No one is being arrogant, pretentious or mean. We are just having a conversation about the reasons why the swiss views on marriage have changed, from what to how and the maybes.
That's all!
What is wrong with you? Why so much agressivity? Do you read french? Because the article will answer a lot of your questions. No one here is talking about being superior. We talk about swiss sociology regarding relationship here. You want stats, look at the article, it is full of stats.
Maybe she's pregnant?
Well, I live in a mixed marriage and we have been faced with the stereotyes many times. You know what: Stereotypes have usually some true cores and I personally met some of the ladies one could describe as a mail order bride. What is the most interesting part: They usually have no problem at all to admit that they wanted to leave their home and "looked for a foreigner" for material reasons beside love. I do not judge this at all, but can actually understand them very well. So you can keep your political correctness for your own, thank you. Denying their existence is PC gone wrong and the article linked by Mr.Vertigo showed how marriages with some developing countries went up by thousands of percents over the past decade - ignoring a discussion is not more political correct.
To make a bit of a balancing argument to JLRs remark: Yes, I equally feel that it "looks wrong" to see some of the couples with an old greasy guy and his 25yr old Thai girlfriend. But I do not think it is fair to blame it entirely on him or "the West": Many of the girls are divorced or have children from previous relationships. In many traditional Asian societies does this mean that they are basically "unmarriable"... no guy could marry them as their families would not accept it (and families matter far more over there). So it is not just our wealth, but also the cultural differences that attracts them.
Well I posted the first thread 2 years ago and I was going through my spam folder and came across a few links from this thread. I can't believe it's still going!
I'd just like to say that after being here for 2 years I've finally gotten used to the stares. It doesn't offend me as much as it used to. These days I just smile and give a short nod, and I always receive a smile back.
My husband and I still get stared at when we go out, but we are both so used to it that we hardly even notice it now. I think what is important is to have a positive attitude. Also I feel that when people see that we are happy and communicating well with one another, they wonder how a mixed couple could relate so well together. This is what a Swiss friend of mine told me, and I can also see in people's eyes sometimes. Even if my interpretation is wrong, I am now most comfortable with it. I know I am a well educated, successful Asian-Australian and if others choose to stare and think different then so be it.
Very different to my first post, I know. But hey people grow.
Get ready to be stare at more especially if you look far too younger than your partner! Sure they will think: mailbride! period.
'They looked Yugoslavian'.
Damn that is quite a funny comment. Respect!
Im a black woman with dreadlocks. And Im sure peope here dont think of me as being charmlingly exotic unfortunately. Im not a bride, mail order or otherwise, so it makes it all worse. Nor do I have a Swiss hsuband on my arm. Pity, that.
Here in the village there is a couple, she a 25-odd year old Thai, he a 50-odd year old CHian, people stare, but only those who do not know them.
Olive-brown on pinky white, a good and working combination, who cares, they love each other. period.
@Icephrys - A great post and good for you! (The "Thanks" icon has long since disappeared, otherwise I would've added mine as well ). You are spot on about the importance of having and maintaining a positive attitude. The stares were a problem for me too when I first came here, especially after having grown up in one of the most multi-cultural cities in the world, where nobody cares about such things and mixed relationships are very common. However, in time I got to realize that often the stares are not meant in a bad way and that people genuinely find you interesting and would like to know more if given a chance. These days I just smile warmly at starers (except dodgy looking blokes) and which usually is appreciated. Cheers .
My 28 year old stepson (as CH as they come, tall, blond) is engaged to a 36 year old Thai.
Tom
should be aware of the fact that people generally are staring here in switzerland and for no apparent reason
They're sizing you up to see if you'd fit in their freezer
As to thouse starings, maybe it is just because you have a "foreign look"? I have an asian face, so even I walk alone, I usually get a lot of unexpected attentions like you described.
My husband is swiss and I am chinese, so it fits into your "mixed relationship" category,.From my experience, no matter what country I go, in europ or in asia, I always get a lot of "stares" from the locals,even in my own country! I suppose, sometimes it's because my husband look "foreign", sometimes it's because I look "foreign" I have already get used to it, or at least I tell myself not to take it as a big deal. Just relax.
I wonder if the staring happens more on the German side. I've been dating an Asian off-and-on; nobody pays attention to us out in public. We tend to stay on the French side of CH, though, if not going into France on weekends.
My experience is that the staring is less prevelant on the French speaking side.
Swiss and Scandinavians don't usually look alike, do they? lol
You should go somewhere where both of you look foreign at the same time...africa? good luck
My wife has this problem too.
We used to think it was because she was Caucasian but since I am too, we figured it was because she's got huge cans.
Having lived in southern Germany, I would say it's more a German thing. I personally feel the staring is even worse in Southern Germany and more intrusive and offensive... to the point it's led to some heated moments in my time there. I was even left gobsmacked when some German walked specifically over to us to look at my wife. The Swiss have more class than that!
As already stated, nothing beats giving them a huge grin and waving.[/QUOTE]
GREAT CALL. I live in Luzern as well and have this happen to me on a near daily basis. After feeling like I was wakling around with Something About Mary hair I finally said enough! So now I smile extra sparkly at the women who give me dirty looks and if Im feeling perky enough, I may throw them a friendly wave for fun.