Dating, Tinder and Sex questions at first

Daily Life, Swiss News and General Topics
1
So..I am moving to Zurich next month but I tried to check the singles market via Tinder. I am encountering two issues which I kindly would like your input on:

1 - Many men swipe right me but they do not say a word after -- am I suppose to start chatting them up??

2 - The 2-4 men who said "hi" asked me just after a couple exchanges if "I like to have sex"......This happened like 3 out of 4 times which is concerning to me because it is private question and also not appropriate right away (my opinion). I openly told one that I am not going to Zurich to put my pants down...

Please advise...what am I missing?

Thanks in advance for your time.

2
Actual contact with actual human beings.

HTH

3
If you are upset by people on tinder asking about sex, then you better stop using sex-apps.

4
Tinder is not a dating app. It's a shagging app. That might be the crux of our problem.

5
just thought I'd quote that

6
Oh, and Tinder is not an app dedicated to the singles market

7
Oi oi oi... Is my subconscious trying to tell me something? Good that Mr. Helm is not an EF user... There was a Y missing there. Obviously... I swear...

8
Riiiiiiiight.

9
Let me explain to you how Tinder works from a man's perspective.

Studies from Tinder show that, surprise surpsie, women are far pickier than men are when it comes to online dating. Men generally "swipe right" on about 80% of female profiles whereas women swipe right on about 15% of male profiles. So, what does this mean? Well women assume that men are being just as picky as they are....looking at every picture....reading every bio.....looking for any excuse not to swipe right. In reality, men are playing the numbers game and just swiping right on every girl, hoping to get a few matches along the way.

So what does this result in? Men complain that they get no matches on tinder and women complain that, when they do get matches, nothing happens. The reality is that if the guy hasn't messaged you after a match he never really found you attractive and you were just part of the number game.

Now on to part 2, the few guys who do message you just want sex....well that's easy. Given that women are only swiping right on about 15% of men, the same small group of guys get most of the matches (80/20 rule) and can afford to be picky and upfront, knowing full well that another girl will come along who will meet their needs.

A fun world we live in now with online dating :-D

10
How you do that if the blogs are fill with expats women complaining that the men do not approach them on bars and chatting anyone up casually is getting back awkward looks?

I do not believe that Tinder is a "sex" app only. It started as a sex app but today people are finding long term relationships on Tinder. It is also for the busy and on the move person looking to meet people and take it offline to see what happens....I am sorry I do not agree with you. Maybe if it was 2007....

Sorry I do not agree. I think you can use the app for multiple purposes. You get out only what you are willing to take from someone else. To the desperate ones for sex, you say no and the ones who want to behave like a gentlemen you probably agree to something else outside of the app (coffee, dinner, etc.). In this lazy society of instant gratification, men and women are looking for the easiest way to gratify themselves either sexually or companionship. People do not want to write lengthy profiles any more on websites.

Then what is in a city that people do not talk to each other or even say good morning at the tram stop. Men do not approach women at bars or public places...or engage in small talk...how you determine who is single and available in Zurich?

Thanks your advice makes perfect sense!!! Much appreciated.

11
You don't.

You just live. You go to work. You go down the pub. You join a sports club. You eat cheese. You make friends. Eventually, perhaps, you'll fall in love with one of them. Or maybe not. Life goes on.

12
Thank you ! that was my plan all along, I do not plan to be home waiting for a Tinder message...I am coming from Bermuda and there is no one in the "available pool" for my age. If I was in my 20s, Bermuda has plenty of young expats ready to drink their livers out and have fun with you... I will do the sport clubs and socialize in Zurich to see if I meet someone, if not, like you said "life goes on".

13
the you stalk the shit out of them

14
is this new search to spice things up while BF is in the UK?

15
you secretly follow them to their home and work and then keep surveillance on them for a week making notes of who they meet and talk to.

16
Nope ! broke up over 2 months ago.....so sadly I need to move alone which was never the plan...so imagine my excitement to do all of this by myself...

ahahhaah thankfully...I do have a day job and it is full time too ! It is far from dealing with watching over a guy's pants and more or less related to Trump's crazy US tax reform....

17
Your own experience proofs you wrong.

I never met people who use Tinder to find a serious relation, sure in the end it might happen, but it is not their goal, they are just looking for fun and/or sex.

However even if a guy you find through tinder is nice to you, and does not ask for sex within an hour, changes are still big he is married and will lose all interest in you if you do not go down on him within days.

18
It'll be great. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that it'll be better than it would be had you come with your boyfriend.

I speak from experience: I moved to Switzerland to be with my fiancee. I gave up my job, sold my house, put my furniture in a box, booked my flight - then, five days before the move, she dumped me.

I came anyway.

It wasn't always easy. In fact, the first few months were bloody horrible. But in the long run, I honestly think I experienced way more cool stuff than if I'd just moved in with her and lived a boring domestic life as the immigrant husband.

You're young and fancy free. Embrace it! It'll be great, sometimes.

19
I know a chic who met her husband on it - blonde Polish model - extremely unpromiscuous.

20
It depends. Do yo want to chat with them?