressful. I would call them and discuss your middle child's issues. Two years does go by fast, the only thing is that by the time you figure out "what is what and where" and have braved through the initial stressful period, it will be time to pack and up and leave.

It is not easy, it will be stressful, there will be tears, but there is a big and supportive expat community that you can find.

The UBS branch in Basel still opens bank accounts for Americans, by the way.

Good luck with your decision.

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I.e. your husband's employer pays school fees.

Contact the international schools and ask them. I know one child who gets extra help - but it has to be paid for. Perhaps the employer needs to cover that as well.

We noticed a little more casual racism over here than in the UK, but nothing worth getting upset about. You get morons everywhere - it's not a reflection on the general populace - Basel is pretty cosmopolitan.

You will stand out more.

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Thanks to all who replied! This is helpful information to consider....just so stressful since I know absolutely nothing about life in Switzerland! (born and bred US!)

I think international schools will definitely have to be the way to go for us since we do not plan on staying permanently. Tuition is subsidized but I had read somewhere that there are waiting lists to get into these international schools?!? Do these large companies/banks have any relationships w/ these schools to help their employees with getting in? My husband would be working for Bank for International Settlements....the BIS makes it sound like they will do all they can to help expats w/ the transition, but I want to prepare myself, just in case...

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What's more important to you: you kids not losing a grade once you get back to the US or your kids being fluent in German after two years?

2 years of public school here might broaden your kids' horizon considerably and will more than likely be enough to lay a very solid foundation language-wise - something that might give them a competitive edge in the future, both in high-school / college and the job market.

It could mean that they'll have to repeat a year when you get back - but keep in mind that this could happen anyway. I'd say you'll also find it drastically easier to integrate here if you don't send your kids to IS. Acceptance of foreigners here isn't always a given and if you don't make an effort, this might lead to frictions and a less-than optimal experience. You'd basically be choosing a life within the expat-bubble. I personally don't understand why people would want to move to other places if they aren't interested in the culture, country, language, people etc.

I'd probably feel like denying my kids this chance if I were to send them to IS, but I wouldn't make that decision lightly, either.

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If we weren't interested in learning about other cultures/languages, then we could just easily stay where we are.

However, I know that this is only going to be a 2 year position and so I also have to worry about the process of re-integrating back to the US afterwards. Of course, the kids will learn that their little bubble here in the US didn't stay the same while they went away and that maybe they themselves were changed by the experience. However, I think it would be very difficult for them if they had to come back 'a grade behind' and lose out a second time with being with all the friends they have grown up with. Also, we just happen to live in one of the best and most competitive school districts in the state, if not the country, so it is very difficult to risk having them come back a year behind academically just for the sake of learning a language that they may or may not choose to continue with (sorry to offend, but knowing German is not going to help them here any if they decide that they never want to leave the US again )

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that's definitely a good argument - but then I'd probably not risk taking them out of the school in the first place

No offence taken - but you never know what it's going to be good for. My cousin's son got an excellent job with a well-known company in Mountain View, CA only because he's fluent in German (went to school in Minnesota)

14
Personally, unless it really is a great opportunity for your husband, for 2 years I wouldn't move. If it was for you to stay until your kids move onto University (if they want to) I would be much more for it (particularly with the lower fees).

I don't want to sell short how this can really be an opportunity to have a huge amount of self-growth (for all of you), moving abroad can really broaden your horizons.

But it can also backfire spectacularly and there's a total of 5 of you, I wouldn't be surprised to have it backfire for at least one of you.

You can learn a foreign language without moving 2 years abroad, you just have to put in the effort (and it requires discipline, the moving abroad just sort of forces you so you don't need to have the discipline).

It may be a great opportunity or a specific dream your husband has, given he is trying to convince you.

I think at that institution workers don't pay taxes so the salary is probably pretty stellar, and maybe something really good to have in his CV.

But to be fair if you are a stay at home spouse, from other threads I have read, one of your kids/you likely will be the ones that are going to experience the most negative aspects of the move - not him (he probably can get away easily without learning German very well etc., he will automatically be inserted in the Bank with lots of colleagues in the same situation as he is and so on). So it is "fair" for you to be a bit "selfish" and present significant arguments against moving.

To the husband if you read this, please don't hate me

It is also perfectly fair for him to ask about it and try to convince you