We are unmarried parents, living separately and having a child.
I wonder what we can can agree on without involving third parties like courts, kesb, layers, etc. Both of us do not have legal insurance ...
For example, if we both agree that the child stays with mother (100% custody on her), could kesb push us to have 50/50? (joint custody)
And about child support payments - who decides the amount? If we both agree on some amount, could kesb or other social services/courts enforce another amount?
Can we just do not sign any papers related to child maintenance? I know there are risks, but my question is more about how authorities/kesb will be involved into the process? What if we just register custody type (solely on her or 50/50, whatever) and decide about child maintenance some time later?
I've researched some internet, but all the cases are mostly about divorces via courts, and say that typical "child support" amount is 15% of net income. But this is in court. Can we agree whatever we like without involving it?
Should we also make a separate agreement to support mother since she's staying with a child and doesn't work for some time? Or since we were never married it does not apply?
Although this doesn’t answer your question, I’d like to point out that, in Switzerland, what you call “custody” is divided into two components: parental authority (who takes important decisions about the child; in German " Sorgerecht ") and residence (where the child lives; in German " Obhut "). Nowadays, it is the norm to award parental authority to both parents. Sometimes, residence is split, too.
This is an earlier post setting out some of this. In that case, the couple were disputing and going to Court, and it is laudable to try to avoid that route. However, I would urge you both, as the child’s parents, to put everything you agree down in writing. https://www.englishforum.ch/3485176-post26.html
Durch eine gemeinsame Erklärung
Nicht miteinander verheiratete Eltern können erklären, dass sie die elterliche Sorge gemeinsam ausüben möchten. Die Erklärung kann entweder gleichzeitig mit der Anerkennung des Kindes durch den Vater gegenüber dem Zivilstandsamt oder später gegenüber der KESB am Wohnsitz des Kindes abgegeben werden. In dieser schriftlichen Erklärung bestätigen die Eltern, dass sie bereit sind, gemeinsam die Verantwortung für ihr Kind zu übernehmen und sich über die Obhut und das Besuchsrecht oder die Betreuungsanteile sowie über den Unterhaltsbeitrag für das Kind geeinigt haben. Die Erklärung über die gemeinsame elterliche Sorge muss immer von beiden Elternteilen zusammen abgegeben werden.
Ohne gemeinsame Erklärung
Ist ein Elternteil nicht bereit, die Erklärung über die gemeinsame elterliche Sorge abzugeben, so kann der andere Elternteil an die KESB am Wohnsitz des Kindes gelangen, welche über die elterliche Sorge entscheidet. Solange steht die elterliche Sorge allein der Mutter zu. Das heisst, die Mutter kann alleine über alle Belange des Kindes entscheiden, muss aber den Vater über wichtige Ereignisse im Leben des Kindes informieren und ihn vor wichtigen Entscheidungen anhören.
Der Vater muss sich durch Betreuung des Kindes und/oder durch Bezahlung eines Unterhaltsbeitrags an der Pflege und Erziehung des Kindes beteiligen.
Der Gesetzgeber hat die gemeinsame Sorge als Regel eingeführt. D.h., die gemeinsame elterliche Sorge darf einem Elternteil nur in begründeten Ausnahmefällen vorenthalten werden (nur wenn das Kindeswohl durch die Verfügung der gemeinsamen Sorge schwerwiegend gefährdet wird). Ein blosser Streit zwischen den Eltern oder gewisse Uneinigkeit der Eltern reichen als Gründe nicht aus.
Die KESB entscheidet unter Berücksichtigung des Kindeswohls und der Gesamtsituation, ob die elterliche Sorge beiden Eltern zugeteilt wird.
deepl translation:
How do we obtain joint parental custody?
By joint declaration
Parents who are not married to each other may declare that they wish to exercise parental care jointly. The declaration may be made either simultaneously with the father’s acknowledgement of the child to the civil registry office or later to the KESB at the child’s place of residence. In this written declaration, the parents confirm that they are willing to jointly assume responsibility for their child and have agreed on custody and visitation rights or care shares as well as on the maintenance contribution for the child. The declaration on joint parental custody must always be made by both parents together.
Without a joint declaration
If one parent is not prepared to make the declaration on joint parental care, the other parent can appeal to the KESB at the child’s place of residence, which decides on parental care. In the meantime, the mother alone is entitled to parental custody. This means that the mother alone can decide on all matters concerning the child, but must inform the father about important events in the child’s life and hear him before making important decisions.
The father must participate in the care and upbringing of the child by looking after the child and/or by paying a maintenance contribution.
The legislature has introduced joint custody as a rule. This means that joint parental custody may only be withheld from one parent in justified exceptional cases (only if the welfare of the child is seriously endangered by the order of joint custody). A mere dispute between the parents or certain disagreement between the parents are not sufficient grounds.
The KESB decides whether parental custody is to be granted to both parents, taking into account the best interests of the child and the overall situation.
I've read something similar on one of the authorities' websites.
Does that imply that if both parents agree on sole care on the mother, then kesb/authorities can't enforce joint parental care?
Looks like "In the meantime, the mother alone is entitled to parental custody" means exactly this. "The other parent can appeal to the kesb" doesn't mean "should appeal", right?
But the phrase "The legislature has introduced joint custody as a rule." still confusing me.
A few years ago, the Swiss laws about children unterwent an enormous shift. The old concept whereby the child automatically lived with the mother who had full "rights" over the child, and the father merely paid child support and had "visiting rights" to see the child on half the school holidays and some weekends in between (or possibly not at all, if he were not interested, or if the mother chose not to let him see the child) is now considered out-of-date.
Previously, the discourse was about parents' rights , but now the emphasis has been firmly placed on the child's rights and the child's best interests . It is the express duty of both parents to ensure the child can exercise those rights.
The rule of joint custody is made with the child's best interests in mind. It is considered detrimental to a child's safety and mental health to have an unknown parent, an absent parent, or one who won't involve themselves in the financial costs and the emotional and developmental care of the child. Therefore, it is now the norm that both parents must be involved in important decisions about the child.
Even if the KESB does agree to the unusual arrangement of only one parent holding the "Sorgerecht" (which they would do only in exceptional circumstances such as if it can be shown that the other parent is potentially harmful for the child, of diminished mental capacity, or perhaps if the parent lived very far away and could not be contacted), that does not diminish the responsibility of both parents towards the child. Each parent - in upholding the child's rights - even has the duty to facilitate the child's relationship with the other parent. Children have a right to know their parents, even potentially "dangerous" parents, and there are special organisations which make this possible under the protective watch of social workers.
One of the KESB's aims is to try to prevent either parent shirking their financial, legal and ethical responsibilities towards the child, by simply disappearing and having nothing to do with the child.