When to tell a new partner whom you want to marry you have a child?

Family, Education, Health and Pets
61
But my ex was French, and he was hung like a hamster.

62
Its all relative.... Conakry feels like Club Med after I come back from Katanga!

63
Being an old bag (hehehe, my BF would not say that), going through similar situations: it does not matter if you tell him or not. He will leave you or you will get him to leave.

As long as you have this question, it means you are insecure, you don't stand on the ground on your own, you need someone to hang on.

Anyone can sense this - result: runaway.

But this is irrelevant. What important is, how this question came up.

How come you are so unsure about this.

You need to work out questions and answers. What makes you happy? Really happy? How is your relationship with your daughter? How is your relationship with your mom? Did you feel abondoned ever in your life?

I know you will be damned angry at me.

Just work on this. Be independent, be happy. Know you are, be a valuable woman for yourself.

64
As long as youre not Scottish I guess you have a valid point. Then again, we dont know what the OP looks like? Maybe she will take what ever she can get? Hamsters and all....

65

No! we just waited for you to show up

66

Defenetly porn

67
You mean people that actually know what the obvious answer is? Who actually do something called "the logical thing"? Who did not end a "committed relationship" after a birth because they "did not see a future"?

Nope not here sorry.... It seems to me that you used your poor ex as a sperm donor

Yes i know im answering to a troll but its late and im bored and the thread is not closed yet so....

68
First of all, sfcali,

I'm sorry that a mockery has been made of your thread.

I think people must have assumed because it has nothing apart from “Geneva” written in your thread, this is totally irrelevant to Switzerland. The guy you're talking about is French and you live in the US.

Secondly, I think you're fantazising, which is perfectly fine to do, as long as you realise you're fantazising.

If you look at this from the guy's point of view, he's met a nice girl, perhaps he imagines getting to know her better, maybe he sees at as some fun. You don't know. But, something that you do know is that he thinks you're a single lady, free from any attachments. This has got to change if you want something 'serious'. Unfortunately I have to agree that it's already too late in my opinion. I would see it as a lie. You didn't physically say I don't have a child, but in this situation, a relationship, it was a lie, it's like a married man not saying he's married.

I think that the perfect man for you will know that you have a daughter from the start. I think you're rushing into things. If you're daughter is only one year, then it hasn't been long since you separated from your daughter's dad. I wholly recommend that you spend some time by yourself and start to feel confident as a mother. Confident enough not to hide it.

So, tell this guy. If I were you, I'd wait until we were having fun and enjoying each other's company and stop. Then I'd say “Hey look, I've been keeping something from you....So here it is...” Then you carry on from there with the reasons why you did it and what you wanted to achieve from not telling him. Who knows whether he'll be interested in continuing your relationship or not, maybe even when or how you say will make all the difference. Anyway, good luck, maybe you can let us know in a few months time how it's going...

69
bbbbbbbbbbbb

70
You sound just like my ex girlfriend!

71
I think she meant closer to this:

72
It HAS been said, you just fail to get it: tell him immediately!

Why s this simple concept so difficult for you to grasp?

Tom

73
Probably only after you bobbitted him!

Tom

74
Oh great, you're back.

75
When should I tell a new partner whom I want to marry that:

- I have four children

- I'm married

- It's my third marriage

- I have an STD

- I'm broke

- I'm living with my mother

- I don't really have a degree

- I've been on welfare for the last 5 years

- I don't know who the fathers of my children are

- They aren't my real breasts

- I'm three months pregnant with someone else's child

- I have a split personality

- I'm Canadian

- I've had 4 DUIs and they've taken my license away.

- I may have a drinking problem

- Selling drugs keeps me above water

- He's the only man I don't charge for my "services"

- Smoking pot in the morning keeps me mellow

- I'm not really a vegetarian

Oh forget it. I'm sure when my new partner finds out, he'll love me for what I am because I'm so wonderful, honest, beautiful, intelligent, loving and have a great personality. Any man would be lucky to have me.

76
contrary to popular belief, there is no correlation between race and penis size.

there is however a correlation between height and penis size.

so statistically a short french bloke will likely have a smaller todger than a tall indian bloke.

however, there are obviously differences in average height between races, but once you control for height, these drop out.

there's also no correlation with the size of feet...

isn't that what ALL girls do?

i think you're onto something. OP could have unprotected sex with the guy and afterwards say "there something i should have told you before... (dramatic pause)... i have AIDS" "(WTZOMGF)" "Not AIDS, I meant to say I have a daughter".

But seriously, I think everyone is being too hard on the OP. I think it is understandable that it is not something that one might talk about straight away. But I'd say you should disclose this before the 2nd date.

77
My holiday is over.. Howyoudoing?

78
I was going to respond with some witty, demeaning post. But all bases seem to have been covered. I'm out.

79
Wow, seeing that this thread has gone into the gutter, I'm almost tempted to play along.

But I'll behave myself...

When I met my (now) wife 10 years ago, she didn't mention that she had a daughter on the first date. She wanted to get to know me and find out what kind of person I am before mentioning her daughter. (Who knows, if she starts out announcing that, she could put the daughter at risk if she were to meet a pedophile).

Anyhow, on the 2nd date (we met for brunch in a restaurant, then went back to her place for a walk), I met her daughter (who was 17 at the time).

Now, 10 years later, my wife and I are happily married, and my step-daughter and I have a great relationship.

It is important to note that I am not her father. She has no contact with her biological father, but I am also not her father. I am her step-father, and I am looking forward to the day that I will be the grandfather of her child.

Having a child should not be the first thing that you announce - obviously, you are looking for a partner for yourself, not a father for your child - but it is not something you can or should keep secret for very long, especially if your child is still a toddler.

80
First, let me tell you, I have four college degrees (2 in computer science, one in English, and one in education) and I have taught at the college level on the side ... yes, i am educated... but, that doesn't make me intelligent

Second.... as you have already heard at least 426 times, you should have told him immediately.

"Hello, it is really nice to meet you, my name is sfcali. Before you check me out and get to like me, you must know, I have a child. Ah, I see you look frightened. If this scares you, lets enjoy our dinner, and then you can digest this and call me again if you like. If not... lets eat dinner and you can call me again if you like."

Looping back to the education... you both are "educated" so I am going to presume you are also intelligent. Not telling him has to be 6 of the least intelligent things I have heard all day.. and I hear them all. You may want to call the colleges and ask for a refund, or at least a partial credit. If not that, then an explanation why you passed all of the math classes. Not telling + asking us buffoons for advice = disaster

So... at lunch, give him a call and tell him you need to meet for a few minutes, and bring some pictures.

Happy Monday

ps - I use the term "buffoon" loosely... some of us are bigger ones than others... and for one person who liked that I spelled udder as utter.. that was part of me being funny to me... I knew udder from utter... hey... i have them, and THAT is udderly ridiculous!!