what is life like for the typical stay at home mom in switzerland

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1
we're thinking about moving to switzerland and i would not work the first year we're back...maybe even longer. i'm struggling to wrap my head around what my daily life would look like. i'm a working mom right now, so the combination of staying at home AND in another country is a bit boggling.

i've studied, traveled, and lived in switzerland for short periods of time before, but not in this context.

are there playgroups like here? do moms go to the zoo? the park? are there mom and me music classes like here? i guess i'm just trying to figure out if i can replicate what my life would be like here as a SAHM. how would i meet other moms over there?

i know this sounds like a weird/silly question. there are hundreds and thousands of SAHM switzerland and i'm sure they have a perfectly wonderful life, but it's a different country and culture and i'm just not familiar with it.

thank you!!

2
It really does depend on the age of your child/children but you may find your new lifestyle a refreshing change of pace after you get over the initial shock.

3
mrs. doolittle, by the time we moved, our child would be about 20 months old. i anticipate that we would have a second child mid- to late- next year.

4
Yes, there are playgroups here - how easy it is to find other mothers depends partly upon where you choose to live (of course) and how well you speak the common language in the canton to which you move.

I see mothers, sometimes in groups, at the zoo, at the pools, at the parks, down town, gathered in coffee shops or casual dining restaurants... same goes (although not as frequently) for fathers as well actually.

Here, just like anywhere else, the level of social life you and your young child have depends a bit on you, how much you get involved with local mother-baby groups. It isn't uncommon for children to start kinder-spiel groups by the time they're three (pre-school / play school) and then kindergarten at about 6.

If you get involved in Geminde (local government sponsored - I'm not sure what it's called if you are in the French- or Italian-speaking areas) activities, you are more likely to find others in your area with whom you have commonalities.

It's not easy but it's not impossible either.

5
You will never "replicate" the life you have where you are; you have to be prepared for something completely different but with some of the same elements ie partner and child, especially if you have never been a SAHM in your home country.

6
The cost of childcare is very high. Even if you are a 'stay at home mum' you might want to consider that you would like to use some form of child care to give your child a break from 'home' too...and especially if you are planning a second child.

I, like you, prefer to be in paid work than full-time at home...but it's a constant 'work in progress' for there to be a balance.

If you are planning to have a second child, then it may be that your 'year' off paid work becomes 2 or 3...and depending on your longer term plans you might be making a total lifestyle adjustment because your chosen career may simply not have a follow-on here in Switzerland.

If you are non-EU you may also not be automatically entitled to a working permit, for the first two years - if your spouse is issued an L permit...so that's something else to consider. I found this made me feel 'trapped' although after 12 months I did manage to get my own job and working permission, which was a great relief...

Either way, adjusting to children and a new way of living your life is a natural part of it all. We have three children. I think with the first two it was easy to see how we would make them fit 'our lifestyle'...but when the third one arrived we had quite a major realisation that now our jobs, housing, education would have to fit much more closely to the specific needs of our children - especially as the age gap between the first is 8 years so now 3 years later we have one who is just about to start preschool, and the eldest who is starting to do her preparation for high school...so it's a big mixture of needs in our household...

And yes, there is plenty to do for mum's in Switzerland and although it takes the effort to make the connections and relationships, you can certainly find friends and support networks here in the expat community or the local community....

7
thank you for the insights!

i have a lot of things working in my favor. i am an extremely social person and make friends easily. i have been living, working, and studying in switzerland off and on (as in for up to 3-4 months at a time) for the past 9 years, so i've certainly picked up a lot of the language. this past few years we've only traveled to visit friends and family. i'm "fluent enough" in high german and can understand much of swiss german. i also used to be "fluent enough" in french, but it's been a long time since i had to use it.

i would like to think that i have a fairly transferable career. i am high school teacher and english is my mother tongue. if i can't teach because of licensing reasons at the public level, i will pursue international schools or teaching english at a migros school level.

i have not yet looked into what my rights to work will be. i am non-EU, but my husband is swiss and we've been married for a few years now. i hope that counts for something.

thanks so much for letting me know what things "might" be like. even though i feel like i know switzerland pretty well, i suddenly realized that i had NO idea what life was like in the context of motherhood.

8
Hi, we moved here just after my daughter turned two. Straight away I started going to some wonderful playgroups in Zürich. These are groups where a parents stays and for kids from age 0 to about 4. Through these groups I made some great friends, and they were also excellent places to get answers to all my questions.

After a while my daughter also started attending a low key English preschool a couple of mornings a week. This gave me a few precious hours off and her some social time without me.

There are also plenty of music classes and other activities available in English, and, of course, lots and lots in German. And in summer there are the lakes, zoos, swimming pools, parks, forest etc.

I think one of the key things to making it work is to not be afraid to make the first move when it comes to getting to know people.

As for not working, I found this hard, too, especially as when I did want to start working it was almost impossible for me to find something in my field. In the meantime I became a student again (long distance through a university in Australia), studied German, started writing as much as possible, joined a book club and generally hung out with friends. And now I'm self-employed, with my own music teaching business, which so far is going really well.

There were definitely times when I wanted to scream with frustration, but overall the experience has been really wonderful. And since working again it really is a struggle to keep a nice balance between work, study and family. But so far so good!

There are lots of women in similar situations and lots of ways of hooking up with them. Once you do that, you really start to feel much better. And then, after a while, you realise you're one of the old hands and able to answer questions like this!

Kate

9
Jetset,

I think that it’s very wise of you to ask this question. The most difficult phase of my life as a mother was when I stopped working shortly ̈before the birth of our first child because my husband took a job that required us to move to Germany. Being “demoted” to the position of stay- at-home mom (sorry, but that’s how I felt at the time), not knowing anyone in our small city, and adjusting to life in a new country was not easy or terribly fun.

I think that the hardest part was the major mental adjustment that I had to make before I could really appreciate being at home with my daughter.

It helped to meet other moms in the same situation and to take the time to continue developing my own interests. I started taking a photography class in the evenings, which served the dual purpose of getting me out of the house and giving my husband some one-on-one time with his child.

Once you’re settled, I think that being a SAHM may actually be easier in Switzerland than in the States because there are plenty of women in the same position. Just find a good group of moms/friends who like to do the same sort of things as you. Oh, and one other thing that helped me was to have a babysitting exchange with a friend once a week.

Good luck!

10
One thing to consider for the slightly longer term is which school you would put your children into. The local swiss schools do not necessarily have a canteen or lunchroom so children are expected to go home for lunch. There are lunch clubs (mittagtisch) but these are not always everyday and I think they are prioritised for working women. SO you can find yourself in the situation (as I do) of having to be home at midday every school day to welcome your child home and give them lunch before taking them back to school in the afternoon (this restriction can drive you a little bit mad!).

The international and private sector though seem to routinely offer a lucnh service.

Realistically, prepare yourself for a bit of a bumpy ride - you're making a number of major changes to you life and these are bound to have an impact - forewarned is forearmed.