Share some experiences and tips to handle such situations. When I attempt the local lingo people think that I am dumb so I try to stay in the comfort zone of English and my skin is quiet thick.
So have you been to your partner's company party or any kind of social event where you are the only one who does not speak German/French/Italian (depending on where you are)? How do you act? Some speak to you in English but when more then 2-3 gather then they understandably start speaking their local tongue. Do you feel awkward or you got alligator thick skin and don't feel uncomfortable?
When i first moved here and couldnt speak german i went to my partners (now married to him) xmas dinner it was awful all talking in swiss german i had no idea what to do some did try and speak alittle english with me and my now husband did translate some things, but sometimes he would forget so i would give him alittle nudge to hint i was still there and wanted to know what was going on then he would translate again. It was really embarassing and not nice ( spent alot of time exercising my drinking hand so i wouldnt have to speak while the glass was permantely stuck to my lips) but i got through it and now i can speak german thankgod i dont have to have that experience anymore well saying that there are still moments i have trouble with swiss german so again i have to nudge my husband.
Me and a co-worker went to a 2 day seminar at Toggenburg held by Sun Chemical. The whole meeting was in Swiss German but that evening we had dinner in a restaurant at the top of the mountain. I was lucky enough to get a seat at a table with those from Sun. After hearing my accent they asked me where I was from, from that moment on everyone at our table (10 or 12 of us) only spoke English (they even with each other) for the duration of the evening. My co-worker friend who sat at the next table told me later that evening he couldn't believe his ears..! I just said, Swiss Germans love to speak English.
In the French speaking region all you really need to do is nod and alternate between "oui" or "c'est vrai". That'll keep the conversation going for at least 5 minutes... until you're asked what you do for a living
During the New Year's eve celebration and countdown, we were invited by my partner's family to celebrate with them and their friends at their office building overlooking the Lake of Zurich.We didn't have anything planned and it sounded great since we could then watch the fireworks from the balcony and also not freeze ourselves.But the moment their family friends started gathering everyone somehow switched to Swiss (including my partner!) and I was just standing around trying very hard not to feel left out.....Thankfully my partner's sister arrived and sort of zipped me out of there where we ended up having more fun and where i could participate in the conversation!
Castro I should move to the French part then. Sutter how long have you been here? I understand enough German to blag my way for a bit and act as if I understand more that I really do but it is still horrible. My wife is very aware and helps always but I need to get a move on! I do end up drinking a lot just so that I look occupied!
Ummmmmmm. . . . yes, many, many many times. If I know they speak English I just start talking to people in english, they speak back in english, we have a conversation.
I find these situations a perfect opportunity to practice German. This is true learning by immersion. Try to join in and listen for words you understand, with time you understand more and more and eventually you will start to enjoy the situation. You will be surprised how quick your German improves in these situations.
Was out for drinks last night with workmates... language of the evening was German. I didn't understand 100% but enough to get the gist of conversations and join in.
Exactly Eire, I have been in this situation many times and nearly always everyone (who can) starts to speak English. I feel more uncomfortable then that they are going out of their way to accommodate me and I tell them to speak German, how else am I going to learn?
I don't understand everything they are saying but I'm not too shy or ashamed to ask them (or my GF) to explain when needed. And they don't feel put out that you are asking them to repeat in English if I am really stuck. On the contrary, they seem glad to help out.
Yea, I get that change to English all too often too. I actually really appreciate it when people stay speaking German/Swiss German but just speak a little slower so I can keep up. I hate learning languages in schools... I'm just not designed to book learn languages and I find this immersion thing much easier.
the Missus used to work at the Swiss Embassy in London, of course most people spoke multiple languages. including English. Yet they would mix and match languages all the time even part way through sentences. The worst was when telling jokes in English and the punch line was in another language.
Also years of visits to the inlaws, the family do not speak any / much English. Mother in law refuses to even try to speak slower so I can try to communicate in French. Anyway it down to me to learn more French.
A few months after arriving my boyfriends best friend invited me over for dinner with his girlfriend. The girlfriend refused to speak English which I didnt mind too much but obviously when she said something in Swiss the others automatically responded in Swiss. It was interesting to see how much I could understand (practically nothing) but also made me feel like crap. I couldnt wait to leave, but instead she got bored and went out to meet some friends, and the two boys tried teaching me some phrases.
I have been here 10 years at first it was really hard but now i love it here it just takes time to ajust so anybody new coming here just be patient it is well worth the wait
I love being the only non- (or weak-) speaker of a language in a big group.
If I'm up to it, I sit and listen, and try to follow, without the pressure of having to think of a response - like watching the telly, but less boring.
If I'm feeling lazy, I let it just wash over me, and enjoy the feeling of not having to give a bollocks. Like being three years old again. Or being a dog.
I've been in this situation so many times I've lost count: Amongst Greeks, Kosovars, Bangladeshis, German speakers, French speakers, Arabic speakers...
I sometimes think I prefer it to being amongst English speakers, especially given the utter bollocks most people speak!
Which is exactly why you spend so much time on the forum!!!
I include myself in 'most', of course!
Being in such a situation should motivate you to learn the local language. I don't understand people who live in Zürich for 5+ years and barely speak a word of German. Go to the Migros Clubschule or one of the dozens of other institutions that allow to learn the German language. OK, some people might not be gifted at learning languages, and they are not to blame... but so many expats I know just don't even bother, which I personally would find embarrassing to admit.
Good point, well made.
But the traditional teaching methods(like Club School Migros) that they use here may not work for everyone. I personally just get more confused by learning off reams of conjugations and stuff. I prefer to just dive in in conversation. I find that most of the time people are kind enough to help and personally I am more comfortable learning in this way. Ok my grammer is rubbish, but I can get by and make myself understood... and more importantly understand in most situations.
I have felt like an outsider many times. Now when I cannot handle it anymore I say something. I usually am kind though and understand that I am on their turf and try to smile and pretend that I understand most of the conversation. By the end of the night my mind is so tired. When I am at a conference with my partner I kindly exuse myself to the hotel room and say I am tired.
I think that in my case this tired feeling was part of the learning process I had when learning Swiss German. Now my brain doesn't need to process as much new information and I don't feel tired anymore.